>>42545743
I had a relationship with a girl with BPD and instead of chasing a healthy relationship im looking for that same unhealthy feeling of being pedistalized but this time "it will be different" I know it wont be and im just a love addict.

>>42545763
how long ago was the relationship?

>>42545834
Little over a year.
Ive had romantic options since, but nothing hits the same

believe me, i'm lying.

I had a relationship with a pooner with BPD and I made him eat his own shit while I masturbated

>>42545858
I don't believe you, I think you're telling the truth

>>42545743
I was significantly more attracted to the first guy I tried to date than my current bf, and I still feel jealous when I hear updates of that guy pursuing other people instead of me

>>42545743
i don't see myself as a real woman
just a self-medicating male schizo autist
https://lens.monash.edu/natural-selection-estrogens-potential-as-a-treatment-for-schizophrenia/

i still think about you every now and again but i’m starting to move on

can't get outta my mind
i think about the girl all the time

I like to jerk off to lesbian art imagining that the characters are just effeminate men

my closest friend has gotten a gf recently and i'm getting scares hes replacing me. i know hes probably gonna keep me around no matter what, we've been friends for a long time and hes not the type to do something like that. but i do miss our long calls and when we'd play for really long together. i think we've only called once or twice since he began dating her and they vc together and i see him playing vidya with her and i feel so left behind. i hope these feelings die down though, but either way i don't want to tell him how im feeling

>>42546119
he is replacing you. he wanted to date you but you friendzoned him so he's moving on

Life seems to only get more complicated, painful and terrifying and my regrets accumulate every year and I don't want it to anymore

i'm excited for the parasite eve remake.

>>42546152
there isn't a parasite eve remake, you're thinking of that other game

>>42546159
that's just how they get around copyrights so they don't get sued

>>42546138
i dont think he ever wanted to date me, we dont live close at all and we've both talked about how shitty ldrs are. also should go without saying but im a tranny and i dont think hed want that

>>42546165
>we've both tlaked about how shitty ldrs are
that was him coping
>t. cis male

>>42546203
we both have had experience there i hope he wasnt just coping :(

i'm a chaser but in the old meaning of the term (chubby chaser). i want a fat gf so bad and it pains me every day i don't have one. i have literally no other aspirations or ambitions in this life i just want a fat cute gf who lets me smell her ass

>>42546241
Are you a woman?

I'm financially dependent on my gf who loves and takes care if me but I am in love with my best friend. We fantasize about eloping even though I know she's terrible for me and we're both dysfunctional as fuck. We have incredible chemistry and sometimes my gf feels like a stranger now compared to her.

>>42545743
I guess the overriding confession is that im a hypersexual turbo slut and have been since I was about 8yrs old.

I'm blue, but if I were green, I would die.

>>42546369
like, completely financially dependent?
how long have you been dating?

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>>42546366
no, i am a cis male. i recognize this torpedoes my chances of finding a fat gf

>>42546119
>>42546165
>>42546237
im going thru the exact same thing rn and he is trying to replace u
the mixed signals can only get worse from this point on
he came onto me first anyways but i never wanted to take advantage of that fact and we also live far from each other
fuck his shitty neglectful gf that doesnt care about him and doesnt appreciate him no one will ever love him like i will and no one will give him the love he wants like i do

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>>42546593
It's unfortunate how we attach to those who hurt us.

I think for the most part we can read energy. If you felt at the beginning he did want you or he did like you it is probably correct.
I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I have done this before without realizing it. Often times I would get really intimate in conversation with girls online. I would feel this whirlwind of connection but then reality hit and I got scared. Honestly it's because I was hurt in a LDR but its also the only way I know how to connect with people. I am working on it because I don't want to hurt anyone any more.
Often times after the reality hit that me and this girl would not work out I would still hold on to the connection. I would be literal in my words, "I don't see us working out", but there was a part in the back of my mind that was like "but damn I sure wish we could"
I think if you are looking for connection online there is an apsect of you that is avoidant, even if you don't want to acknowledge it. I at least know it's true for myself. I have forsaken relationships IRL from girls who liked me who were great on paper because I was pining for someone long distance.

>>42546385
I will beat off a guy
I will eat apple pie

>>42546593
>i love a man but i would never ever ever ever tell him because im a neurotic retard
you soulpass, terminal fembrain

>>42546593
but that's the thing he never came on to me or gave me mixed signals. farthest he ever goes in that direction is complimenting my appearance but i think hes just being nice, he even admits i don't pass. sorry to hear about your situation nona but its a little different but i do empathise, i feel like i love him the most even if it is just platonic

>>42546688
You've described so many people I've known

>>42547080
I think a good portion of people online are this way. I don't want to say everyone is this way but I imagine a lot of people are.

I so desperately want to be seen but also terrified off it. I think this is catnip for everyone who is similar. I don't know what it is, often times I might join a discord vc, i'll express a bit of vunerability, someone enters my dms. I get a whirlwind of connection and then it peters out.
Sometimes I miss a lot of these people. I desire to message them and tell them how much our connection met. Though i'm terrified i'll just come off as obsessive because I think more often then not these connections met more to me because i'm an empty cup but I remember people from more than a decade back, some i've might of been in correspondance with for a couple of weeks, and I still think back and hope they are doing well.

>>42545948
>>42546369
break up already

>>42547465
>>>42545948 (You) #
>break up already
No I'm actually mad that guy lives rent free in my head. I want to strangle him. He cucked me with me in the same room before I made myself stop pursuing him. My bf actually wants a relationship with me and I want to figure out how to make myself as obsessed with him instead of idealizing this guy who left me in tears

>>42545763
>>42545847
a little over a year? what, did she break up with you on Christmas?

