I'm jealous of men who have the moral nihilism and irresistible urge to cheat, because I've been in a relationship for over a year and the sex is dead and I'm not happy. I've desired and fantasised for other men, and the thought of cheating is morally repugnant but also exciting. We're probably going to break up before the end of the year.

Cheating is not nice or good, but after running the course of a relationship to the point of stagnation and boredom, I do understand why it happens and I don't think cheaters are monsters. Selfish, cowardly, but not monsters.

>>42521362
Imposing morally upon yourself is so fucking boring. Just do whatever you want if you can get away with it.

>>42521362
Hey or just break up first if you think the relationship is over anyway instead of being a disgusting scumbag. You provided your own solution.

I've cheated on my boyfriend with trans women multiple times.

I can't say I regret it, although it does hurt and i didn't plan on doing it. I have powerful feelings toward other trans women but it feels like the type of woman I like wouldn't date me.

It happens because I am AGAMP And GAMP, BPD, MEF, slightly autistic, and have have been having difficulty in my sex life with my BF, among other reasons.

>>42521957
bitch…OMG?

>>42521758

It's not that simple. Especially when you get older and most people are either partnered or not. Some people have awful relationships they stay in, for better or worse.

>>42522006
No it actually really is that simple. You're just a complacent coward.

>>42522020

Okay? i admit it. But being a mentally ill transbian is not easy. What good is you being a judgmental shrew going to do anyone?

>>42521957
>AGAMP And GAMP
I am sick and tired of you woke piece of shit retarded knuckle dragging faggots shitting up my board with your made up 32 genders and stupid fucking labels. You are mentally ill

>>42522087
Please don't act like a victim when all that's going on is you're in an unhappy relationship and you want to betray someone's trust because of your own shortcomings.
Do you think it's worth traumatizing a person just because you're lazy and scared? Talking about what good me being judgemental is going to do but not even considering your own actions.

>>42522087
get a boyfriend instead ya dork

>>42520487
I hotwife.

I like it.

Why cheat, just lay it all out and be honest.

>>42522140

GAMP/AGAMP aren't woke genders they're conservative signaling trolls from blanchard/Bailey. Lurk more or go back to r*ddit pls. Also I have been on this board from the beginning and on this site from the beginning so it's mine and not yours.

>>42522159

1. The thread OP says no judgment so you're breaking the thread rules.

2. What do you want me to do here exactly?

>>42522165

I already have one, but the fact is i'm a transbian at heart. I fall for trans women and there's something about them that no man can equal, or at least for me.

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there is no such thing as a "monogamous" or "devoted" lgbt partner and everyone here knows it. we are whores, every one of us.

>>42520487
I cheated.
>married (to a woman) young
>knew I was attracted to guys, too, but ignored it
>marriage goes through issues
>divorce isn't possible due to finances and kids
>no sex for a year
>go on CL looking to hook up with a woman
>scams and hookers
>look at M4M
>amazed how many guys are in my situation
>hook up with one
>realize what I've been missing
>continue playing with guys

I feel bad about cheating, just as I would doing anything wrong.

Early in my marriage, I found out that my brother-in-law was cheating and I refused to have him in my house. But once I walked a mile in his shoes...

But once I cheated in my marriage and sex was taken off the "issues table" in the marriage, it actually got better.

>>42520487
when i was coming to an end of a 3 year relationship with my last boyfriend, there were occasional stints where i'd download grindr and chat to guys, just getting pictures of their dick and the like without needing to reciprocate anything but a pic of my face, didn't hookup with any of them but it kinda made me realise i can do so much better than an emotionally immature 3/10 manchild as a girltwink at the time, the relationship fizzled out for "other reasons" but that was the core motivator to me pushing him more aggressively into being a proper adult.

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>>42523086

>>42523105
>grindr dicks kinda made me realise i can get a much better exclusive partner who loves me
you deserve to be lovelessly pumped and dumped until you're too old even for that

>>42523202
yawn, it was the attractive guy behind the dick, not just the dick itself. a guy who doesn't want to better himself doesn't love me because he doesn't love himself enough to care about our potential future, but nice try :)

yes.
>live with gf who I love more than anything romantically
>she pays most of the bills
>terrible sex life
>only attracted to her personality (strongly)
>she comes out as asexual midway through a very sexual relationship. it was all a hoax
>secretly start fucking this gorgeous passoid nonstop
>it was originally supposed to be a poly thing that didn't work out
>we're all over each other
>best sex of my life
>her touch and kisses send waves through my body and give me chills
>softest skin I've ever felt
>10/10 my type
>I see her as the most beautiful girl in the world. never been more attracted to anyone in my life, cis or trans
>fall in love with my affair partner
>dream about running away with her but we could never make it work financially
>spend every day with her
>dream about her every night
>gf finds out I fucked her
>asks if I love affair partner
>be honest with her and tell her I do
>still gives me a chance
I can't leave my gf because she is who I want to grow old with and bc I'd be homeless but I also can't accept a dead sex life, and I'm also falling in love all over again. She knows this and still wants to make it work. I shouldn't cheat on her ever again but the urge is so strong. I hate being in a love triangle, I can't decide whose heart to break

>>42523206
>it was the attractive guy behind the dick, not just the dick itself
anon I'm sure you don't have that much autism and know that I wasn't talking about the literal dick of the guy who wanted to fuck you

>>42523208
there's more to this but I am afraid to say

>>42523224
no i think thats what you were talking about and now you're blushing and embarrassed and kicking your feet and squealing like the cute tranny you are

This thread makes me feel better about being a twenty one year old virgin.

