>>42362756
you will probably troon out if you do this.

Honestly I think visiting this board heightens your risk of trooning. Surely if you want to rep its better to just throw yourself into other pursuits like work, gym or family life rather than dwelling on trooning

I mean, maybe im not the best person to ask, once I realised that male pattern baldness runs in my family I trooned out as soon as I could

>>42362756
>castration movie
adorno was right about jazz. i'll never understand a tranny making a movie about trannies, outside of the fact that the hypothetical tranny in question would have an easier time finding trannies to make a movie about than the typical cis person would. why, why, why would you ever want to be reminded of being trans. i have never written, and will never write, a trans character

actual troons usually dont wanna be friends with reppers and living through other people is pathetic

you should make friends and just troon out tbhon

>>42362756
>Castration Movie
hi louise

>>42362816
To market it to other trannies and make bank. For being so highly rated on letterboxd it was an extremely boring 4 hour slough with a total of 2 mildly funny jokes.

>>42362756
Are you me?
I went on my own to see the film too. The seats were mostly filled. I'm repper too.

40+ trans girls and a small handful of other kinds of people. The makeup of the room felt the same as the makeup of trans women online... Mostly Twink-to-females who don't quite pass. A small handful of passoids. And a handful who weren't so lucky...

I guess I felt weirdly good too? If I see someone in the wild I usually stew with jealousy like a loser, so for some reason this was different.

I remember the girl next to me kind of grabbed the chairs in front of us with both hands while having some sort of episode and then rushed to the bathroom. I hope she was okay and I have no idea what set her off. It was just Alex Walton in the cage when she went back to the basement at the time.

Also my goodness the people who laughed the loudest sounded so masculine lol.

>Do I just make a bunch of troon friends and live vicariously through them
It's an understandable thing to want. I crave the same kind of outlet for my feelings. My best friend who I see in person is a trans girl and I suppose I already feel like I'm trying to experience her life in some way by seeing her. God I wish I had some more irl friends.

>>42362827
Nta I'm a repper too and makes sense why would anyone wanna be friends with you if you introduce yourself as a repper, I've certainly never made a friend that way.

But idk it's been no challenge at all to have trans women as friends, atleast online? The people I've ended up talking to online over the years have naturally ended up being like half trans women. I have social isolation issues so I see a very small amount of people irl infrequently but if I saw more people in general ids why they couldn't be tranny girls.

>>42362814
>visiting this board heightens your risk
>just throw yourself into work, gym or family
The problem is, there's nowhere else to go to blow off repper steam. The closest to a pursuit that lets you do that is making art, but that takes times and effort, which you don't always have in the depths of despair.
Even guys who pour themselves into their work or family can blow off steam to their drinking buddies about...whatever it is that bothers them.
I wouldn't know what that is though. I don't have drinking buddies. I just have dysphoria.

>>42362756
seeing trans people in public gives me mild panic attacks

>>42363134
Real

>>42363134
Only if they pass desu. It just annoys me seeing gorillahons haunting my local mall and shit, freaking out my normie friends and then having to sit through lectures about surface level agp shit

>>42363767
if they pass how do you notice them lmao

>>42363113
Yeah. The only reason anyone would be on this board is because they don't have any normie tranny friends to whine to instead.
I have a life outside of posting about dysphoria, but just fully ignoring it will probably make me troon out faster long term.

>>42363859
I don't notice them if they pass retard. That's the way I like it.

When i was a repper i kept my contact with transwomen as short as possible to curb the trans thoughts.

>>42362756
Castration Movie sucks. There, I said it.
Glad I pirated it and didn't pay shekels for it.
Also thank fuck I stopped repping.

>Do I just make a bunch of troon friends and live vicariously through them
No, don't do that, OP.
Why exactly you keep repping? You don't have a family or people who depend on you. Might as well self-actualize instead of wallowing in misery.
Repping is hell.

>>42363874
I have two people who I've told I'm a repper irl.
One is a theyfab. She's fine to complain to, but she doesn't get it. She probably has no idea why I still rep, and sometimes I think her vantage point is mtf=drag.
The other is my therapist. She's fine too, although she's cautious about me attempting any kind of transition. She at least admitted it's hard to put herself in my shoes.
Ultimately, repgen might be a loathsome echo chamber of people too gutless to kill themselves, and they're desperate to decide whether that's good or bad, but at least they get it. Mah peeple.

