Recently had a friendship collapse with a youngshit (for reasons largely my fault) but I have just been simmering in agony for the last few weeks, even before she formally ended things with me.I was friends with her for a couple months as my only friend, which was a recipe for disaster. Every time we hung out i felt like 41%-ing afterward because she was so beautiful and passing, and I was a foot taller than her and a gross honmoder. And yet I kept wanting her more than anything because she was beautiful and I wanted someone happy and pretty to take me with to things, because I'm too ugly to go out into the world on my own.Now I don't know how to go on with my life. Because of my BPD and dysphoria and constant darkness I ruined the only friendship I ever had with a normal girl. I'll probably never get to have another passing friend, it was a complete one-off thing off a discord server and she just had bad body image leading her to spend time in tttt spaces. The worst part is she was still the "anime and games" tranny type, the exact kind of girl I am, but for her it's happy and fun instead of cringe and sad. She loves to go play games at events with mostly cis guys and they all treat her as "the girl" of the group. If I do that, i get treated as one of the guys. She gets to go on with a wonderful life full of fun and travel and all kinds of wonderful things she does. I get to rot alone in my room because I'm disgusting. After being a tourist in her life for three months, I don't know how to go back to my shitty ugly troon failure life after seeing how wonderful a pretty girl's life is. Every day I just go back and stare at our old chats wishing I could've been normal. I'd give anything just to look like her.What a beautiful life I could've had if I had puberty blockers like her. It was over by the time I turned 11.
>>42565917Well I hope she treats you well
>>42565917blah blah blah enough creepy BPD pining and longing and “woe is me”, just tell us what you did to this poor girl you monster
im sorry
>>42565917>leading her to spend time in tttt spaceslol this one line reveals how weirdly manipulative this thread is. the concept of someone blowing your friendship up then posting their BPD pining about you on a board they know you browse
>>42565917So now youre a massive gigahon who can never pass or revert male puberty, and now you also lost your friend are lonely, wtf nigga
>>42565917>Because of my BPDlets be real you had it coming
>>42565917why did u have a friendship collapse? over what reason? u just kind of vaguely said its cuz of looks. but why did she end the relationship with u?
>>42567908Not bc of looks, that's just what makes me so sad. I was weird and obsessed with her (not like stalker or anything just too attached) and always wanted to spend time with her so I could be a tourist in her world. Eventually I got mad she wouldn't pay enough attention to me and ranted about her like a schizo in a discord (not by name or anything but she could tell) that she eventually joined. It's more that I just can't be normal around (basically) cis girls that is so upsetting to me. I wish I could scoop the male neurons out of my brain
>>42568580wow. so u scared her off.
>>42567131she doesn't use the board I mean like edgy trans places
