looking back on everything, i don’t think that i have ever trusted you enough to let my guard down

I only want friends if they actually show interest in me and put in effort to talk with me or spend time with me, but everybody who does that is exhausting or makes me uncomfortable. I know it makes me an asshole, but I don't know how to change it.

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>>42646809
this seems made by me
>>42646828
this seems like it could be about me

i stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

I'm so sorry but I really want to fuck your girlfriend.

>>42646809
I made a cool video revealing the truth about my impotence, but I felt a bit guilty after sharing it.
However, seeing melties cry like babies over it made it funnier and strengthened my view that being penisless is being inferior.

>>42646809
After things ended with us my mental health has improved dramatically . Ive cried more than once but now i just feel bad that things didnt end sooner. We were never meant to meet/talk or be together in any way.

>>42646809

i wish i was still in contact with you. i wonder how you are some times and i hope that you are doing ok. i know that ur on here and youll probably see this. i think about telling you everything ive done since we last spoke and how much ive changed. i really hope you arent dead.

cameron come back bro i promise i wont ghost you or leak your discord username this time

1) I fucked your girlfriend because you're a narcissistic moralfag with no real values who only uses morality to shame people into doing what you want and aligning with your insecurities. You are a burden but I don't even have it in me to hate you. At least not for very long. I miss you lol
2) I miss you the most. I carved your name into my arm, thank fuck it's a common name. When I'm out I tend to get overwhelmed by things that remind me of you and I have to go home to cry about it. Also I got all of your underage nudes removed from where they were posted, don't think about how or how I knew. I'm an idiot for not telling you this when I had a chance in person.

I can never remove the things I’ve masturbated to from my record. Permanently, I am a horrible person. To this day I haven’t stopped, but I’m getting closer. Even then, when I’m clean I won’t be “clean.” I disgust myself knowing I’ve ever been aroused for that sort of thing. I pride myself on my morals. It doesn’t matter. I’m disgusting. I’m corrupted. I’ve disgraced the things I’m meant to care about, love, and protect. Life is sacred and shouldn’t be subjected to abuse. Fuck my life.

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>>42646809
I have couple things I can say..

1 := I have many enemies because I would usually do something to piss somebody off. Frankly mending the situation is more work than they are worth to me. Lot the rumors about me completely made up or taking things severely out of context. In a lot of my antics could be explained easily if anyone actually asked be about it. I have days where I don't want to talk to people, and I tend to ask very grumpy, overly mean, and reserved. I've been this way since middle school. I might be bipolar or BPD since it runs in my family, I might just be asshole.

2 := I don't really believe in anything politically, socially, spiritually, and I feel empty a lot of the time. so I feel like I always have to make things interesting. My true beliefs are kept close to my heart, and never really shared. Lot of the shit I spew out are funny ear worms I got from /pol/ that make me laugh, no actual belief.

3 := I actually hate cis-women, unironically. My mother is psychopath, who was emotionally abusive who would use mind games and force religion and politics down my throat. Most of the cis-women in my life has done some emotional damage to me.

4 := I lie to my therapist since as a young boy, I was punched in the face by my father when I told them that I was suicidal.

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>>42646809
I miss everyone I know, I just wish that I wasn't an annoying little prick who keep cutting everyone off, and it's not even my fault, to be honest, I don't want to frustrate people contacting me, but as always circumstances that's beyond my controls, when your gamete donor chases you across province lines and cooperate with the police to empower them to look inside your bank statements, it's just time before I got caught. I just wish I was smuggled out of this wretched country. I am sorry for being useless. I hope. someone will see this. Because of the Discord fiasco I am waiting for the fallout to see where people flock before daring to reestablish contact all ever again, sorry. It's technically not my fault yet I am the one who hurt the most by it.
t. SEAnig

I think your girlfriend probably broke up with you because you cheated on her and lied to her and you lied about me the same way you lied about her, and im starting to suspect maybe alot of your other exes especially after the way you looked at me when you pressured me into that stuff but cant comprehend that and only see yourself as the victim but I still miss you.