Yeah it gets lonely but fuck having to deal with all that. People really will imagine 2 novels worth of background context to justify humping stray dick lol.

>>42523208
Are u a tranny ? And is ur gf cis ?

>>42523115
What makes you think that? Genuinely curious.

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>>42520487
I have cheated in all my relationships and I will cheat again if things don’t improve.
>Why did I cheat?
Because I’m an avoidant bitch who’s too brainwormed to state my needs. Every relationship has felt unsafe. My brain is on a constant fight or flight mode that I will one day out of nowhere be left. I need a back-up. I need to know someone can push through when we do have problems. I can’t have all my eggs in one basket of man. If someone makes me feel loved, if someone is overt in being attracted to me, if someone states their loyalty, I have no desire to cheat. Am I able to be upfront and say I wanna be complimented more? That I wanna feel desired? That I want to feel more like a woman? That I want more romantic sex? No! It makes me feel repulsive and malebrained. As long as I don’t teach my lessons, I will repeat it. But alas, I fear it’s too late. Cheat too many times and you become one of those people that can
>“just do it”.
My first time cheating was the beginning of the end.

How does one cope after cheating? Well, you compartimentalise: it wasn’t me-me. It was some other me.
What happens when you’re not the other you? Well if you’re not living it; it becomes a part of you again. Slowly integrating, deeply feeling you did something the real you would fucking despise. The only cure is to live out the other you again. Cheating and cheating. Cheating again just to stave off the feelings. You stop caring after a while. What was once the worst thing someone could do has become a silly fact of life now. I barely understand intact people’s frustration with it nowadays.

I am a decrepit husk that lost part of its humanity. And a worthless weasel too who flirts with seriously hurting people instead of stating my needs of wanting romance and affection. But all the moments I did bring this up in my current relationship, I was shot down. Doomed to repeat everything.

>>42520487
My first kiss and the first girl to bring me to orgasm were both girls who were cheating on their boyfriends with me. I cheated on my first serious long-term girlfriend with another girl and two guys, and cheated on my next gf with a guy and a tranner. Haven't cheated since then, but have hooked up with a few taken women and men.

Now I want to mix it up and have a hotwife while I remain faithful to her.

No, I am unable to lie or hurt others on purpose, I know how it feels and I wouldn't subject anyone to the same pain.

>>42523454
I want to fix you...

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I was being loyal to my bf for years, and I never wanted to cheat on him. Ever. In a million years.
But then a friend I had known since I was a teenager messaged me out of the blue. He was the first person I ever had a crush on, back when I was a minor and he was an adult. He also has BPD. Basically, he messaged me saying thanks for always being someone who'd tolerate him more than anyone else and wouldn't mind whenever he'd freak out so I was always someone that was stable for him no matter how bad he acted.
It made me feel good because I always would try to be nice no matter how he acted back then and I was glad it was appreciated.

But then he started suggesting that he wanted to be more than friends. He talked about being extremely possessive. I wanted to stay friends, but every time I wouldn't energetically and enthusiastically echo his feelings back to him in some way, he'd go into a BPD freakout session that would drain me for hours, if not days, as I tried to make him feel better. Eventually we crossed the line and I started sending him pictures and videos of myself naked. I felt awful about it, and it tore me up inside, but every time I even so much as not jump to reciprocating his sexual approaches he'd turn sour and be in an awful mood for days. Eventually I started sending lewd pictures of myself just to make BPD swings end because they'd work and almost anything else wouldn't. I'd just feel awful each time, like I was performing whoring myself out just because I felt responsible for managing his emotions. Eventually, he declared that I must be his soulmate, and said explicitly that every effort he was making to better his life was founded upon the energy he got from believing he would end up in a relationship with me onto forever, and suggested several times that he may even go as far as killing himself if it doesn't work out.

>>42523752
At several points during all of this I tried to push the idea that we should just be friends and that I felt awful about cheating, but each time after a while, no matter even if I got him to agree to that, he'd come back a week or two later telling me about how he lost all motivation to do anything in his life and wanted to die and say that the thing I should do more than anything is leave my boyfriend. Every time I'd even suggest at all that I felt guilty or mention my boyfriend he'd freak out and yell at me for hours.

At this point I'd been feeling so crushingly guilty about all of this for so long that I accepted the fact that the just thing to happen would be for me to die alone with nobody, and thought I'd even be glad if such a thing happened because at least I wouldn't still be actively cheating.
It's just that every time I imagined trying to say something to this guy to end it, I thought he might genuinely kill himself or something. And every time I imagined telling my boyfriend that I had been cheating on him despite all the loyalty he had shown me over the years, it tore my heart out and I could never bring myself to do it.

