It is my 30th birthday today and I am still repping and the dysphoria is getting worse. My performance at work is beginning to suffer because all I can think about now is how I wish I was a woman and how I am not. I tried in my 20s to be ultra masculine to counter act the dysphoria but it didn't work. I tried topping trannies but it didn't work. Every day I become more and more angry and bitter and there are no mirrors in my house because I have punched them all to smithereens. I am going insane and there is no end in sight. No one will ever know my real name. I will never tell a single person my real name. It is my 30th today I hope I do not live to see my 31st.
>>42386337holy unc
Manmode
>>42386337I’m 22 and have been on the fence, I had the chance and gave up for a stupid reason, I was thinking I was too old now myself which seems rich but we all have our struggles, I know I’ll be in your shoes by your age, thanks for the motivation girl.
>>42386337I was able to rep until I hit 30. Then I just could not go on and ended up on hrt. On reflection I really regret all of those years and the suicide attempts that came with them.I'm 32 now. When I put effort into my apperance and voice, I'm able to socially pass most of the time. I have a partner now and I'm more happy than I have been at any point in my life before now.As someone who repped for half their life. It just does not work forever and the pain is not worth it. Rolling the dice on hrt is a better bet, even if you don't think you will pass.
>>42386456There's no fucking point any more
>>42386337I started HRT 102 days after my 30th birthday. I saved my own life. You can too.
>>42386491Thank you don't make my mistake.>>42386516I would go on hrt but it would do nothing trust me.
>>42386337I repped till 39. It was far harder after the age of 30.The only upside is that I had the money to speedrun through transition and really take it seriously.
I'm older than you and still repping.Everyone's different, so I can't tell you what is and isn't worth it for you. All I can tell you is that it has never gotten easier for me. I've known who I wanted to be for a long time, but there was always something that felt more worthwhile, so I kept putting it off. And while all those other things either ran out or burned me out, that person I wanted to be never went away.I fear the truth is that, like any big decision, there isn't a good time to start trooning out. You just have to do it.No matter what you do, happy birthday anon. I hope you're able to find some satisfaction in it, even if it's through some small and private thing.