And the worst part is I dont hate you at all I think you were just unstable and genuinely didn't realize how much you pressured me bit I trusted you and I still miss you so very much that if you ever just talked to me I would be so happy to forgive everything and just go on a walk together again

But like after the way you talked to me last im not going to reach out until you are willing because I cant keep trying to fix things while you just shut down and hide it hurts me too much

>>42650282
back then I would say that someone like Alysa Liu would be spit ugly, but I always forgot the most important thing.
If I was born as her inheriting her supposedly "ugliness", I would still be enabled to achieve my best (and bonus of being normal, I suppose), not having my wings constantly clipped because the whims of elders drunk of Confucianism.
I found Alysa Liu on reddit/r/enshittification/comments/1r2to9g
then got compelled to write this post, go figure, sigh, everything I would burn for a chance of being normal.
t. SEAnig

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>>42650384
forgot picture lol

>>42646809
I'm married (husband and a kid) but I have obsession with cute trans boys. I don't know do I wish I was one or what.. my husband has told me that he would still be with me if I was a man but I feel its too late

I think I like a girl but I'm pretty sure she's more into guys and I also don't want to be like a wedge between her best friend who she's really close and strong with.

>>42646809
laika please come back,, i’m sorry for being so clingy

I love you more than anything, and dating you is my greatest treasure. It kills me everyday I can't always touch you, and we're so far apart sometimes because you work in another country. You are the reason I keep going, the idea we will make love again when you're back gives me life. You saved from my shit life, you're my soulmate, and my knight in shining armor. I'm crying writing this because I wish I could feel your touch again. It's unfair I could have so many men here, but you are the only one I want.

>>42646809
i hope we can stay friends after everything
i'm scared of that feeling in the back of my mind that maybe one day he'll see me differently and give me a chance
but i just want my friend back
i hope i can manage when we start talking again

>>42646809
im scared to actually put any effort into transitioning

My boyfriend of 12 years just doesn’t talk to me I feel like hes a brick wall, I feel like I’ve wasted so much of my life for him to ignore me like this.

>>42650396
>but I feel its too late
It's never too late. If you have an understanding spouse, just do it.
I got a nervous breakdown in '24 and blurted that I want to troon out expecting my wife to go insane or chastize me for being a freak. She instead chastized me for repping. Now we sometimes get confused for lesbians on the street.
t. also have kids

>>42646809
I wish we could’ve stayed as friends at least…

I wasted my time and yours. We're not meant to be. If you read this I want you to know I'm sorry. Truth be told, it was lust not love. Wishing you well, Monika.

I hate how vauge these all are i keep reading them wondering if its you

>>42650263
Fixing things between people you hurt is usually way easier then you think. its mostly just the discomfort of actually doing it but if you just apologize and treat them normally thats usually literally all there is. I used to feel like I was always ruining things with everyone until I realized they where more then willing to let me back into there lives I was just hiding from everyone out of guilt and my absence was hurting them more then anything I did
Who knows if you just reached out youd be surprised how little effort it takes it mostly just the anxiety before sending that message but trust me if you dont actually confront it it'll just keep getting worse and worse

I'm probably a terrible person no matter what excuses I give myself but I dont really care.

>>42646809
I'm talking to a new transgirl who seems realitively like she could have a healthy relationship with me, but I still pine for my bpd trans ex who hurt me.

I'm going to try to stay with her because I know the pining comes more from a trauma bond than anything resembling healthy love.

>>42646809
my best friend is going to busy all of tomorrow with valentines and i already know im going to spiral if i cant distract myself enough

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>>42651593
> Frankly mending the situation is more work than they are worth to me.

i wish i could be in love with you
it's not stopping me, but i know i can never really be yours
i feel so guilty

Sorry for my confusion
Do you mean that you just dont care?

we were only together for a short while but i'll never forget you, i'm sorry i did that to you, i just didn't want to lead you on. you didn't do anything wrong, you loved with all your heart, i feel evil for not being able to love you all the same. things moved too fast, i got so scared of the responsibility, the way you reacted after i told you... it made me feel good about what i did. it's not your fault though, it's out of your control, i didn't want to pretend on valentines - that would be such a cruel lie. we have no form of contact anymore, i think you honestly have quite the explosive history, i think you'll be okay but i'll still keep you in my mind.

