I’m an average-weight-slightly-chubby guy and always have been. Some days I wish I was an androgynous twink, and some days I wish I was an ultra-masculine bear. I’ve tried working out but the motivation never lasts long enough, because I don’t really have a goal in mind. I’m afraid of committing to one of these ideas and then regretting it, so I’m just kind of paralyzed inside of a body I hate. I don’t know, it just seems impossible for me to actually enjoy living in my body, so trying to change it feels kind of pointless. I wish I didn’t have a body. I kind of wish I wasn’t alive. I don’t really feel like a person. I don’t know what I want, and I never knew. Finding out what I want seems impossible. I don’t really want anything. My body doesn’t feel like it’s mine. I don’t think I’m alive. I don’t think I’ve ever been alive.
>>42393256sounds like some pretty serious bdd or dysphoria and depression anon, but those things are treatable. your body is not the dichotomy you're making it out to be and i hope that's apparent to you soon. talk to a professional and gl