>>42545743
confession: ive been jerking off to furry scat porn lately and i dont know how to feel about it. i dont like scat irl

>>42548185
this is actually pretty common. i would say it's even the majority. kinda like how most foids have a rape fetish but most would not actually want to be raped. if anything, a lot of scat fetishists actually tend to be quite clean and hygenic irl
>t. been in the scat community for over a decade

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I try to be a decent ally to trans people but they make it extremely difficult. Trans people can't even fully define what being "trans" even is. I fully support bodily automony and you can and should do whatever you think will make you happiest. I'm a constitutionalist by heart and a very strict patriot. The constitution clearly says that all men and women are equal, and that they all have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
But that comes at a cost. Trans people continued to push further and further past the line of decency into the realm of the absurd. The reason why gays, lesbians, bisexuals, etc. were able to win their rights is because them being gay does not affect other people in any way. At worst you may end up seeing two men kissing. But in order for someone to be trans, they need literally every single person they meet to be "in" on it. They need every single person to change their instinctual behavior (call something that looks like a man a woman, call something that looks like a woman a they) or else they will threaten suicide. And trans people seem to be incapable of understanding why this might bother other people more than just the concept that two men might end up kissing.
I think trans people should be free to pursue whatever form of happiness they so desire, but I also think other people should be free to call a man a man when they see one. I also think they need to back the fuck away from children.

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Ive been cumming in my cisf gf and having sex with no protection cause i want a family. i dont even care if we abort it i just want to know its still possible. at 16 my endo told me i could freeze sperm and i fucking didnt cause im retarded and wanted hormones as soon as posisble i couldve saved some and not worried if i couldnt have a biological family. and im scared the terfs and shit were right about the consequences but also i love what being trans has done for me even more. Im gonna have a stable career post grad school and my gf is finishing her masters soon and we can have a family. I just want a family.

>>42549416
the confession is i havent told her i do this silently (barely anything comes out not like you could even tell) and keep going through the motions of sex till my dick goes limp since well it came. I know shed kill me if she knew this.

>>42545743
I had a relationship with a theyfab who was intensely mentally ill, and whom I tried to push towards becoming cis before they became even more mentally ill and dumped me

>>42545743
i constantly fantasize about my cism boyfriend magically waking up with a virgin cunt and raping him and getting him pregnant, and despite this fantasy of a cis guy with a pussy i'm not sexually attracted to pooners since i've never met one i actually considered a man.

>>42549023
>I try to be a decent ally to trans people
i somehow doubt that.
>Trans people can't even fully define what being "trans" even is.
transsexual describes those with a neurosex that is misaligned with their natal sex. transgender is an umbrella term that encompasses essentially anyone interested in challenging traditional conceptions of gender.
>Trans people continued to push further and further past the line of decency into the realm of the absurd.
trans people are not a monolith, and it's not so much a matter of anything new being 'pushed' as it is a matter of when you became aware that whatever you are referring to is important to trans people.
>being gay does not affect other people in any way
not a critical difference. being trans has little to no impact on others, not any more than people claimed being gay did when they used to talk about how it'd degrade 'culture', and that the crazy gays had gone too far by telling kids they could be gay.
>They need every single person to change their instinctual behavior
get over it? this is a matter of treating someone with a medical condition they did not ask for with common decency. like, if you see someone with some kind of disfigurement, you know not to stare right? despite your 'instinctual behavior' to? because you have enough common sense to realize that that'd be incredibly rude? why is the entire anti-trans project so devoted to going in circles about their god-given right to be belligerent assholes to trannies?
>I also think they need to back the fuck away from children.
as i mentioned, they said the same thing about gay people. transsexualism is a condition present from birth. if a child is transsexual, they need treatment, end of story. i don't know why you're surprised that trannies, nearly every single one of whom wishes they were able to transition as a kid, would want the same for other trans kids.

I masturbate to incredibly fucked up porn for hours everyday and can’t get it up for anything else anymore. It’s not testosterone’s fault, I’ve been addicted far before HRT. I don’t know how to get rid of my addiction and I’ll never have a real penis to have normal sex with, so masturbation is all I have.

>>42548394
>i would say it's even the majority
that's cool i guess
> a lot of scat fetishists actually tend to be quite clean and hygenic irl
yea, i manage to take a shower like every day and am very self-conscious of my own "down there" hygiene
but like. the concept of scat irl has no interest to me but seeing ropes of shit spew out of a pokemon's asshole in art is amazing and i love it
i told myself i'd only look at it if it didn't look like actual poop and instead like a gel/ice cream, but i haven't actually held myself to that...

>>42547793
Why would you allow that to happen why didn’t you beg him not to

>>42549685
>transsexual describes those with a neurosex that is misaligned with their natal sex
explain non-dysphorics

>>42549944
socially dysphoric ( something else entirely from transsexual ) don’t know why it happens. Not my problem as a sex dysphoric (transsexual)

>>42549944
>explain non-dysphorics
they are transgender, but they are not transsexual.