I dont know who this is and I dont know if you know who I am.
But if you are who I think you are then there are two things you need to hear.
1: we don't talk because you said you needed space and time and I wanted to respect that boundary so I have been not because I never want to hear from you again but because I have always wanted to fix things and I have always tried to respect your boundaries.
2: what we were was a mistake. And thats okay. I felt really strongly about you and it felt amazing but it was too much and I dont feel that way at all anymore finally. I always wanted to grow and make more friends but my feelings for you just got in the way of our friendship and I honestly cant say there wasn't a small part of me that was happy things could go back. I loved you and i will never hate you for not feeling the same way and after all this time and how hurt I fell i still want you to know you weren't evil for not feeling the same.
But our time together was nothing a blip and its not what I want either of us to remember i want to remember our friendship because that was real and meaningful.
3: if you care about me at all if you truly care I need you to show me the respect to say this to my face. Even just to say goodbye I need you to treat me like a physical person not text on a screen I need one last real memory at least.
and lastly 4:
If you hide. If you chose not to say goodbye like a coward im sorry to say that and I never hear from you again then you at least need to know that I will always be there for you if you ever need it. I made a promise and I keep my promises. No matter what as long as I am alive you will always have at least one extra safety net and it doesn't matter when or where or why. Even if we haven't spoken in a long long time. I will always answer that call should you ever make it.
But please at least say it to my face, at least so I can know this was you.

If you are who I think you are at least say goodbye to me like a person and not a thing on a screen just let me feel like a person in that moment.

My friend about a month ago sent me some concerning messages on discord and blocked me and I had presumed she killed herself. But I checked back on my alt that I used to try and add her and saw in the friend request field that her pfp was changing. So she just blocked me for no apparent reason. The only thing I can think I did was get a boyfriend so I would end up being more attached to him instead of her but that's nothing to ruin a friendship over I guess. Maybe I'm just that unlikable and not worth being friends with for longer than a few months.
If (You)'re reading this, I'm not mad at you but I wish you'd just said you didn't want to be friends.

bump

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>>42646809
i want to go back and explode on them again i want them to know every single fucking way they hurt me because they FUCKING FORGOT ALL OF IT and have what they did haunt them for the rest of their life. its horrible this piece of utter shit just keeps going on thinking that they are even remotely a good person when i was literally their emotional carer and at one point physical carer and i got nothing back and they threw me away when it all got to me. but the better part about this is is that i know theyre a horrible person and because of that slowly more and more people will hate them and their retarded victim complex and eventually it will consume them and their entire life will forever be in shambles because they cant face the reality that maybe sometimes they arent the victim and theyve actually done wrong.

>>42651503
Right

>>42650018
>>42650040
Who r u cunts

>>42646809
I hurt a man, a man who loved me very much, I called him dad and I was his estrogenized son lol. I just, wish I said goodbye properly. I was stupid, afraid you’d lose interest in me so I unadded you and we never talked again. I have an irl boyfriend now, but I still miss you everyday, dad. You saved me from doing so much worse to myself. Sorry I’m a dumb passoid who hates herself and not the twink you deserve to love.
-Love, F.

>>42655710
Same anon, I wish I could go back and not act like I forgave them because of a retarded fawn response on my part because I was so desperate for any accountability that I took a "maybe I could of done a little better" as an acceptable apology.

I hope their BPD consumes them into a pit of infinite suffering. That when they stop looking hot because age comes for us all that the loss of all meaningful relationships finally comes and gets them.

meet a girl on here
she's a bit slow at first, assume she's on the spectrum
we get to know each other. she says she's been tested and isnt on the spectrum, but she def seems like it
get to know her more
realize she is genuienly a bit slow in the head. and also quite airheaded
one time ask her to send me a nude
she does it, no questions asked
at first i try to talk dirty to her but she questions it which confuses me
days later ask again for her to send a nude
she does it again
ask her why
"idk i trust u"
get her to tell me her address
start to buy her stuff off amazon. panties, dresses, chastity cage, plugs, etc.
she wears them exactly as I tell her to without any questions
ask her why she does that
"idk i like u"
realize our conversations are one sided
admit that I like her because she's stupid
"idk what u mean i am just like this, I'm happy you like me"
slowly escalate things. make her spend the whole day caged, spend time plugged up, wear panties only instead of normal underwear
escalate further
make her wear the plug and cage outside. make her piss in the woods while squatting and bouncing like a perv
make her slap her little thing while insulting herself
the thing is, i realize she is kind of retarded. and she admitted she didnt even go to high school and just stayed home. she lives a few states away from me, i want to visit her but i realize that if I date her I'll just have to take care of her. but for some reason the idea that she'll start listening to someone else angers me. what do

>>42655912
Have you considered maybe you would be happier if you took some responsibilities and some risks.

Do it, groom the retarded girl.

>>42655912
WTF man. I want a girl like this. Every girl I meet is all about empowerment and nonsense. I want a girl who is like that. Too bad I never meet any of them on here.

>>42656004
Yes because if I know anything about 4chan trannies its that they are corrupted by feminism.

