>24f future cissie>getting hair follicles ripped out of my body just to eventually someday get a vagina like I should have had to begin with>pain is really bad but the humiliation of having someone see and touch down there is worse>shaking and crying uncontrollably from shame during multiple visits despite trying my best not to>the trans woman doing my electrolysis says"What's going on with you nona? I hate operating on you when you're crying. Why do you react like this?""Why do you think?""I don't know, that's why I'm asking.""Because I have severe bottom dysphoria. That's why.""You realize more people are going to be touching you there right? For your surgery.">no way!!! I hadn't thought of that!"And they probably won't be trans.">why should this matter to me?"And after your surgery people are going to be touching your genitals too, like for physical therapy.""But then it'd be MY genitals.""It's your genitals now right?">genuinely speechless"I don't understand. Are you saying you wouldn't be reacting this way if you had a vagina?"".....YES?"I still think about this and am baffled every time. How in the world can someone like this not understand bottom dysphoria? Half of her patients are there to prepare for surgery. Am I the only one with dysphoria? How was she this clueless??
misandrists like you belong on a cross
>>42389816?????
>>42389802i mean i didn't do hair removal so like the only person to touch my genitals while i was awake pre-op was the surgeon for like two minutesafter i didn't really care. i don't understand this mindset either
>>42389856you do all this performative storm und drang about how awful having a penis is to impress women and I just wish someone murdered you you are so evil for demonizing men I wish we could stab you until you stop breathing we need WAY LESS PEOPLE demonizing maleness in society
>>42389920>t. roll
>>42389933bleed sinnerBLEED
>>42389911Well it's easy to endure for two minutes, but more difficult for an hour straight. My body has a physical reaction to it
>>42389920I'm not demonizing men, I don't have any problem with men?? I'm just a woman so I should have a vagina dumbass. There's nothing performative about me going through agony
>>42389984you are trying to normalize that men hating their penises is a good thing and they should be chopping them off to please women who view males as rapists your agony is 100% fakedyour penis feels good, using it feels good, others are nicer to you when you are negative about being male because we live in a cultish matriarchy
>>42389996Ah okay you're just schizoid I guess, hope you feel better soon :(
>>42390018you literally think chopping off your cock is gonna make you loved and a "real woman" I am not the schizo here
>>42390031actually nta but i think getting a vagina will make me happier on a personal level and imorove my quality of life by helping me to love my body
>>42389802gender dysphoria is rare
>>42390141gender dysphoria is an excuse to enforce sexist stereotypes
>>42390141But you would think for a treatment whose purpose is to prepare people for a surgery specifically meant to relieve dysphoria, more people would have it
>>42389802anon i have all the sympathy in the world for you here but it being a tranny should at least soothe you a little. i flinch when cis women touch me but a tranny seems so much less unpleasant.>>42389996>t.ranny dick fetishistlol>>42390141gender dysphoria and genital dysphoria arent the same thingi want to be gendered faggot, i do not want to get a vag out of some notion that i should have one, and if i wanted one id wanna keep my dick too.
>>42389802>How in the world can someone like this not understand bottom dysphoria?Oh she understands, we all understand. What we can't understand is why you are acting like such a crybaby about it. You are an adult, get your shit together.
>>42389984>I'm just a woman so I should have a vagina dumbass.More accurate is that you are a man transforming into being a woman. We only tell cissies that we are a woman trapped in a mans body... sounds like you got lost and started believing it.
>>42390605>t.faketroon sissy>>42389802Sorry you got treated like thisUnfortunately you have to endure until you have your promised vaginaIt’s gonna be alright! Be strong!