>>42549685
>transsexual
You've already fumbled the bag. As I understand it, the term "transsexual" is now considered "outdated", "stigmatizing", "pathologizing". I rarely see anyone use this terminology outside of 4chan. Despite people then going on to describe being trans"gender" as essentially just "transsexual but we don't call it that".
>it's not so much a matter of anything new being 'pushed' as it is a matter of when you became aware that whatever you are referring to is important to trans people
Telling me I have to be okay with puppygirls wearing diapers and other fetish gear in public is definitely a new thing.
>not a critical difference
It really is a critical difference and it's the main reason why trans people are having a much harder time securing the same rights gay people did. The fact you people can't see that is really insane to me, you must be willfully ignorant or genuinely delusional if you did not think there would be pushback against "you must affirm my existence in every concievable way or you deserve the death penalty". Once again, in order for you to be trans all of society has to opt in to that. Your analogy of someone with a medical condition also doesn't hold water because that person presumably didn't choose to have whatever disfigurement might draw peoples' eyes. Out of pity for someone who had an unfortunate thing happen to them, I choose not to stare. Why should I pity someone who chose to look weird and uncanny?
>i want to touch children
Please don't.

Realized that the reason my fiance and I (bi f, bi m) fight so much when she drinks is in part because for the first few years of our engagement she would regularly get blackout shitfaced and put me in situations where I had to bail her out to the detriment of my own personal safety, emotional well-being, and relationships. (To be fair she still does this, just less regularly).

Now I basically have a 6th sense for when shes getting too drunk and it gives me fight-or-flight levels of anxiety. So I start to feel uncomfortable, she presses me for what she's specifically done wrong to make me upset, I cant point to any one thing, she insists I'm overreacting, we fight, and the next morning she doubles down that I was a piece of shit for coming at her and Ive always been really self critical so I just kinda accept it.

Anyway, I have this moment of clarity that oshit its a trauma response (ye im retarded) and I tell her the next morning. Like "hey, I think i realize why we fight so much- you havent done anything wrong in the moment, but Ive learned to associate you+alcohol as a threat". Literally tried to be as non confrontational as possible. She says she needs time to process. Cool.

>Few days pass
>Shes been cold and distant
>Finally opens up this morning
>"If youre scared of me why TF are you with me?"
>bc when youre sober youre my favorite person and ilu
>...
>conversation kinda ends there

As I was reflecting later, it just seemed like a massive deflection and passing of blame back on to me for being vulnerable in the first place. So Im kinda pissed and kind of want to cry. And kind of wanna throw on a crop top and hit up the shitty gay bar downtown and get violently bred by a bear bc if Im gonna feel like a scorned housewife I may as well get a decent fuck out of it. For the record I would never but this is a confessions thread and the intrusive thoughts are relentless.

>>42550128
you're dating an abusive alcoholic. the "point to a specific incident" shit is a manipulation tactic to make you doubt yourself. i'm here to tell you that the bottle will ALWAYS come first for her. that's how alcoholics are. if you're okay with that, stay with her. if you're not, i'll treat you right
>t. bear with a big dick

>>42550074
>the term "transsexual" is now considered "outdated", "stigmatizing", "pathologizing".
i don't care what it's 'considered'. i am quite happy to use the term to describe myself.
>Telling me I have to be okay with puppygirls wearing diapers and other fetish gear in public is definitely a new thing.
i'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, but this comes off as very bad faith. none of this is inherently tied to being trans. sure, it's shit trannies do, but this has no real relevance. i'd implore you to keep your opinions about public fetish gear and tranny-kind at large separated.
>it's the main reason why trans people are having a much harder time securing the same rights gay people did.
not really. the modern anti-trans hate wave is not a collective response of reasonable, concerned citizens, but the product of a coordinated effort by the powerful to use us as a political tool.
>you must affirm my existence in every concievable way or you deserve the death penalty
who said that? i just said if you don't you're kind of a huge asshole. i would also implore you to separate your opinions on freedom of speech from your opinions on tranny-kind.
>that person presumably didn't choose to have whatever disfigurement might draw peoples' eyes.
and i chose to be transsexual?
>>i want to touch children
implying i'm a predator because i want kids to have medical care is not classy. can you please provide a reasoned response to my initial statement on the matter?

>>42545743
I feel like I'm not really bi until I actually fuck a twink or a femboy

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>>42550279
>accusing me of arguing in bad faith while you completely disregard the parts where I very explicitly said I believe all people deserve bodily autonomy and to pursue their own happiness
Come on now.

>>42550409
i disregarded them because those parts needed no response, we are in agreement.

>>42550462
And I will stand by what I said. And you will see there will soon be more lawsuits like the one that happened in New York just the other day and blame everything aside from the trans community's insistence on pushing the envelope as far as they can.

>>42550165
My gut says you're right anon and thats kinda what scares me the most. I vented to a mutual friend earlier today and she was basically like ye, she loves you but she treats you with non-stop disrespect, which i really dont mind (aside from the booze and a few other things) bc Im a degenerate maso and feel happiest being consensually exploited. So I think im gonna try waiting a few days and bringing up couples therapy and see how that convo goes. If it blows up in my face, that might be the final straw, in which case yeah, cock carousel bc I wont want anything to do with women for a minute.

>t. twunk with a small dick built for bottoming

>>42550473
>And I will stand by what I said.
i'd hope so? can you respond to the rest of what i wrote now because everything else you said was pretty silly.
>blame everything aside from the trans community's insistence on pushing the envelope
in what way does this lawsuit implicate 'the trans community'? seriously. as far as i know the doctors who approved the treatment weren't trans, and the plaintiff wasn't trans.