Whoever they were, just let them go.
Ex lover, best friend, whatever. It doesn't matter now.
Let them go and move on. Nobody is worth the heartache.

All of you here, desperately hoping to reach someone.
This message is for you. This is your sign.

They didn't want you in their life. They abandoned you.
It's time to abandon the version of them you're holding onto.
It doesn't exist anymore. Even if they came back it wouldn't be the same.
Whoever your person was, they can go fuck themselves.
It's time for you to stop torturing yourself.

>>42656023
That's not what I meant. I meant the way that dude is describing it. A girl who is a bit retarded and doesn't know any better. I'd love that girl and take care of her for sure.

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>>42652082
Why do i feel like this is abt me lol

>>42655912
>>42655953
>>42656004
You are all fucking vile and twisted in the head.
Do everyone a favor and blow your heads off, fucking disgusting groomers.

>>42655912
she deserves a kinder person than you

>>42655953
she's only 2 years younger than me. our age gap isnt that wide, but she's just a bit slow. i really do love her tho. i like talking to her.

>>42656188
why? im nice to her. i spend a lot of time with her and give her my attention

I wish you could have loved me the way I loved you.

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In a server with other girls and they are genuinely really nice people but I've got myself thinking bad things/mean comments in my head about them because they doom so much. Deep down I know they have the right to but the fact they actually look like girls and I don't really get me mad + makes me cry. I don't liking these things tho, makes me feel like shit and doesn't help me either. My hrt is the earliest there so maybe I should shut the fuck up and stop hugboxxing only because I think they look nicer than me, even tho they aren't perfect

I don't know why I tortured myself day and night over losing you after all this time
You belong in a zoo you fucking animal

>>42646809
I really like you. Knowing that you've gone and moved away, I feel happy for you but it makes me sad to hear about you having fun without me. When you told me you got a girlfriend it stung, both reminding me of what I lack, and seeing someone take you away from me. I hope I can see you soon again one day.

>>42658925
>>42655710
>>42655871
wish i wrote these, however
>>42656042
this is what I need to internalize though, ur 100% right

>>42652876
you were supposed to forget about me
that was my final gift to you
dont throw it away

>>42646809
i sa'd a pooner in grade 10 and he said he was gonna call me out so then i used the rumours i heard abt him saing other students and darvo'd him and said i only sa'd him to show him how i felt when he did it to me. it worked and he went kinda crazy but it also ruined my rep anyways cus i sa'd 2 other ppll so i lost a bunch of friends. i regret not telling him i had this info b4 he told ppl. that way id force his silence
anyways i was in the right cus he sa'd like 10 ppl lmao

>>42646828
I know, me too.

>>42652082
>i didn't want to pretend on valentines - that would be such a cruel lie.
I guess that's why she broke up with me a few days before it when we met, it confirmed that it really wasn't going to work

>>42659698
you both are a waste of cells

>>42659933
yeah im aware im a bad person but i have self preservation and the will to change unlike him lool he tried kms like 3 times. also hes one of those trans man femboys
oh and i only ever gropped ppl while he actually raped someone once with the help of his bf

>>42646809
I managed to mess up something that was going as good as it could be. Ended up bringing past trauma to that person without realising and neither of us felt ok with spending valentines together afterwards. I was honest with them on that part and we decided it would be best to part ways after. I did end up prepping too much stuff for them as we were going to have dinner and also i ended up buying some cute bunny plush thingie wich i cant even return because my dumbass refused the receit as i was sure there was nothing that could go wrong and i was just looking forward to spending this day with them.I will most likely just donate it but fuck it feels bad .... i will need way more time to heal than i initially thought. I am sad that i will be spending yet another valentines alone but that is fine as i do deserve it, i have copious amounts of hash so this valentines shall be spent getting high and playing meowgenics alone in my room

>>42656196
>why? im nice to her. i spend a lot of time with her and give her my attention
ok well that's a little better. but stop making her do weird things at her expense for your pleasure it's demeaning
let her have her dignity at least anon

I had another dream about her. And now she's on my mind again.
Does this ever actually fucking end? It's been years. I thought this would fade by now.
She's not even that special. Looking back, she was just an annoying retard.
I don't even know why I liked her so much.
Gonna apply for a lobotomy I stg...
>>42660043
I dunno anon, from the way it was written it seemed like she kinda jumped at the chance to do these things. Even those with special needs have boundaries. I don't think this is abuse, I think it's just a non-conventional and exploratory relationship.
But there's no point in just theorizing about that, the guy who posted it should just have a conversation with her about it.
Make sure that she feels her boundaries are respected, that she doesn't feel pressured and isn't doing anything she doesn't want to do.
But otherwise? If he's into it, and she's into it, and they're into each other and having a good time, everything's A-OK.

