>started hrt in mid 2016 at 27>now 36>exclusively gendered male>keep getting hair cut short as i'm too scared to let it grow out>still have facial hair as i got too anxious to keep going to appointments>haven't voice trained>haven't come out to any friends or family or coworkers due to fear and anxiety>threw out any women's clothing i had years agoi am terrified of being visibly trans and it's only gotten worse over the years
Girl what the fuck. Go get some klonopin and a therapist. Anxiety is controlling your life.
>>42370435this
>>42370339accepted that you have wasted ten years of your life, and let this light a fire under you to waste no moreeither that or accept you unironically just aren’t trans, hrtrepping without things boiling over, keeping hair short and facial hair in tact for ten fucking years suggests it’s significantly more livable a situation for you than it was for me
All you can do is stop caring. At first you'll burn with anxiety like skin is on fire but after 6-12 months it'll burn off and you'll be a better person. Stop saying the word "can't" and just do it.
>>42370455>either that or accept you unironically just aren’t transyou're probably right, i've tried to stop hrt a few times but always started again because i feel better on it. i'm not happy as a man but i don't have the drive to do anything about it
>>42370339please post unseei'm genuinelly curious how you look
>>42370339this is what the /tttt/ "manmode till you perfectly pass" narrative results in btw
>>42370435i take medication and have tried therapy a couple of times but didn't keep it up
>>42370339lol
>>42370339How does it make you feel knowing I started at 35 and in a couple years I have already had extensive body and facial hair removal, I am growing my hair out, I am out everywhere, and I am half way through voice training?
>>42370989idk, i get jealous of a lot of people, i'm used to it
>>42371013I was hoping it would light a fire under your ass
>>42371046i'm just kind of numb i guess
>>42370551Have you been on antidepressants? If you lack any motivation to this degree, you're probably extremely depressed
>>42370339This is going to be me in 7 years lol
>>42371097i am on them yes
>>42371115Which ones? Have you tried different ones or only the one kind?
>>42371122i've only used sertraline
>>42371145Ask your shrink to try a different one because you're clearly still very depressed. When I started out, they put me on lexapro and after a few weeks asked if my suicidal ideation was gone. It was and that was enough for them to never bring it up again. I had to bring up myself that I still was completely anhedonic, as you seem to be. Since you also seem to have anxiety, might be helpful for you to switch to an SNRI. Those give you insane withdrawals if you miss a dose, fixed my social anxiety though and was what I needed to actually take steps to transition beyond taking hrt
>>42371170i'll look into it
>>42370339>started hrt in mid 2014 at [redacted]>now [redacted]>kept getting hair cut short cause I got no clue bout long hair>don't own women's clothing>still happy clamHonestly you do you op
>>42370339you are self aware of that your tranny thoughts are fake, so stop doing a half measure and just detransition. hop on tren and become gym bro
>>42371248You literally have srussy