>>42549841
you're weak, i like it fictionally and irl, we re not the same

>>42550829
idgaf
maybe i would like it irl but i have no way of experimenting with that so i forever rep

>>42550740
if you're in oregon give me a call if you need a good time
otherwise best of luck splitting from that boozy bitch

>>42545743
I like... no, I love! To tease and mock penisless people because they cannot penetrate me.

>>42550944
PNW bear is making me think lumberjack, and thats making me think tied up against a tree and fucked with a knife to my throat...

But alas, Im in Texas ;_;

>>42550764
The doctors were misinformed by the trans community that lopping off a young girl's breasts was in her best interest because she claimed she was a boy. You can stop being intentionally obtuse any time now, nona.

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>>42545743
I GOT ANOTHER CONFESSION TO MAKE

I know way too many "gay" furries who ended up with girlfriends. What the fuck is with that?

>>42545743
i'm a dude in love with a tranny, and i have no idea what they look like. i just like how they post

>>42551479
IRL furry is just a porn habit taken too far. if they can quit the cycle, they can quit being "gay"

>>42551242
kinda right. more along the lines: ftm's aren't the same as mtf's so you can't treat them the same.

i'll give you an example from clinical psychology that made piers morgan all pissy. in psychology they were saying to discard things like competitiveness in boys during diagnostic evaluation. he took it to mean: strip them of those character traits. that's not what it means. what it means is to ignore them, consider them normal, or otherwise benign. it's normal for boys to want to play football and go to states. that's not indicitive of psychopathy, which is something you're parsing for under evaluation. there's normal levels of competiveness in boys. some flare ups or outburst in men specifically can be attributed to testosterone. hence, being a jock doesn't make them a psycho. it's not your job to psychologically neuter them of their masculinity. it's only psychopathy when they start doing crazy things to try to win. when they start abusing steroids for instance. that would be the line between healthy and unhealthy. it's not their job to heal them of their competiveness. it's their job to teach them to be gracious and accept defeat. going to excessive lengths to win indicates an inability to emotionally process defeat or loss. it's them effectively running from it. they're never gunna feel big enough or strong enough or win. it's another form of addiction. you would be treating things like that rather than trying to rid them of their masculinity. if you wanna get all roided up, sam sulek. just understand that you might become zyzz. the lesson to teach them is one of pride. the tale of icarus.

The thread is fine although most of these are relationship posting
Are there any anons/nonas with interesting confessions

>>42546388
yes, i'd be homeless.
also I kinda neglected to mention im basically having an affair with said best friend... not exactly but it's complicated

>>42552072
it's easier to break up with them with your own place, she just paying your rent?

>>42549442
that’s really fucked up honestly and you really should not do that.. however it is really unlikely you would get her pregnant still i beg you to not do that just in case

>>42552126
yeah, we live together and have for a long time. I keep getting fired from every job and I'm terribly depressed and can barely take basic care of myself. I also do love her and her personality we just have zero physical intimacy

>>42552171
she's kind of just become my caretaker at this point because I'm pretty and she finds it cute how retarded I am

>>42552198
i mean this is just kinda the transbian life. there's a retard tranny and a functional tranny that adopts her

>>42552244
yeah but I fell for another retard and idk what to do because she's even more retarded than me

>>42552171
why no intimacy though?

>>42551742
I fucked my cousin for a few months at the beginning of covid lockdowns
My best friend trooned out and I occasionally think about fucking her and her wife

>>42552278
She came out as grey asexual halfway through the relationship and she's also just not that good looking to begin with because she's a bit of a lateshit. I usually date down because my attractiveness and sense of humor are my only redeeming qualities and I just try and find someone that has a good personality. Last time I dated someone I was attracted to she had BPD. My best friend is by far one of the most attractive women I've ever met

>>42552341
shit hole you've dug
make it right quickly lass don't even joke

>>42552341
she's not asexual she's probably just traumatized that her girlfriend thinks she's an ugly hon

It's been a while since my temporary job ended, I live with a "friend", we've been "friends" for so long that I've spent more of my life with her than with my family, it always oscillated between very close friends with brief moments of being a couple but it always withered fast, we've been through a lot, more than anyone can bear, extreme situations that none of us would have endured if it weren't for our closeness. Few months before my last job started I told her I was interested in seeint other people, at the time she said she had no problem with it yet a few days later she started being more affectionate towards me, asking me to try again, one last chance. I refused, not that I don't like her but being together that way always ended up badly, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone but we just can't be together that way, we've hurt each other so much in thay regard that at some point I decided to better stay as friends. The job started, I wasn't looking to meet anyone, just focusing on performing well, but this guy, someone I'd never think would approach me let alone try anything with me, he would always start a conversation, he genuinely wanted to know more about me but he was engaged, as much as I wanted for it to happen it wasn't meant to be, I am many bad things but I'd never wreck a home, tho I never straight up rejected him I tried to keep him away, so I told my "friend", she told me she had already noticed I had changed my attitude, I was merrier but didn't want to bother me, ever since then she's been insisting on being together, started being romantic, but was also filled with jealousy so she lashed out a few times which is what I was fearing, overtime she started becoming more calm and the problems just vanished, it's been a while since she's been very understanding and I don't know what to do, I could try but what's the point, maybe she really wants to be with me and I am messing it up but I'm not sure if that's what I want.