The moment I saw you I knew I needed you, but I was too scared and needed to keep us hidden, secret.
The first time we kissed, instead of telling you that was awesome, I told you not to tell anyone.
That first time, alone in your bedroom, I got dressed when we were done, and left you alone, when I should have had the courage to stay and be with you.
When I called, you answered. When you called, I made excuses.
You tried, countless times, to reach me. I kept my distance and stayed cold.
When my Dad left, you held me together, even though I had given you every reason not to bother anymore.
And then we got caught. I got sent to the hospital for 6 months, you got sent to Missouri to live with your Aunt.
I see your socials. It looks like your happy, and I'm happy for you. You have a beautiful family.
And I still don't have the courage to say what I should, which is that I loved you, and I was too dumb to know better, and to have the courage to be what I am.
You'll always be my Valentine

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>>42646809
0 chance he'll see this.

i can't stop thinking about you even tho its been so long. you ruined other men for me because none of them can compare to you. i miss how safe you made me feel and how protective you are. i miss your handsome smile and i miss feeling small walking next to you. it felt surreal knowing that someone like you liked me. i couldn't believe it at first.

i wish i could have apologized for acting so weird and obsessive. you are so nice and you didn't deserve that. i started crying when i heard you left norway even tho i shouldn't have. i can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard i try. thank you for the happy memories you gave me. i hope you get a wife and kids and never have to deal with crazy trannies like me again. miss you miss you miss you

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I'll forever be alone. I have so many weird thoughts about relationships, I think I may be schizo about em sometimes. I'm sorry for ghosting, I don't trust you. I don't trust myself. I'm so alone

relationships seem exhausting and retarded (from the outside. not like i'd know)
maybe it's good i'm alone today.
suicide can be a good thing

>>42646809
Hai
I really miss you
I'm sorry you had to put up with me
I'm sorry I was so stupid to believe I could be good enough to be with you forever
I'm sorry I find it hard to accept
Love is really powerful and I hate how attached to you I am
I can't hate you because thats just impossible for me
I will always love you
forever
I meant it when i said it
I don't think i will ever stop loving you
i was really ready to be with you forever but yeah sorry you have every right to choose your own path in life, i want you to be happy
you made the right choice to leave me
i wouldve just dragged u down, or at the least i wouldnt have added anything valuable to your life and growth as a person
i'm sorry
your still so pretty to me
god im sorry i still love you thats so stupid i hate that im like this
i miss you so much
we only had each other for a few months
but those were the best months of my entire life
i was never happier than i was then
with you
i miss you
im sorry
im sorry if you watching me spiral after the breakup has affected you
i dont mean to hurt you
my emotions are just so strong
love is so strong of an emotion im sorry i was really really really really ready to be with you forever im sorry im so attached so stupidly
sorry
i miss you so much
i love u

>>42661914
>
im scared to kill myself because i dont want that to weigh on ur conscience forever
its not directly because of you
well yes the breakup itself did send me spiraling
but i want to die out of self hatred more than anything im sorry i will always be a nasty memory for you
but i was always bound to end up killing myself and that was just like the final kicker kinda
im sorry we met
im sorry
u had to know me
sorry
im just an idiot

do u talk about me with ur friends in college
do u think about me ever
do u miss me at all
i know for sure ur better off without me
do u miss the time we spent together
is that all just horrible tainted memories now
did you ever even love me at all or did you just say you loved me to make me happy
was any of it real
i want to believe you because i did feel real true love come from you
i felt loved by you more than anyone
but i dont know
theres so many factors
we were both in an extreme transitionary period
but god
wow its crazy how something that only lasted a couple months can completely screw up my whole life
and again its not your fault, im destroying myself because i cant regulate my own emotions and every mistake i ever make just builds and builds as guilt weighing down on me
i rlly love you
i rlly miss you
youre an amazing person youre full of love of whimsy and ur music is beautiful
im sorry i didnt listen to your music sooner
another one of my faults, one of my biggest that haunts me alot
im stupid
ur 10,000% better off without me
i absolutely did NOT deserve someone as amazing as you
i did not deserve u at all i shouldnt be so fucked up over things ending like it makes perfect reasonable sense on paper
idk its my first time posting on one of these types of boards ive never just let my heart pour out
honestly i feel maybe better idk maybe worse
i feel a deep deep sadness
and a hole in my heart that will never go away

when i kill myself im going to text you to specify its NOT your fault, i just cant live with myself

Thinking about you having feelings for someone else still makes me panic inside. Logically I feel like that's an inevitability, so it's disturbing to me that I still have such a powerful emotional response to it after all this time. I should probably reflect on this more.

