Did anybody else struggle to accept they were dysphoric prior to transition?I did everything I could to keep myself in denial for quite a while. Stuff like:>I don't hate my facial hair at all, I just prefer being shaved and feel disgusting when I'm not, and it definitely doesn't feel wrong>I don't hate my genitals, I'm just don't care about it and it's sometimes annoying, and it definitely doesn't feel wrong>I don't actually want to be a woman at all. I'm just aware of what can be nice about being a woman, because I'm an open minded man>I definitely don't mind having a body bigger than that of almost all women. I should be confident of it in fact, as other men would envy me
>>42378654yeah, I did some mental gymnastics to convince myself the real reason I hated my masculinity was because I was gay, hated myself for that and wanted to be a girl so I wouldn't have to be gayand the dysphoria was just le internalized homophobiait sounds stupid now, but I didn't know what trans people were at the time
>>42378654ya, finding out I was a lesbian really shocked me, I'm happier now and I still working on myself.I'm so happy that I transitioned
I honestly still struggle with this. I know that I'm dysphoric by most measures, but I'm still completely unable to accept it. I just feel like I'm making up issues for no apparent reasons, and that I should just be able to stop, but I've never managed to actually do so
>>42378654>Did anybody else struggle to accept they were dysphoric prior to transitionYeah this was basically me during puberty I remember one day the school gave me an information pamphlet about puberty. I read through it and shrugged it off like who cares. Then I'd walk past the family portraits on the wall with my peach fuzz mustache and feel a deep revulsion that I couldn't explain. It did not click with me at all why I had to obsessively shave myself red and raw every morning. Also it didn't help that puberty barely touched me at all besides the facial hair, I was not a big manly man by any stretch of the imagination and my voice always sounded like a girl too. So to me it was just I really fucking hated facial hair, and seeing just the shape of my face in a window reflection made me feel good about myself. I know now it was because of my feminine facial features, and with no facial hair reflected in a window or whatever, I just saw.. me.
>>42378936i think the copes disappear when you feel irrevocably alienated from male stuff as well then you have nowhere to stand
>>42378654i have been on hrt for like 1.5 years (oldshit) and still can't accept that i'm trans. i think it's all a delusion i've made up to distract myself from something but i don't know what
>>42379094This. I was on E for like 6 or 7 months in 2024 (I've been back on it again for a few weeks) but I did end up feeling really alienated from masculinity and manhood and it was a really clarifying feeling.