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as much as i didn't, i still miss her. what a weird and strange life i've lived. it was one of the most toxic an beautiful things i've made happen. i knew it would end in heartbreak and i am conflicted because i knew in the beginning that what i was doing was wrong. that it would end in heartbreak. it was a selfish and lonely type of love. a love that brought warmth and kindness to a soul that was not familiar with either. she was one of the most beautiful and sensitive creatures i ever laid eyes upon. she was a he, and i, now a he, was a she. what a backwards situation it was. every day i plug away hoping to get better. hoping i'll ever become someone that could find someone half as decent as her to settle down with. in the end, i wonder if every sunset i watch will be tinted by the memories of shared smoke and kisses.

>>42549841
>the concept of scat irl has no interest to me but seeing ropes of shit spew out of a pokemon's asshole in art is amazing and i love it
you'd actually be shocked at how common this is. personality excretion, jelly excretion, enemas, hell even just pushing objects like dildos or eggs or whatever out of buttholes is a very common kink. its not a big leap to make from "i love buttholes" to "i love things going in or coming out of buttholes", same reason why pee is a very common fetish

>>42550922
>maybe i would like it irl but i have no way of experimenting with that
step 1: hold your shit in for like 2-3 days (or longer if you dont really eat much)
step 2: find some panties and wear them
step 3: shit yourself

>>42549718
me too anon it's fucking hell being deprived of your ability to have proper sex with your dick like we're supposed to. i've coped for years using fucked up fantasies/porn and can only get off to violence to make up for the simple fact i can never penetrate someone. fuck my pooner life

>>42553018
literally just get a fleshlight and stimfap thats what i do and it feels amazing

>>42551242
>The doctors were misinformed by the trans community
oh? misinformed how? and by which members of the trans community?

>>42553058
stupid question maybe but what is stimfapping in this context

>>42553065
>by which members of the trans community?
Lilith, Alice, Aiden, Alyx, Kai, Yuki, Chloe, Zoe, Maddie, Sophie, Jamie, Seth, Jordan, and Luna.

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>>42553065

>>42545743
really starting to think my little brother touched on me when we were kids and I don't know why it bothers me because like that's a retarded thing to think about. we were both just kids, and it's kind of on me for being a little freak and having such a delayed sexual development that my younger sibling managed to catch up and surpass me.
it's something I've never really stopped thinking about since childhood but I also can't even tell if it really happened which is even more stupid. obv now it's been so long the memory is fuzzy but even back then I would always just tell myself it was a weird dream I had and that made it feel like it was a dream. but then why does it always resurface, why can I not shake it out of my mind when he's around? what does it even matter now? it's not like I ever want to tell anyone for many reasons, and yet I feel like if I don't say all this I'm going to lose my mind. hopefully this is enough. I don't know

>>42553167
stimulant fapping
you can do it with caffeine, nicotine, amphetamine/adhd meds, it makes you last way longer and intensifies the sensation
i mostly do it to work out my ass and legs

>>42552935
>personality excretion
>jelly excretion
this is awesome but this is so niche that it's sorta hard to find results for this
>dildos or eggs or whatever out of buttholes is a very common kink
dildos i get, but i'm not exactly sure how i feel about oviposition. most of the art of it is kinda gross and i dont really care about the eggs ngl
>its not a big leap to make from "i love buttholes" to "i love things going in or coming out of buttholes"
honestly very true
>>42553016
i already have a diaper fetish and have already shit in them before, but i usually try and convince myself that i dont really like the shit aspect because while it feels great to do, i dont really get any enjoyment out of it once it's already out of my ass.
but haven't held it for like 2-3 days - isnt that dangerous? i dunno if i would even be comfortable holding it that long
additionally i don't really live alone anymore so its hard to even experiment with this even if i wanted to (plus cleanup would be a bitch)

>>42553207
YOU made the post on a public forum. i responded to it. you chose to engage. i don't expect you to name any specific members of the trans community, that's the point. the question serves to illustrate that this idea of a nefarious 'trans community' somehow forcing doctors to give patients medical care (???) is an ad hoc convenience and has no connection to tangible reality.

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>>42545743
>AGAMP
>used to be into women
>now only AGAMP fantasies where I get fucked by a man or facefuck a man as a passing tranny
>repped for years
>thought I could make it
>no porn (my mind is way better at imagery)
>hook up with a guy while crossdressed
>coom the most i've ever coomed in my life while he was inside me
>no going back
>horny all the time
>wake up wishing I had tits and hips and my friend would fuck me all day and I could make him suck my dick
>going to troon for a fetish I guess

>>42553319
oh my god we get it you jerk off to shit coming out of an asshole please move on

>>42545743
So good news. I think i got rid of my attraction to loli/shota stuff. It went away as I had hoped. My suggestion for others struggling is to just go on a porn/gooning discord and use that porn.

Went back to liking just futa/shemale/bbws and much happier. At worst id probably (proudly) say that I now only have feet, foodplay, and something else.

>>42553319
can you please please please please please date me

>>42553319
no it only becomes dangerous if you hold for like weeks
when you hold it in it feels really nice kind of like a dildo but a lil wetter

another way to experiment with this if you don't have alone time would be to just hold it in and shit in the toilet or on a bed of toilet paper or something

the fun part is when it gets reeaaaally big and you let loose a lil and it just comes out on its own so you can just take some deep breaths while it pushes its way out and stretches your hole it feels sooo fucking good

>>42553396
no dont move on lets keep discussing this pleaasee

>>42553483
Look, getting a good shit out is nice. But please dont shit outside the toilet. Idk what your doing. But due to my iced coffee addiction im regular everyday atleast once. But never really found it to be sexual. its a relief I guess.