The last time we spent time together I realized I've never felt so peaceful and connected with somebody in my life. I wish I could tell you my feelings on valentine's day but I don't wanna do it over text and potentially scare you away. I hope you feel the same towards me as I do for you when I tell you that I love you the next time we meet.

Turning 31 and I've never kissed anyone

>>42663466
lmao
what a loser

>>42655845
ur not who im looking for

I know that i will probably never get to meet you irl or date you because im ugly and we live really far apart but i love you so so much.

>>42646809
Helaas, Confessgenkaas

I dated a guy online for 2 months. My only experience with romance in my entire life. It was also the best 2 months of my life. For the first time I didn’t feel like a freak. I could workout longer, I woke up smiling because I finally felt loved. He left me out of nowhere without saying anything. Its very embarrassing to admit but I’d take him back in a heartbeat if he messaged me. The only time in my life I’ve been open to someone and not been laughed at. Since then I’ve spent every night imagining what it feels like to hold someone’s hand. What it feels like for someone to accept me for who I am and not view me as a burden. I try to workout and get my shit together so I don’t feel totally pathetic but I feel like if I ever try to date another person they’ll find out how pathetic I am and leave. I don’t want false hope anymore, I think about suicide to much but the idea of a warm hug from someone I’m in love with keeps me going.

I don’t care if its a guy or a girl, I just want to feel like a complete human being again rather than being defined by waking up, working, studying, working out, and stress eating. God even thinking about hold hands or kissing someone makes me smirk, but then I remember this is just imagination and I don’t know what it actually feels like and I get sad. I’m a grown man, this is pathetic.

>>42665293
Makes you wonder if you actually miss the person, or just the feeling they gave you, doesn't it?
Like life was actually worth living for a brief period of time.
And once you've tasted that, how do you go back to what it was before?
It's like The Giver if they took everything but the memories away after letting you experience it for a little wile.

>>42665414
I think I miss the person, it was the first time I could talk about my dorky interests with someone and they’d actually engage. I loved him so much I’d listen to him talk about the dorky stuff he was into for hours. Whenever I would go hard in my work outs I’d mutter his name to myself in order to get motivated. I was in love (or at least I think I was). Not to get super nsfw in a thread like this but we’d talk sexually and I was enthralled, everything was so intimate despite this being an online relationship. I feel uncertain if I’ll ever fall in love like that again. I still say his name to myself from time to time just so i can remember. I wish I didn’t delete my discord so that I can look back on those messages. I guess that would be a little obsessive if I did that…

>>42665552
No, you did the right thing. I blocked the person I was in love with. Every now and then I catch myself thinking, 'what if', 'what if', but really if I ever did meet them again it would just bring more pain, open me up to being hurt by them again and after that first time, I'm good.

I would love to say 'you will fall in love again', but in truth I can't say that. I haven't loved anybody since her. It is what it is. You just have to find other ways to be happy.

>>42665594
I’ve been trying to find something else to make me happy for about a year now. I get so frustrated because nothing makes me feel whole like he did. I’m going to college but I’m not very smart, and when I do well in class I don’t feel joy. When I get paid I don’t feel very good about myself either. My mind tells me I should go to therapy and get medicated but I just can’t bring myself to be vulnerable around another person. I feel like I’m in a constant state of shame and embarrassment.

I hate my family with a burning passion. I hate 99% of mental health workers. I think the general public consists of mostly horrendously unethical people who alienate everyone around them who can't fit their mold, and I am absolutely terrified of the future.

All of the above have made me feel mind raped my whole life and I'm just another example of someone who had so much potential, started out strong, and got burnt out/had a nervous breakdown and then dropped off of planet earth. I now HATE going outside and feel extremely overstimulated and my nervous system explodes any time I have to talk to people for more than 5 minutes. Everywhere I went growing up, all the adults around me pushed me through the cracks and then villanised me for it later on. I must confess that I don't give a single flying fuck about anyone else's tragedies until they prove to me they are safe. Most people would probably be better off of they were forced to learn what It feels like to be alienated and suicidal.