>>42390605nta again but "man 'transforming' into a woman" or not it's still disgusting and uncomfortable to have a penis. it has never felt right to me and the idea of being seen is extremely embarrassing and humiliating. i remember going to the doctor and getting checked and feeling so mortified that they had to see me with that. i am pretty sure it isn't difficult to understand
>>42390641your average grindr sissy is more huss than the average jeep on here lmao
>>42390588I've done better on subsequent visits as I've got more used to it and remembered what I am doing it for. It was just really bad the first few times. I tried to keep it together as best as I could but I can't stress enough the trembling and tears coming out was against my will
>>42390656What does that have to do with anything bro? Go jack ofc or something man, this thread is clearly not for men why r u here
>>42390605I unironically have always believed I am a woman born with the wrong parts and I still unequivocally, firmly believe this. At no point was I ever a man.
>>42390677you are a man, deep down in your soul.
>>42390696Projecting
>>42390605No. I'm a woman becoming more female.
>>42390699the other is the worse option, darl.
>>42389802I mean i assume we're all uncomfortable about it but I hold back showing the discomfort or crying because it'll do me no good, if a guy I was with touched me there I'd cry though
>>42390717take your estrogen, Alice
>>42390717Keep trying hon
>>42390641Thank you so much. I know it will all be worth it in the end. This pain will be nothing compared to the rest of my life I get to live without constant discomfort
>>42390651I feel exactly the same way you do. It's time to grow up, none of your care providers want to deal with an adult acting like a 3 year old.I did not enjoy my laser technician fondling my bits yesterday and the laser certainly didn't feel great, but I didn't have a meltdown over it. I carried on a small talk conversation with her so I could think of something else... because im an adult and not baby brained like you are.Maintaining your composure at all times is paramount if you want people to respect you. Figure out how.
>>42390725theres no alice in my wonderland>>42390726keep missing the point, babe
>>42389920Sturm und drang
>>42390733this is what you look like
>>42390733Lol ok you made exactly 0 points and only a deeply misguided attempt at recognising meKeep trying to make sense, at this point you don’t even have that down
>>42390651Yes, you get it. Mortifying is a very fitting word for this experience.
>>42390707>No. I'm a woman becoming more femaleThis is probably more accurate, desu. Everybody saw me as a man for a while, but that didn't mean it was going to work out. It obviously was never going to work out, which is to say I was never really a man. But I guess I had myself so brainwashed I still think of myself as one. I went through my entire manhood constantly asking myself "What would a man do in this situation? how do I not appear feminine in this situation?". That is a pretty womanbrained way to approach manhood.
>>42390745>IMG_3723.jpg i dont think it iseven if it was, im not exactly trying to become my AGP object of desire so it wouldnt exactly bother me all that much so long as i had what i want out of transition>>42390758this is true, i do make 0 pointscongratulations on understanding
>>42390760So what. Wait until you get sick in a way where you have to describe your actual shits to your doctor. This is all your hangups you think you are justified or it's feminine to getting emotional over.
>>42390728Again, cannot stress enough how much I was using all of my energy and effort to hold myself together as much as I could. The fact I was having such a bad reaction made it even more embarrassing. On later visits I've used more numbing cream and put on music and talked and such to deal with it better.
>>42390773>i dont think it isIt very much is what you look like.
>>42390795my husband disagrees. how does yours feel about you?
>>42390780That sounds not even remotely as humiliating
>>42390800>husbandCongrats on your gay marriage
>>42390780describing shits is literally nothing compared to having a person grab and mull over and zap your genitals when youre bottom dysphoric
>>42390825thanks!i did get asked if i wanted another name on the cert but i insisted on my male name and mr pronouns. ill probably change docs at some point but i could not miss the opportunity to get gay married, its so much less cringe than straight marriage.
>>42389802i think abt this a lot cuz its my future and ik its rly tough for u but im so sure it will be worth it in the end
>>42390873I would literally burn in hell for 100 years if I had to just to get a fully functional vagina and vulva and I am not exaggerating. Everything will be worth it and I will not let anything stop me. We can both do this!!
