>>42378654
yeah, I did some mental gymnastics to convince myself the real reason I hated my masculinity was because I was gay, hated myself for that and wanted to be a girl so I wouldn't have to be gay
and the dysphoria was just le internalized homophobia
it sounds stupid now, but I didn't know what trans people were at the time

>>42378654
ya, finding out I was a lesbian really shocked me, I'm happier now and I still working on myself.
I'm so happy that I transitioned

I honestly still struggle with this. I know that I'm dysphoric by most measures, but I'm still completely unable to accept it. I just feel like I'm making up issues for no apparent reasons, and that I should just be able to stop, but I've never managed to actually do so

>>42378654
>Did anybody else struggle to accept they were dysphoric prior to transition
Yeah this was basically me during puberty

I remember one day the school gave me an information pamphlet about puberty. I read through it and shrugged it off like who cares. Then I'd walk past the family portraits on the wall with my peach fuzz mustache and feel a deep revulsion that I couldn't explain. It did not click with me at all why I had to obsessively shave myself red and raw every morning. Also it didn't help that puberty barely touched me at all besides the facial hair, I was not a big manly man by any stretch of the imagination and my voice always sounded like a girl too. So to me it was just I really fucking hated facial hair, and seeing just the shape of my face in a window reflection made me feel good about myself. I know now it was because of my feminine facial features, and with no facial hair reflected in a window or whatever, I just saw.. me.

>>42378936
i think the copes disappear when you feel irrevocably alienated from male stuff as well then you have nowhere to stand

>>42378654
i have been on hrt for like 1.5 years (oldshit) and still can't accept that i'm trans. i think it's all a delusion i've made up to distract myself from something but i don't know what

>>42379094
This. I was on E for like 6 or 7 months in 2024 (I've been back on it again for a few weeks) but I did end up feeling really alienated from masculinity and manhood and it was a really clarifying feeling.

>>42379094
I've always felt irrevocably alienated from life itself, so feeling alienated from male stuff feels completely normal, and I genuinely struggle to believe that the way I feel is somehow not the norm for other cis men as well

>>42379570
cis men are out there fraternizing and shooting the shit without a care in the world

>>42379697
Unfortunately, not liking being a man doesn't necessarily mean that I'm somehow a woman. I can't even tell whether I'd like being a woman more, all I know is that I am unable to like most aspects of malehood

>>42379770
you're in no man's land with identity conflict and it's becoming a big elephant in the room that's getting in your way

>>42379811
You're absolutely right about this, and I genuinely don't know how to fix it. I've almost always felt like I was barely a person in the first place, and I very much feel like I'm living a strangers life in general, so actually developing a coherent sense of identity always was like building a sandcastle with dry sand. I also still can't determine why I hate being a man, as it really feels completely arbitrary and senseless

>>42379862
faulty biology on mother, genetics, lottery or karma
it's like a road accident no point asking why

>>42378654
>I don't hate my genitals, I'm just don't care about it and it's sometimes annoying, and it definitely doesn't feel wrong
Real.

>>42378654
>Did anybody else struggle to accept they were dysphoric prior to transition?
Masturbated 1-4 times daily to thoughts of having sex as a woman and getting submitted, or at the very least having a pussy, consistently for 20 years. Tell myself it is just a fetish after every time.