>>42364065
Where did you find it at? Also, transitioning doesn't necessarily mean you'll stop wallowing in misery or be able to improve your life in any meaningful way.

>>42364065
Castration movie does suck. I heard part 2 is better but I haven’t watched it. Waiting to see it in a cinema
> Why exactly you keep repping?
I have a relatively normal life by lgbt standards. The small amount of joy I could get out of trooning out is completely outweighed by the implosion of my social life it would cause. Most people here have no connection to the outside world so they don’t see/have that risk.
Repping isn’t nearly as bad as irreversibly ruining your reputation and becoming a freak in the eyes of %99 of normies.

>>42364519
>Repping isn’t nearly as bad as irreversibly ruining your reputation and becoming a freak in the eyes of %99 of normies
See you in 10 years when the troony thoughts occupy more than half of your brain's bandwidth and you literally can't work anymore.
I really do hope you don't get there. Some are lucky enough that this shit doesn't progress to that level.
Repping is easy when it's an occasional thing and the trade-off is not worth it (like in your case, for now). It's a lot harder when this almost literally consumes your brain.
>I have a relatively normal life by lgbt standards
Glad for you.
I was scared shitless to troon out. But I guess I was lucky. Now I have an even better life than before since this thing no longer occupies all of my brain lol.

>>42362816
>adorno was right about jazz
He was saying that negroes were being forced to perform soul for anglo-saxons with none. Then the same negroes turned around and called him racist. What he was wrong about is that negroes werent being forced to perform. They just like to do that. And the same goes for trannies I think

>>42364780
>And the same goes for trannies I think
Different nona, but you're not wrong.
Altho there is a lot more diversity of opinion than among negroes at the time, I think.
I like to perform femininity. It literally makes me feel good. But then other trannies call me a pick me for it.
That's why collectivism is shit. We don't all fit into a box, desu

>>42364215
Is telling your therapist worth it? I've considered it before but it seems useless to me, I don't see a lack of insight they could give me other than encouraging me to transition.

>>42364948
different anon but I did just that.
And the horror face on my therapist convinced me to rep for a while.
Until I realized she's just dumb and trooned out anyway.
Funny thing is that we met years later and she didn't recognize me (which I took as a compliment). She then congratulated me for the courage but also admitted she doesn't understand anything from any of this.

>>42364992
That's crazy, what kind of therapist is seeing clients while not understanding anything about gender identity? Glad you're doing good now anon but holy shit, that just seems like awful luck.

>>42364948
It's worth it in that you have a place to vent.
I purposefully found someone who works with LGBT clients, and I said right up front that I had dysphoria, was questioning my gender, all that. She was supportive, helped me contextualize my feminine aspects without diminishing them. But as soon as I started saying I might self medicate, I got the audio version of >>42364992's look of horror.
I suspect a lot of therapists who work with LGBT really just work with LGB and T who have already transitioned. The agony of indecision blinds them. That's why they either encourage you to troon out or just reject the idea completely. It's so far removed from their experience that they don't have the capacity for nuance.

>>42365052
>awful luck
No. It's actually very common.
>>42365275 is right.
To add, you have to understand this shit is very rare.
And the advent of DiY has opened up situations that literally didn't exist in a clinical sense just a decade ago.
There is no data on DiYers, for instance.
I "registered" to a psychiatrist just so the two years can pass and have a legal paperwork trail that's acceptable in court so I can get name and ID change. But there's zero clinical data on me (and I'm glad that is the case, but it also means the doctors have no idea).
Trannies like me are right not to trust the doctors (they would've either repped me harder or hondosed me) but then I don't get to blame them for being clueless either. Since we don't clue them in.
Mind you, this will get worse, not better. There are far more DiYers now than when I decided to stop repping. Nobody has any idea how many DiYers are, let alone have any clinical data.

>>42365387
The best you can hope for is to befriend a hon and kamikaze their mental with yours.

>>42366353
Sorry, I genuinely don't understand your comment.
I will say that befriending trannies has resulted largely in a failure. I gave up years ago. I'm not sufficiently terminally online and my new life is way too offline and that's a good thing.
rn I'm going home from a full night out in a night club with my bf.