> be me> repper ugly insecure teen bang hookers twice and regret (got scammed on the 1st one)> confess love to friend before i give up living mid 2024 and stop repping> angel friend becomes angel bf and i officially start to boymode> learn makeup, buy clothes, have sex and be happy with bf, don't pass tho> mid 2025 used drugs on a party after a trash week and parents end up discovering all the shit> quit school, focus on last bucket list item (book) and gaming, pretending i'm studying by myself> still learning to write, but it's going forward when i'm not 24/7 gaming on disc> study two weeks idagf bout uni> dec 20ish writer's block, can't form sentences and i hyperfix on elden ring> jan 1st week I: start HRT (DIY), keyboard breaks, bf confides me he's broke and hell trip to fucking countryside no PC> government says: "ur application for uni failed lol"> turns out was a bait, gotta leave from bf house way earlier than expectednow lets get to today> 18 yo transbian (bf has low T, and it's cute like a twink for me) boymoder doesnt pass, homofobic parents, no privacy, ADHD, wannabe writer and housewife (mysantrope)> 24yo bf with also homofobic parents (they don't know bout me) that works for his family and get low salary> keyboard not here yet, depression makes me want to sleep all day, barely writing a sentence a ,1 month till i start uni i don't want> can't even fucking kill myself cuz bucket listtf do i even do? i really like my bf, but if I start living with him he's gonna go bankrupt and might lose his job, he doesn't deserves any that at alldo i stop e and steal my brother's adhd meds so i can write faster and die?i try finding a rich chaser or patron on /soc/ to sustain me till i can finish book? sex with men is terrible but food and warm showers are a necessitykeep pushing foward seems like waste ngl> all that i can do now is spin a purple butterflycomb i got for 1 dollar and force myself to watch childhood nostalgia to keep me awake