>>42553481
but anon
im a tranny
you dont want anything to do with me
that is a lot of please's though.
>>42553483
>reeaaaally big and you let loose a lil and it just comes out on its own so you can just take some deep breaths while it pushes its way out and stretches your hole it feels sooo fucking good
anon, this is um, uhh. the way this is written is borderline pornographic to my brain for some reason. i promise i used to be literally the most vanilla person i know.
anyway this sounds really pleasing.
i kindof want to experience this now, knowing that it's only dangerous if you hold it in for weeks at a time... uuugggghhh i might need to do this. i feel like such a freak.
>>42553495
i don't really want this to become the "scat lover's delight" confession general edition though, these threads are mostly for vagueposting about relationships and drama. i didnt expect anyone to reply to my confession desu

>>42553569
i'm a cis male and i want everything to do with you

I refuse to finish whenever I jerk off and try my best not to when I have sex because I think it makes me more of a woman.I think the last time I came was like 3 or 4 months ago, its embarrassing to ask guys to not make me cum and they never really get it, annoyingly it normally makes them want to make me finish more when I ask them about it.

I wish I was having sex with my boyfriend right now.

I wish I wasn't reading this thread right now.

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>>42553520
>please dont shit outside the toilet

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>>42553569
>uuugggghhh i might need to do this
yesss trust me it feels as good as it sounds and you dont have to make a mess to do it either
take the brownpill nona...

>>42553569
>>42553614
>>42553635
You people need help. Good lord, this is not the place for this

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>>42553680
as if there IS a place for it, you vanillacucks always push us out of your boring anti-fun spaces because we're "toooo grosss!" for you as if sharing bodily fluids with a complete stranger isn't. try living a little nona

>>42545743
i am in a relationship with a person who i should love very much.

but i have realized i am not attracted to them at all.

i dont know what to do

>>42553635
im just a little nervous about doing this because i really don't get much time to myself. as in, i might have to wait multiple months or so to actually do it.
im also nervous about it because like. i didn't think i'd turn out this freaky. it's sort of rocking my world right now that im even imagining doing this, i always told myself that it was gross and i would never do it.
>yesss trust me it feels as good as it sounds
BUT, i'm always down to try something at /least/ once, because you never know if you'll like it or not. who knows, this might be my next favorite thing
i just don't know how i'd explain this to anyone, let alone a romantic partner
>>42553680
i know i need help, i found it. thanks :)

/confess/ - confession general (Now with 168% more scat posts!)
Seriously guys, take it somewhere else.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in murderous fantasies (for people who deserve it) that I start shaking.
Sometimes, I realize I have blacked out and done things around the house.

This worries me.

>>42553706
what's your living situation?

>>42545743
i think i really and truly hate myself

>>42554141
i think you should consult a mental health professional.

>>42554267
LDR, I live with a roommate at my college. We visit bi monthly. She is obsessed and would khs if I left her.
Also she's a rich older trans woman (not a lateshit though) And I'd get SRS and medical issues payed for.

>>42554315
I cant I'm poor. The blackouts aren't always related to the murderous fantasies though, they trigger it easier tho.

>>42554287
why? :(

>>42554342
bet you're DID.

i can’t stop cutting not out of a genuine extreme urge to cut but rather that i feel like it makes me better and i like when it hurts and i feel prettier and more confident and my ptsd goes into remission when i sh. i never cut deep at all it’s as surface as u can get and the scars don’t last bit still. it makes me feel scared because of the emotional safety it brings me it makes me feel better and convolutes hate and love into the opposite of what they are and fuels my compartmentalization.some days id be having mental breakdowns and my affirmations are love and hate are the same i love you u hate you i repeat that like a hundred times. i like how the scars and fresh cuts look too. it’s like almost a fashion thing. i just always thought it’d be something i’d only have to do for some time then i could stop once i fixed my problems. but my problem is unfixable because it’s the way i physically developed. and even if i get my face done and my tits done and those experiment ones like clavicle shortening or ribxcar it’ll never be enough because it’s in every bone of my body. and not even just that there’s all the damage from the stress too. so i’ll feel this way forever i think, it’s like im compartmentalized in every aspect by states of appearance. and i was almost close to the best one but i couldn’t and ill never be able to get over that ever cause it was too bad. i’m so aware that it takes everything away from me and i can’t do anything. but the razor brings back my willingness to care. i just wish i was prettier and could undo more of the damage because i would be more myself and i could act differently and move thru life differently and not have basically a personality disorder. i keep trying to push myself more and get prettier but i just hit a barrier so often. and i was taught to give up and stop caring by my old therapist. but it never works. it always makes me worse.so if i dont sh it feels like detransition.

>>42554287
rel8

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>>42554352
ex-parents thought i was demon possessed.
so could be that too. who knows.
too poor L

>>42554390
demons aren't real, your parents are assholes. you have DID.

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>>42554403
i know.

the fact this isn't impossible makes me want to bite my arm off.

oh well therapy for it lasts your whole life + too poor to even get diagnosed + diagnosis is death sentence for a tranny medically

gonna forget i worried this and pretend its fine.

>>42554141
>>42543932

>>42554534
>>42554613
Idk

>>42550958
I have sinned again, I did it again :(
Why do I find this so sexy?

>>42545743
I once dated a guy because of a dare among my friends, we would put him on speaker phone and laugh at the cringe shit he'd say, he killed himself about 7 years ago and I feel zero remorse

im so fucking lonely and codependent i need another girl who i can love and who can love me and spend time with talking constantly eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I saw a cute guy today while shopping with my wife for winter clothing for our two boys. We had a short moment where our eyes lingered.