>>42390932i used to say this sort of thing all the time lol. i can't believe it's going to be real someday. i guess not, like, really real, but at least i'll be happy
>>42390843You are saying this to somebody that has had to do both
>>42390964Yeah, it feels like something so far away and unreachable. When you have a fantasy you imagine every day and it's your wildest dream, it feels completely impossible that it could actually come true. But the thinking part of my brain knows I can make it happen, so I am. I expect setbacks and complications and horror and pain. I think that I'm not getting my hopes up, and then I hear any bit of bad news, and I fall apart in tears. But it WILL happen.
>>42391055>Yeah, it feels like something so far away and unreachable.nta, this is real as fuck. i know a tranner that went from an incel druggy to a straight edged good girl with a bf and all of her surgeries (incl srs) done. reaching that myself feels like the farthest thing away but i am trying with the force of 1000 suns
>>42391055i know all of these feelings so well nona :( i love you. we are going to be so happy someday. i was telling a friend recently that this feels like fairy-tale magic stuff. when i was a kid i never in a million years dreamed that this could truly happen and now it is there. sitting just out of reach. someday it will be real and i think i will probably discover nirvana
>>42391090Holy hopefuel
>>42391106Gawd, making me emotional. ;; I love you too. I do feel lucky that such a surgery exists to genuinely change someone's genitals to the correct ones. I would be insane not to do everything in my power to get that. To be able to just put leggings on and go outside and not even think about it. To be able to go into a changing room with zero worries. To have my first sexual experience that doesn't feel shameful. I need it so deeply. Ugh.To look in the mirror without having to avert my eyes. To move without constantly worrying about it being visible. To be finally free.Gonna go cry now
>>42391178yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah everything. i feel a bit preachy saying so but often i feel sometimes grateful to be transgender for a lot of reasons but a big one of them is that i will never be able to take my post-srs body for granted. i will never be able to take my vagina for granted like a cis woman. i will forever be aware of the struggles it took me to get there and forever be grateful that my body is the way it should be. i really can't dream of anything that would make me happier. this, to me, is what my life is about. i will be so happy. so, so happy. nothing and nobody could possibly take that from me.godspeed nona i hope your cry is refreshing. big, big hugs.
>>42391241>sometimesthis was supposed to say "somehow" but i'm not thinking straight...bleeeeeehhh
>>42391241Thank you. Yeah I like crying. It feels good.Personally I would rather not be trans at all but I can understand what you're saying. Sadness and happiness are equal and opposite. If someone, you know just as a hypothetical example, self-harmed and wanted to kill herself, and then had the reason of her deep deep inner sadness cured, yeah, it feels really really good!!! I can't deny I still feel so grateful and peaceful every time I'm nonchalantly referred to as a woman by a stranger.But also I have a lot of hobbies and interests I must attend to, damn it. And I missed out on any childhood, that was unfortunate. I'd like to just live my life away from these issues already! I only have one life and I want as much of it to be within the right body as I can make it.
>>42391241And thank you for hugs nona your solidarity makes me happy <3
>>42391379for me it is that i think being transgender has made me a more beautiful person, at least on the inside. i have lots of problems, not the least of which being that i am transgender, but this experience and the personal hell it has put me through have annealed my soul and made me kinder, more understanding and loving and caring and thoughtful and i really wouldn't want to live any other way. as much as i yearn for a female childhood, i know it never was possible and that i've got to live my life *now*, and be happy *now*. and i am grateful for everything my life has taught me and for the indomitable joy i know i will forever keep in my heart once i am living in a body that is truly my own. very few cis people get to have this. i think i'm probably rambling now and i feel a bit annoying (and preachy, like i said) talking about this stuff, but this framing has helped me appreciate what i used to think of as one of the greatest possible misfortunes as an opportunity to grow and cultivate a true lust for life :)>>42391436reading your posts makes me happy, too!! i used to think of it as sort of cringey (which itself is cringe) but i love trans joy. transgender people deserve good things and they deserve to be happy. i hope you continue experiencing the gratitude and peace you mention as long as you live. may the universe be good to you <3
