last night i smoked some cannabis, like i do every night. out of the blue i felt like i couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding, and my chest was tight. sneedhon that i am, i thought i was having a heart attack and called 911. they sent the local firefighters, who, after i explained the circumstances and admitted i have anxiety, proceeded to increasingly condescendingly imply that im just a deluded stoner who's wasting their time. they had the courtesy to make me lift up my shirt so they could put those readers on my chest, though. i mumbled like a retard that i have gynecomastia. i refused to look up but i could see they were all facing my direction and fucking staring at me. the ordeal also woke up my landlord who decided to come out and join in my social whipping (i rent a room in a suburbanite's home because im a retard who cant get a real income and cant afford a real apartment). despite me saying it was my landlord who was home 3 times, they thought she was my mom. as the firefighters were finally leaving one stuck behind to tell me how obvious it was that it was anxiety and that if i just relaxed it would go away with a shit eating grin on his face.will i have to experience some rope-worthy humiliation once every few months for the rest of my life? i hate being alive so much i hate cis society so much they're all evil ghouls who relish in the suffering of trannies and retards. i'm sorry for being a freak i'm sorry for being broken i'm sorry for being disgusting i'm sorry for not understanding anything i'm fucking sorry
>>42342371lmfao
>>42342371I'm rooting for you nona.
>>42342371You have survived this experience, grow to never let it happen again.
>>42342371You deserve this for doing drugs tbqhI once had a near death experience on weed but I just braved through it alone like a cis man does.
>>42342371i had a similar experience minus the landlord humiliation but it was in front of my idiot twinkhon ex. things are a lot better than they were back then but not by much. do you wanna talk on discord?
>>42344274>do you wanna talk on discord?we can but could you post yours? people have stalked me on this website :P
>>42345130not that anon but why don't you talk more in the thread. is this your first time getting "lol i'm having a heart attack?" generally i am used to people being habitual casual stoners and then once this has happened they are unable to enjoy it as easily as before and kind of start to realize it's been fucking their life in a lot of ways they hadn't examined.
>>42345174>not that anon but why don't you talk more in the thread.most of the replies are making fun of me and i dont see what id gain by engaging with them i guess>is this your first time getting "lol i'm having a heart attack?" generally i am used to people being habitual casual stoners and then once this has happened they are unable to enjoy it as easilyyeah but the firefighters said everything looked normal and i dont have a strong attachment to being alive anyway. i dont even know why i called 911 in the first place i was just scared. being stoned is one of the only times i get a reprieve from the nonstop psychic pain of being the way i am and i doubt it's even the main issue since compared to some people i honestly don't consume all that much, so i dont plan on stopping. the main cause is probably my disastrous diet and losing >50 pounds in the past year. maybe ill work on that once im at my goal weight.
>>42345228well it is a very funny story you have to admit. i have had two different friends in the last two years both get heart attack scares - one had their partner drive them to the hospital and they kinda just sat it out in the parking lot while out of their mind (first time getting teh weed terror) and the other drove themselves to the hospital and should have definitely known better from her many years of experience. i have many times experienced intense weed paranoia and horror but that is kind of why i like to use it. it's been pretty therapeutic for me to get to work through a lot of my fear and anxiety and then realize afterward that how i thought did control the course of what was happening. slowly stopped having bad panic attacks (i was cripplingly fucked in the head for years and couldn't go to a mailbox by myself without crying). i mean i prefer to have a good time but it's a nice way of creating some friction and finding a way to do something about it. i always try to challenge myself to stay active and confront hard ideas if i can't do anything more productive than that.
>>42342371sorry to hear all that nona, but seeing the word sneedhon put my sides into orbit
>>42342371Hey nona.I can't comment much on the other facets of your life. But this particular incident definitely didn't make you out to be a freak or something.EMTs take calls like yours all the time. Anxiety attacks are extremely common. My mom called 911 a few times because she thought she was having a heart attack. I've taken my sister in law to the ER after she ate edibles and was freaking out.The EMTs and firefighters were doing their jobs. You honestly didn't do anything bad. They went through the procedure and it turned out you weren't in danger. That's ultimately all.The one emt that was grinning came off as a dick imo. But he might've just been tired after a long shift or something.Look at it this way: they literally forgot all about you as soon as they got their next call.Oh, and in regards to your living situation and stuff: honestly not unusual either. Plenty of people are having a rough time.You don't have to apologize. You're not a freak and you didn't hurt anyone. I know these words only mean so much but yeah a just my pov as a third party.Hope things get better for you tho!
>>42342371my friend called the ambulance at my house once because he suddenly thought he was having a heart attack, hour ride in the ambulance, 3 hours in the hospital doing "checks" he literally just had a panic attack, nobody laughed at him or humiliated him though. so it probably happened to you because you are a weird spergy tranny
