>humiliation ritual
Personally I don't care about the opinions of others, they are going to hate me anyway so I just went with what made me happy.

>>42362830
felt although hrt pepper is such a dumb term there's too much names for stuff

>>42363255
do you pass though? if i can't guarantee i'd be at stealth levels of passing i don't want to stop hrtrepping

>>42363272
>hrt pepper
I like my manmodders spicy

>>42362830
what are you going to do long term? this state really takes a toll and the isolation is killing me. the body horror is much better in a lot of ways but also the things that aren’t going to change still bother me a lot. And then hiding everything is so tiring. and stressful. i wonder if stopping isn’t better i tried before but i wasn’t able to stop.

>>42363255
>I don't care about the opinions of others
this is why most trannies are insane narcissists

I just got my bloods done while looking like OP pic and the phlebotomist was figuring out what the bloods were for by asking me there and then. I replied calmly and her reaction was nothing I should feel that bad about, but for the rest of the day I noticed I felt really awful and I assume it's because, this is how I exist and I'm just not okay with it at all. The shame is not about masculinity expectations, it's just about paying and actively going to the effort to have this done, for the only reason that my mind and life are in a bad place and I just prefer waking up without veiny arms to look at in the morning.

With my mind this vulnerable to just going to get my bloods like that, I'm in no position to transition but aslong as I had a much better brain that was up for it, I think it would be better than what so many years or repressing without any trauma therapy has done to me. I am a tall lanky hatchet face and I think transing would be better aslong as my awful brain was much better.

>>42363512
i feel so bad everytime i have to get bloodwork.

>>42362830
Obviously anyone sane knows that deciding to walk around wearing a dress in public when you're male is a bad idea and it's best to do that in private when you're jerking off.

>>42363449
Cisgender people want to control other people's bodies