Now I just feel trapped and I think of myself worse than I ever have. Every morning I wake up to this reality I hate it.

For me this all happened because I found myself unable to say no when I thought it'd hurt the person. I'm too easily swayed by the idea of putting someone else in pain, that I gave in to more and more, wrapping myself up deeper in trouble. I wish from the very start I held a more firm line and explicitly stated that I couldn't do anything romantic with him, despite whatever reaction that would cause him. But I guess I'm just the kinda person that's so weak willed, I just give in to what other people want from me if it'd make them upset. Over and over again I've been trying to end this but over and over again I'm made to feel like I'm hurting this person for doing so. Now everything is ruined.

>>42520487
>Asking on a queer board if people are monogamous
Lol honey, monogamy is strictly a straight thing.

>>42523759
People-pleasers are sub-human. At least the other cheaters ITT are having a good time.

>>42523752
>>42523759
I've betrayed my partner that I've been with for 5 years and who said would want to marry me in the worst possible way.

I've learned that I as a person am too weak willed, and give into others, among other things. Even as I felt awful for cheating on my bf, I also felt awful for making this other guy feel bad when I would reject him. I never was able to stand firm on it. I'd waffle and give in to anything if I was told not doing so would make someone upset I think.

Honestly it's made me think I'd have been happier to be kept separate from guys or something, to just be spoken for instead of speaking. It's pathetic.
I want to die, I hate myself.

>>42523774
Yeah.
I can't enjoy a single thing from either relationship anymore. Being told that I'm loved or anything good from either just makes me feel guilty and awful. I feel ready to just let go of everything and have everything crash around me because then at least it'd end. But I don't have the wherewithal or something enough to just tell either of them that it's over.

>>42523752
lol u broken manchild

>>42523680
I can be fixed. If someone knows this about me, it means I can freely talk about it. Say whenever I need something. Tell them when I’m afraid of fucking up. I want the freedom to tell someone i’ve been retarded and looking at other people a bit too much.
But that will never happen. People don’t trust that shit and for good reasons. I have an intense longing to be loyal, but I can’t square it with being an avoidant bitch who seeks the easier way out

Yes, I was in a LDR and after about 2 years and an experience in which two other trannies were cuddling with me naked ("for sensory reasons" which I retarded enough to take at face value) started fucking several of my friends including a landlord because I thought that I needed to exchange sexual favors for housing.

This isn't to make any excuses, in all of these situations I could have known better and there were several sexual relationships I absolutely could have been more intentional about / not indulged.

My primary regret is not being communicative after it happened. I didn't open up because my therapist told me it could wait and I was afraid of my partner hurting herself. Which is something else I could have thought through better. The last person I cheated on her with was actually someone I liked quite a lot but in many ways it being an affair made it difficult or impossible.

I think I learned my lesson, but maybe I just avoided it by not being monogamous since and not having any LDRs.

>>42520487
I'd sooner kill myself than cheat. I'd take a bullet to the head rather than be forced to be intimate with someone besides my boyfriend.

>>42523752
>>42523759
This is going to sound crude but you really need to cut that guy out of your life and if he tried to suicidebait just tell him its none of your business what he does and block/call the cops.

>>42524236
>Whores out
>Invents a whole backstory and retroactive reasons
>Lies and takes 0 responsibility
Trans women are women.

thank god im asexual you people disgust me. literally unless you're going to be put on the street by breaking up (which means the power dynamic in your relationship is fucked to begin with), either communicate or end it. fucking people pleasers are retarded because nobody is ever pleased with them anyway, and you "avoidants" are even more parasitic. everyone in this thread deserves to be put in solitary confinement.

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>>42521734
>>42521758

>>42523348
They're both trans. It's not like what you're thinking. I'm just not physically attracted to my gf (lateshit) but I find my ap (youngshit) to be the most beautiful girl in the world. I just don't want to leave my gf because not only financial reasons but the fact that as I grow old sexual desire will die out, and my gf is my best friend who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I love laughing and spending time with her even if I'm not really attracted to her, but my ap is the epitome of my desire and someone I also am totally in love with and fantasize about running away with. I'm so conflicted. My gf is better for me by far but I'm not attracted to her meanwhile my ap is divinely beautiful and we have incredible sexual chemistry and I enjoy her company a ton.
I cannot imagine a reality where I can't date both of them. I'm perfectly happy with them dating each other too. I'm poly and I want my partners to love each other and not be jealous either

>>42525138
if I break up with my gf I will be on the street and probably kms. Ideally I want to date multiple people and let my partners do so as well

I know polyamory is really frowned upon but I feel like I will be very dissatisfied in any relationship. I make sure to make this clear to the people I engage with romantically/sexually

>>42520487
I've cheated on just about every gf I ever had but none of my bfs. Wont cheat on my bf but did facilitate a 3way with another tranny for us

>>42523797
you do not deserve your boyfriend if youre easy to coerce into cheating