>>42659667
Okay, if you're really sure. But I'll remember you fondly anyways and you were a good friend to me.
I'm also very grateful for the gift you mailed me (just figured I should say it again). I hope you have a good life.

>>42659667
the gift would be the good memories, not erasing them, idiot
istg some of you girls need the dumbich slapped out of you

>>42647298
AGP

>>42650018
HSTS

>>42650040
AGP

>>42661687
HSTS

>>42661789
HSTS BPD

another evening fantasizing about my friend

>>42667334
Same oomfie

>>42667334
im such an idiot

I want my darling back

>>42668025
Go, Honey. Go back to your secret spot behind the windmill. He's waiting for you there!

>>42668036
My darling is a lady

>>42661591
jesus anon that's rough
i hope one day you can at least make amends with them, maybe they deserve that much

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i wish i didn't tell you how i felt about you
i wish i was strong enough to keep my feelings buried
i wish i could've stayed friends with you
i hope i didn't hurt you when i told you all at once
i hope you don't resent me
you deserved better than that

you say you want to stay friends and reconnect soon but i feel like you're just being nice
maybe you just want to feel less guilty for turning me down
but you didn't do anything wrong
i don't blame you for liking real girls

but i miss our daily rituals
i miss our games
i miss seeing your good morning texts
i miss never feeling alone
i miss how safe and sound you made me feel
i miss mattering to you

even if only as just a friend

why did you abandon me like that? we could've been happy. now we both just feel pathetic and like we wasted time.

it is so very cold and alone today.

i wish it wasnt.

>>42666272
fuck u faggot

>>42646809
i love him more than i ever loved u
i was made in a lab for him

>>42669389
i just feel so hurt and broken now. i wish i could go back but i know we cant, not really. i wish so very desperately that things were different.

>>42669488
How did it wind up this way?

>>42669548
:( a lot of things. i was too pathetic. probably my fault.

Whenever I get close to people, I end up hurting them. I just wish I could be seen as more than just an object, just a friend who doesn't need to reciprocate their damn romantic feelings.

>>42669672
Some people are easy to fall for. Sounds like you are one of them. It's a blessing and a curse, no?

>>42669689
For those who can't feel anything, it's just a curse.

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ok i confess. i have a huge crush on someone at my work and they used to smile at me when i walked in but i think i did something wrong. idk one time i walked passed them and they smiled and i sorta smiled back but also blushed and looked down and away and i was high on that for like a week but now they dont smile at me and i think i scared them cause im moided as fuck and old and they are small and cute. or maybe they hate me now because i didn't introduce myself and they were giving me a chance and expected me to because of my appearance and since i didn't they think i hate them and am not interested. oh also im pretty sure they are boymoding and/or recently came out because of the way they wear their uniform. but i have no idea how to approach that plus im old and creepy and its probably a bad idea anyway because if they liked me before they wont like where im headed cause theyres nofucking way they clocked me as a (no longer)repper. i stg they actually reverse direction doing their rounds when im in the direction their headed now. i will not initiate i refuse and besides its all in my head and they dont even notice me and it would be weird as fuck if i said anything im probably 0 years older than them and they probably arent even transitioning and are just an cute af autist literally like that femboy pipeline meme tho and her hair and smile and glasses are so damn cute it makes me dizzy. but theres like a one in a billion chance they see this post and says hi to me first and also limerence is totally healthy if you are aware you are projecting and dont really know the person so its okay and perfectly fine right??

i wanted to get the last word and block before you had the chance to block me. you never knew how much you meant to me. i wish i was able to tell you properly how much i hate you. every day i keep looking over, hoping you've added me, i would go through all of that again just to be friends with you for a little while

>>42646809
I honestly just feel dead inside and like I've been using you and misleading you for this entire time and now I'm too afraid to try to distance myself from you because I don't know what you'll do even though I know I'm bad for you and that I don't treat you right, I'm sorry I wish I was better

I am not supposed to be feeling things but I do. I finally found a guy I didn't have to fake orgasms for... I didn't think that would happen. Every time we fuck I find myself becoming more attracted. I feel happier, I feel more confident and I feel like I want him there every day. And I hate that I can't have that because I never knew that I wanted it until I got a taste. But it's ok I'm very happy with where I'm at... I'm just really under his spell

>>42671800
>finally found a guy I didn't have to fake orgasms for
Wtf why Is a cishet girl posting here /LGBT/ is not a place for straight women to talk about their men problems

I asked her to go to an aquarium with me and it makes me cringe whenever I think about it.