>>42554365
I can fix you.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that my relationship may be permanently fucked from this affair but I can't leave my gf for multiple reasons. Every time I talk to her I just switch into that personality where I live in an entirely different reality because I've literally dissociated away the fact that I'm cheating on her. My substance abuse has become so much worse bridging the gaps in time before we can fuck again because I'm completely addicted to this. It's getting less and less frequent as time goes on but I want more and more. I can't find anyone else to satisfy this craving because she is literally perfect, I just need it more and more. She is the best drug in the world and I can't stop using her body as escapism from my life and I actually really love her romantically as well but we can't be together so we have to keep it all a secret. I'm so tired. I'm so frustrated. I hate being constantly anxious and worried and hiding I just want her and I want her to want me and I want nothing else to exist in this world except us and the time we spend together but even she can't keep up with my lust.

>>42555007
are you the same nona from before?

i'm a switch with genital dysphoria and every person i've been with sexually forces me to exclusively bottom. and there's nothing i can do about it except break up, but i don't want to do that. i just wish i could be treated the way i want to be sexually. i wish i was dating someone who acted like they desire me at all, even if it isn't in the ideal way. i feel repulsive. my partner won't even perform certain sex acts because i guess it makes them disgusted to touch me in that way. i get teased for my dysphoria and toyed with, the air where there should be more to my manipulated so as to remind me what i'm lacking. remind i'll never have the body i am apparently supposed to have. on top of that they're barely present during the sex we do have. i wish my partner would at least want me, fuck me. so i can feel like the form i'm in is at least redeemable somehow. i'm so heartbroken how bad, and how sparse, my sex life is.

>>42556136
are you ftm

I'm really ugly and cheated on my boyfriend. My asshole is really loose and the man I've been sleeping with did not even cum.

I don’t understand why people tried to force me to be male when I never wanted to be male in the first place. I’ve explained it so many times and it fell on deaf ears. Can’t I just be androgynous? Apparently not.

>>42545763
Getting lovebombed is intoxicating and addictive. I fear that I will never be loved with that kind of intensity again.

It fucking sucks being a yearner and a love addict :(

Sometimes when my girlfriend (MTF) laughs, coughs, or sneezes loudly, I get nervous PTSD flashbacks because she genuinely sounds like my dad. I can never tell her this because she’s dysphoric. Its fucked. I love her, I wish I didn’t wince every time she sneezes.
My PTSD is ruining my life lol

>>42558564

oof that's fucked but not your fault.
help her voice train maybe?

>>42545743
I just had a dream. And the scenario was so hot.
I was busy doing housework and wanted to reward myself with some orange slices that took me forever to peel. I then found they were missing. I asked my sister if she took it. But then she called down her friend. She had taken it. She hadn't thought it was a big deal. But this was once again another time where my sister's friends ignored common decency.

So I sent my sister upstairs. I told her friend to follow me. I led her to the livingroom, I had her lay down on the chaise lounge. She started crying and so I explained that this isnt sexual, this is a form of punishment. I was now over her with my knees on both sides her hips and hunched over her, I started by kissing her on her neck then her chest.n Moving downwards as she pleaded she would never do it again.

But right before I could really get interesting I was woken up from my dream. woke up with an erection, probably because I haven't masturbated in probably 4 days.

But how is this a confession? Well I think i like rape now. Or maybe this was more of a punishing kink? idk. But that was awesome.

>>42549900
He didn't get "official" with me but let me make it into a pseudo relationship. He wanted to spend some time with someone else, but it wasn't supposed to go as far as it did. I didn't say anything because I'm a wimp who has a hard time saying no to anything. I think he might be the same way because he let the other person take the lead and go further than he said he was going to. I think he ultimately just wanted a different sort of person than me but found me to be nice enough and attractive enough to him to let it go on without shutting it down. After all of that I still would have been with him if he asked, but he didn't and I made myself move on. I hate that I'm so cowardly and incapable of requiring a clear commitment one way or another. It was my fault

>>42558564
iktf especially since i still live with my dad its like living in five night's freddy's jumpscare fuck you world

>>42559664
How far was too far?

I love and miss spice

>>42554944
the only thing that’ll fix me if if i get prettier and skinnier and get my own place desu that and time and sleep i h8 ptsd

>>42553483
this is so fucking hot.

>>42556874
no. i'm on hrt but not concerned with gender really, or even dysphoric about my body aside from genital stuff. i just have sexual dysphoria i guess.

>>42556136
who are your partners and why dont they let you switch

>>42556943
if you manage to have a boyfriend and someone to cheat on him with, you're not ugly. stop being a terrible person cheating on your partner.

>>42565147
doesn't matter and they just don't want to i guess. i think i just have to accept that my partners desires (or lack of desire) and boundaries matter and if they're incongruent with my desires and boundaries then the relationship won't work. there's only so many times i can say i'm eager to switch things up just for whoever i'm having sex with to keep things exactly the same and treat sex like maintenance or an obligation i'm forcing them to take part in when in reality i crave transcendence and overwhelm and self actualization from something i consider a genuinely meaingful hobby. i left relationships over this before. i don't want to feel bad about being a lust driven pervert but i wish i was different so i could be happy in a relationship.

>>42565477
It completely matters what they are, but you should try to find someone who accepts you

I am a (white) latino with a white (euro) boyfriend. Because of that, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him.

