>>42398439
because the lgbt community has historically bonded through sex, more so than cishet people. don't ask silly questions

>>42398439
BDSM is done by sexually disordered people so that they don't have to confront their fear of intimacy and can hide behind a set of pre-defined rituals and roles.

>>42398439
wow, so tuff

>>42399109
>>42398439
if only the most elaborate, flashy stuff but ultimately devoid of substance stuff qualifies as bdsm to you, you're probably a tourist looking for nice photo ops to promote your onlyfana

>>42398439
i don't :)

nothing against ppl into kink but it's just not for me

>>42399205
I want a sadistic guy who isnt afraid to leave me bruised and begging
begging for him to stop.
begging for him to continue
begging for what he has to offer.

Like thats the floor. Men are always scared away or claim theyre interested in it but suddenly after nutting once or twice they get bored or tired.

Why do they get bored and tired?
I literally dont understand why I want it but its some insatiable desire I cannot quell. I feel almost empty emotionally and mentally without it.

It makes me just wanna die. I know its basically a zero percent chance I find someone who would put up with somone as selfish as me LMAO.

>>42400375
Yeah it's hard to find people who are comfortable doing that. Also men have no sexual imagination, they will say they're doms or sadistic if they think it will let them hit, but in the end they're almost always most motivated to nut asap and everything else is secondary. It's just too complicated for testosterone sexuality to get that abstract. Women tend to be the more genuine perverts

>>42400375
Moids are sexually selfish. They don’t give a fuck about your orgasm. Shitty male doms prevail even in kink spaces. It’s a problem with moids. The few good are taken.

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>>42398439
have noticed this as well, have been into bdsm for a long time and there are a lot of larpers now
or people that are just unwell and want you to abuse them
very hard to find sane people who just want to do bondage like you're saying
another small personal grip is ive always disliked the swinger and poly types that invade the space

last girl i fooled around with typed essays at me about being into really hardcore stuff but really just wanted to be held

>>42398439
Setup government-funded gloryhole hole-in-the wall job positions that let people just rent out their bussy/gock. Im a shy introvert and even i would sign up for this. Just let me scroll on 4chan/reddit or maybe have a break room on one side so I can watch TV or play videogames and we have a deal. This would solve a lot of problems

>>42400574
Wrong thread?

>>42400479
>>42400406
It geniunely feels hopeless.
I feel dysfunctional in relationships if I dont get something reminiscent of this.
I wish I wasnt like this.

>>42400614
I'm like that too and I've just given up on ever having it. After a few years of accepting it, I'm practically asexual so it usually doesn't bother me anymore

Idk. I like it alot. I've even surprised myself with what I let people to me. I once let someone choke me with their belt until I was lightheaded and force me to crawl on my hands and knees, then they fucked me while choking me with the belt again. It was so hot, but I didnt do that again lol.

>>42400608
Technically it is bdsm. your stuck. cant move. And your in a wall. Its like a mix of freeuse and rope stuff. but you cant wriggle your way out of a wall.

>>42400631
Its soulcrushing. How do you cope?

>>42400658
A gloryhole doesn't automatically imply restraints. I've never seen one that had them. Also its still unrelated to the OP

>>42400666
I accepted I'll never have it and eventually the urges weakened until they disappeared. I still like them in theory, but I rarely crave it anymore. I just enjoy being a regular slut now, occasionally

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can we talk about how terrible fetlife is in here lately as well?
site is infested with vanilla horny spammers

im a bi dude and get random weird messages from gay dudes all the time there
>u up?

>>42400741
I wanted to get on fetlife but they wanted me to upload my ID, which I will never do

>>42400763
weird, ive used that site for like ~10 years and haven't ever had to do that
could be a country specific thing

>be me top sadist/switch
>want to find someone to tie up and smack with toys for fun
>dudes don't read profile
>see pics ive posted of me tied up at events
>want to fuck my hole
>ok

>>42400741
Yeah it really is terrible. Full fo cheaters like grindr too.

>>42400678
The kind of glory hole im referring to has the person literally inside a wall. Half of their body is physically on one side and the other half is on the other side.
>>42398439
People like feeling unique. Like.... bdsm tourists. Some people arent as extreme though.