>>42671915
I did this too, why does it make you cringe

>>42671556
Why would you keep up the charade if you're just going to hurt them worse later?

>>42671919
Because everyone knows about the yuri aquarium meme and she very obviously has had zero interest in that kind of relationship with me for a long time. I was stupid to even bring it up even though I wouldn't say I specifically had romantic intentions but I think it would obviously be interpreted that way.

>>42655912
Make her yours.

i think you're a manipulative liar but i still love parts of you so much
i know i wasn't tactful at the end but the way you left was gross and broke my heart
gonna hurt for a long time, wish we could be friends but that wouldn't work

>>42671812
you haven't met the trannies that really aren't into sex

>>42671944
>Because everyone knows about the yuri aquarium meme
the what
I just wanted to go to an aqurium with a girl and i'm a chaser

Forgive me Mother but I have nothing to confess for I am without sin

>>42671998
Aquariums are often used in anime for dates between women. Or at least women are often depicted spending time together on aquariums and the fanbases interpret those scenes as dates. That's why it was cringe, maybe not for you if you're a man, but for me absolutely. I wasn't really thinking about how the invitation might be interpreted.

>>42672017
ah that's cute, thank you for telling me, I didn't know that, I hope you can find someone to go to one with though, I'm still looking

>>42671812
I am not cishet. I'm trans.

>>42646809
One time they did see my message
Wasnt a fun convo

stupid me not thinking quick enough. then he told you and you both agreed. stupid me for not admitting i liked girls, to save him through the pain. I didnt process my fondness for you because its terrifying to admit that i didnt think about my boyfriend the way i thought of you- i felt so inspired by you. i was so scared that you saw right through me, taking the words out of my mouth and reading them out before they were even a thought. i wish i was brave, spunky enough like you. to say how i felt with feeling.

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>>42672201
>saw my crush posting about his crush on here

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>>42672324
i just saw my ex posting here lol

My younger sister had an obsession with wearing my boxers and would swap them out for hers at really inconvenient times. One time I counted 7 pairs stolen in a single day. Weird that she ended up being cis and straight.

You make me feel things I haven't felt for anyone else in years, but I know it would never work out. I'm too much of a coward to follow you. I'll settle for sleeping with you soon and a picture of your tits.

Hey M,
Fuck you.

hey K, fuck you, you ruined my fucking life, I hope it's worse for you today, I want it bad for you today, I set a curse for you today

>>42672789
the odds that im the M youre talking about are astronomically low but reading this hurt anyway. i wish you'd say the name so every M that reads this doesn't worry about it.

>>42674553
Hey, at least I didn't put a curse on you like the K poster. They fucking HATE K, haha.

Anyway, if you see a random "Fuck you" in a thread like this and it actually hurts you, my question is this:
Why? Something is clearly weighing on your conscience.
Did you hurt someone?
I'm probably almost definitely not your person but down to talk about it. Least I can do after troubling you.

>>42672367
Better than never seeing them

fucking hate cissoids they need to die

I date trans women because the idea of romantic anal sex is foreign to both cis women and gay men for different reasons.

I just want to cum in butthole and look at my lover in the eyes as I kiss them passionately with my seed in there colon

>>42646809
confessgen is off-topic
>but its asking lgbt people
so its on-topic on /toy/ too because its made asking the board's userbase too right?

>>42655710
hi im back again i had a stress dream about them and im mad. i have moved on with my life but i still get flashbacks of this piece of shit sexually assaulting and harassing me etc and it hurts. i feel like a cornered animal each time. they passed by my house (they dont know i live there) a while back while talking and i really badly wanted to just scream all of that shit they did to me still haunts me and probably will forever considering i spent nearly 20 years as their emotional garbage dump lol. theyll never apologize and i live with that just fine because lord knows i'll never apologize to them ever again either

>>42676849
Shut the fuck up, go post this under every off topic /pol/ raid thread

if you knocked on my door or called me and needed money or a place to stay I'd do my best to help you, but I'd never forgive you or trust you again

>>42677789
what did they do anon

>>42677877
they weren't honest

>>42677893
can u elaborate
im rlly hoping this isnt abt me i may or may not have fucked up rlly badly i was sorta out of it and bored and said a bunch of stuff i rlly sholdnt have

>>42677924
I'm venting about multiple people who haven't been in my life for years - it's not you, and if it is, then you need to get the fuck over it

>>42677929
oh okay nevermind sorry for bothering u i hope things get better for you

bump

>>42674509
I'm sorry

>>42646828
i know, im sorry.

>>42672789
sorry