I can't stop thinking about having a loving boyfriend on daily basis knowing I'm not in a good place mentally/way too scared of even getting into a relationship.

>>42564021
They started frotting in front of me and stuff and he was pretty much subbing to the other dude. I think he's more of a bottom than he let on. It just wasn't meant to be despite him being very nice, emotionally close, and attractive. I feel guilty about ever ending up in that whole situation though. I thought I could change certain aspects to be what I wanted

>>42545743
i am insanely jealous and bitter and it makes my life hell

all i do all day when i don’t have class is lie in bed with my macbook and cry listening to the smiths

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I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will always, forever and ever, be a stupid fucking tranny. I had a breakdown today over just seeing a cis girl exist. She just looked so happy to be alive. That must be what it feels like. Forgetting everything else externally going on right now, it must feel great to feel confident in your own body. But me? I get to deal with having a fucked up fat distribution and moobs. I will never be a real woman. I didn't get to experience growing up as one, so what's the point? It's not going to magically change by injecting estrogen every week. What. Is. The. Point. Estrogen exists to try and keep me complacent and non suicidal with the other horrendous actions going on in the world. Everything is fake, gay, and retarded. I miss when I used to cut myself and everyone pretended to care. Bird up.

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>>42545743
I have vivid and intense intrusive thoughts about torturing/killing people who have harmed me greatly in the past.

I am not worthy of love I am ugly childish annoying and mentally ill

>>42551242
nta but have you actually read the lawsuit.
In the decision it is explicitly mentioned that the doctors DID NOT follow the WPATH guidance.
In other words, the whole shitshow happened precisely because the doctors didn't listen to "the trans community".
The current anti-troon wave is a product of a coordinated effort by the powerful to use us as a political tool, like the other nona said.
And that lawsuit is a good evidence of it since the way it is reported about is blatant disinformation.

Since this is /confess/ my confession is that I largely agree with you, overall. In fact I'm probably more of a chudette than you.
Get the fetish gear out from the public, the language policing is cringe and the preaching in schools of geh and troon stuff is a very bad idea that brings no benefit to troons and pisses off normies for no reason.
>people should be free to call a man a man when they see one
yeah, free speech and all of that.
Still, I'd laugh if someone would call me "sir" IRL. Even Middle Eastern chuds in the Middle East would rather ask me why I'm not wearing the hijab, lol.

>>42553391
>going to troon for a fetish I guess
Confession: I trooned out for the fetish.
About 5yrs in I thought I'm regretting. Almost detrooned but then I met my now-husband.
In the meantime I had srs and finally my agp (or whatever it was) went fully away.
I never told him I trooned for a fetish. I'm sure he wouldn't care by now but it's something I'll take with me into the grave.

You hurt me with your kindness
It's not your fault but it is the truth

I feel bad (yeah, again) for mocking people for not having a penis but I just can't help it, it's just too hot what do I do?

>>42574774
Get a post-op tranny partner.
I love it when my hubby does that to me. Because that's exactly what I wanted.

>>42574578
How was it a fetish for you? How did SRS fix your desire to detransv

>>42575173
What does you hubby does? Just to get more ideas you know ;-)

(maybe he could call you a squat-pisser? a smooth-crotch? rape you and mock you because you can't rape him back?)

>>42575190
>rape you and mock you because you can't rape him back?
Undoubtedly one of the cringests newfags on this god forsaken board.

>>42575209
Imagine judging on the confession thread AND to reveal being whimsyless x)

I suddenly got hit with the mind shattering fear of my boyfriend someday revealing to me that he never loved me and that he's just been lying to me about everything this whole time (this has happened to me before).

>>42575182
I am what this board would call either agp or mef (probably mef, desu). Full on fetishist. It was the reason I trooned out. I absolutely enjoy being female.
>How did SRS fix your desire to detransv
You misunderstood or I wasn't clear enough (or both).
The two moments were separate. I wanted to detroon because of unrelated personal/social reasons and also a health scare. I met my now-husband when I was at my lowest.
And since he liked me as a troon, I stuck with it and the unrelated reasons resolved themselves.
SRS came almost 3 years later. Recovery was hard, but after that, I started regretting I didn't do it earlier.
Sex and masturbation with my srussy "scratches" my agp (or mef or whatever this is) just right and I finally no longer feel like a freak all the time.
The logistics are also making me feel better too. No more tucking, no more fear of being outed, travel wherever I want, etc. But the primary motivation was a fetishistic one.
>>42575190
>rape you and mock you because you can't rape him back
We do engage in cnc, yes.
But why do you have to be so weird in public about it? Eeew!

>>42575281
>But why do you have to be so weird in public about it? Eeew!
It's been on my mind for like 5 months and I can't get it out it's terrible, I just mention it here and nowhere else however. And let's be real it's not like this board was clean and not filled with shit even more cringe than that kink.

I will always love you..

>>42575296
Yeah, fair enough. I mean I just admitted that I trooned out for a fetish and SRS completed my fetish so who am I to judge lol.
My husband is into forcefem and cnc so yeah, lots of humiliation talk about me not having a pp and aggressive sex. Also "surprise" sex (which is now possible with the srussy, no more prep work).
>squat-pisser? a smooth-crotch?
Neah. More like utterly failed male, "you don't have the balls to fight back", things like that.
Probably that's why the other anon called you a newfag. Your examples of insults are really tame.

>>42575326
I'll try to work on it then.
Although I won't use "failed male" because it won't work for cis women, I like to be inclusive.

I love a trans girl but I'm scared it will condemn me to hell