>>42400741
Fetlife is shit for finding people they refuse to let you filter like dating app to prevent it from being a hookup site but that's the fucking point. I want a guy to tie me up and fuck with me but the whole site is full of straight old men who want a young woman to bareback. Bottom of the barrel "fetishes". Wish there was a gay fetlife

>>42400853
big agree
like me and you sound like we would match up
they should add something if you can't filter to line you up with what other people are looking for
even the events have been pretty low quality or full of tourists lately

it has turned into 50 shades of tinder
>full of straight old men
real af

>>42400853
Doesn't feeld let you filter by orientation and kink roles?

>>42400914
>feeld
?
they intentionally make it hard to search people on there
best way ive found to find people is to search your city or check the local forum post things
pretty common to set your location to like antarctica though so lol

>>42400988
real

>>42401033
this is probably the dynamic most straight trans women have with their bfs i reckon

>>42401061
the bfs should learn to get over themselves though, do what needs to be done

>>42401061
>date trans puppy girl type
>she claims to be really into kink
>put collar on her
>she cries
>try to tie her up
>she cries
>try to do pet play with her
>she cries
>?

>>42401077
You're supposed to laugh at her when she cries. You seem to not be getting this at all

>>42400988
Yeah ngl hurting my partner would hurt a part of me but as a service top you gotta do what makes them feel good. even if that means following their orders to its inevitable conclusion.

>>42401088
That's so lame, I would not want someone to hurt me if they're not genuinely enjoying it themselves. The whole point is to not be in control, just doing exactly what the bottom wants defeats the whole purpose

>>42401077
she sounds like me lol. sometimes a fantasy seems really hot but then you try it for the first time and it makes you sad and you don't actually want it
>>42401103
unfortunately true

>>42400845
>The kind of glory hole im referring to has the person literally inside a wall
that's not really what a gloryhole is

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>>42401084
i think she just really liked the aftercare, but not the actual acts themselves
praise kink i fear

>>42401077
Maybe shes crying because shes so happy that your doing it. or just overwhelmed. remember anon, just because your partner is crying doesnt mean shes not enjoying it. Id probably cry during sex too. Honestly sex with the both of you crying sounds kinda nice
>>42401103
Then order them to take control and be rough beforehand. If im given the prior order days before to rape you. That gives me the green light to not feel bad as I know deep down behind those tears and yelling that you requested this ^_^

>>42401077
sometimes crying doesn't mean stop
if a man put a collar on me and forced me into a cage I would cry tears of relief and happiness

>>42401128
>That gives me the green light to not feel bad as I know deep down behind those tears and yelling that you requested this
It's still not the same thing if you're just doing the things you know your partner wants you to. There's a night and day difference between someone who's genuinely sadistic and someone who's just going through the motions to please their partner, even if they don't feel bad about doing it

>>42401178
oh, well thank god I'm not genuinely sadistic.

>>42401128
>>42401137
ok sure, but if they don't communicate that to me it makes me uncomfortable and i'm going to stop or check in on them
safe words exist but i still care about the other person, and if they start uncontrollably being upset i don't want to keep doing it

>>42401197
what a shame

>>42398439
>why do so many lgbt peeps lie about being into bdsm stuff?
like silly fetishy roleplays and the D/s stuff, the sadism/masochism doesn't turn me that on. idk how bad that would be

I just want a transbian gf who would be sexually aggressive and slap me a bit and use my body as a sex toy and put me in a collar and call me her girl is that so much to ask for

Id even do all that back

>>42401220
Yeah im a very caring and nurturing person as well. But maybe check in with them after your done. And ask them to rate your performance on a 1-10 and get feedback for next time. Try to find that balance. In fact being so kind and caring will be good for the aftercare. Just perform the role like your an actor.

>>42401299
Yeah I could definitely do this. Sometimes its freeing to let out my dark urges onto someone. Finally get to be the Rapist I read about in smut. And use my partner as an ashtray. This way I wont bottle it all up and actually hurt someone

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>>42401404
need to just find a little gremlin pain slut masochist i think, otherwise it's not very fun for me
equivalent to having sex and they cum in 3 seconds and are done
which is like generally not satisfying

has happened with several girls not just that one

>>42401404
>This way I wont bottle it all up and actually hurt someone
that's probably a hard thought to deal with, but I gotta say it's hot to hear from the other side