drugs editionquestions:>do you use drugs to cope with the tranny thoughts (legal, illegal, prescribed, w/e) and if so what do you take>are you using right nowprev >>42609123
>>42667083>do you use drugs to cope with the tranny thoughts (legal, illegal, prescribed, w/e) and if so what do you takeEstrogen pills.
Recreational and psychiatric drugs both failed me. I take a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic because I am bipolar but it does fuck all for tranny thoughts. Antidepressants didn't work either. Nor did alcohol, cannabis, or psychedelics (weed and psychedelics made them worse). I value my life too much to do any harder drugs. I'm done repping anyways, I've got consults for HRT and laser lined up. I'll move over to the manmoder thread soon.
take ur pills retards being a perma manmoder/cis man on hrt is a thing you can just do
>>42667083I hate the feeling and state of being high, so no.
you do not need estrogen pills to be happy!you just need to embrace your homosexuality + inner behavioral femininity!
>>42667083being high works until it doesnt, then you just feel sick at yourself for wasting your life away with drugs but now your life is even emptier and you dont want to stop because it means facing hell.
>>42667083Don't do kratom it only works for couple months and by then you're hooked like its smack or crank and since its legal people think you're a weirdo for being an addict over it
Working out actually feels good. You don't need to adopt a gymbro persona just do a few minutes of HIIT in nature to improve your mental status.
>>42667261Working out made me want to troon more, not less.
How are people able to transition just because agp
i feel absolutely desperate today because im 29 and just facing the amount of time i wasted because of dysphoria kicking me while im down. i dont understand how anyone holds a job or goes to school when you feel like this. i began withdrawing around 19 and i couldnt get back up.
>>42667083nah i use work/creation to rep/dissociate. big shroom trip occasionally but they trigger trooning out impulses a lot of the time. flirting with troonsaster
>>42667448when it's terminal enough, it is what it is.I didn't want to rope. iwnbaw (or?) but estrogenizing improved things.
>>42667083weed, being high is so nice>>42667128desu it seems like that's what a lot of people here are doing anyway. not worth getting into the "what is a repper" pissing contest for the millionth time but i do think it's kinda interesting because i feel like not taking the pills gives me a chance to just be normal at some point whereas perma manmoding basically just posits you'll be miserable and closeted forever>>42667205eh i was able to quit after a couple of years, the high is usually just meh after awhilenever did the crazier extracts etc that are out nowadays though so idk
>>42667590>i feel like not taking the pills gives me a chance to just be normal at some pointnta but taking the pills gave me a chance to be normal.>whereas perma manmoding basically just posits you'll be miserable and closeted forevermentality issue.working for a giga feminine dude aesthetic. One year in, I don't even recognize my texts from November 2024.
>>42667623i take my pills and i just look like a man with womans skin. and i have to hide my chest. not sure if its worth it.
>>42667083alcohol but if i get too drunk i loop back into being dysphoric
>>42667590>what is a repperi would love to see matt walsh take this one on
>>42667691I took hrt but eventually detrooned so that I could date. I think it was work detrooning. I feel more comfortable just as a guy. It's easier too.
>>42667831ive never found it easy to be a guy, unless you just mean in the sense that being a tranny is even harder. which it is, i mean, i need all these surgeries i can never afford and have no plan to ever be able to afford. but i feel like giving up on it is like giving up on myself. i still cant conceive of a future for me as a guy. i never could.
>>42667691It's worth it for me. I look cuter, I feel better and no longer obsessed if putting this piece of clothing or that piece of clothing isn't maybe "too much".Now slowly learning make up. I just took the enby pill. Yolo.>>42667878You should take the enby pill too.We didn't choose to be born XY. But we can choose not to go through the humiliation ritual which is "social transitioning" and just be cute(r) estrognized males who at least sometimes enjoy life.
>>42667931ye i mean i do do that but i woke up today and my boobs hurt and i look in the mirror and see the same old moid face and im like jesus christ, why is this my life. but ive accepted it at this point.
>>42667931isn’t that just honmoding
i just watched isttg for the second time. Didn’t make me cry this time where as the first time i full on bawled. i think i’m cured.
>>42667958I don't she/her and don't have funny colors in my hair. Nor do the fag voice.I'm a feminine dude. People are nicer to me. Life is slooooowly getting better.
I feel like I can't even be into men
>>42666729T gel on your dick? What?
>>42668152Supposedly it halts/reverses your wiener shrinking on estrogen.
does it ever get better. i have been repping for 5 years now and i feel more depressed than i did when i was a stupid 18 yo who had friends who knew i was a troon and called me by my chosen name in secret even though they knew i couldn't transition.
>>42667878Its easier because its exhausting to try and be something else other than yourself
at my core i’m just a man who wishes he was a woman. not a woman who has to survive being a man
>>42668236It doesn't get better, no. If anything it gets harder the older you get, because you have the benefit of reflection and can look back to see how your misgivings were foolish and you've lived your life completely empty.
>>42668410Eh it can go either way. Inertia is a powerful force, and living a lie can have a lot of inertia behind it.
>>42668642:( i don't know i'm so scared
>>42668201If you're a repper why would that matter
>>42668410>exhausting to try and be something else other than yourselfskill issue
>>42667261It's really funny when you think you're over it and you were just being delusional, but then it comes back again and hits you like a truck out of nowhere
>>42668690I can only speak from my own experience anon, but I regret not going for it at your age.
>>42668718The anon being questioned is an HRT femboy.
>>42669037:( i kind of came out the other day to a friend but i'm really scared to say anything more, i didn't directly say it but he knows and i'm embaressed i don't want to be trans i hate it
>>42669065Nobody wants to be trans, we just want to be girls. If you've got the chance to live as one, I say go for it, but that's just me looking back on my life with regret.
>>42669239i might just do it i don't know :(
>>42669239Free will is male brained
>>42669272I used tarot cards to influence my decision to troon out.
I looked in the mirror and saw my grandmother's reflection. All i feel is grief now
>>42667623>nta but taking the pills gave me a chance to be normal.hm have been thinking more about this than i probably should. i do just feel really detached from everything which is probably bad and the pills would probably help that.otoh maybe i'm just so depressed that this feels like a nice excuse for my problems. like surely there's a world where i get better about fixing that and then i get to go be normal and don't think about myself so much
I wish I hadnt taken estrogen, after several years all its done is made my dick limp and give me breasts that just annoy me more than anything. I otherwise look the same, like a man, even after over a dozen laser sessions and waxing i still have beard shadow. I went on hrt out of desperation from dysphoria over features hrt cant do anything about, and all it did was give me a few new ones. I told myself Id kill myself if this failed but obviously I dont want to, fuck my past self for that. I dont know if I should just get top surgery and give up or keep going in this doomed timeline ive created. I guess it doesnt matter because either way its a bad ending.
>>42670484I look exactly like my grandma and her mom, they weren't very feminine though
haven't taken hrt for a while nownothing ever matters
>>42671787I'm proud of you! You are bucking the pressure!
https://litter.catbox.moe/6o8qvumhg805t828.pngIm new here do yall think i have a chance (23M)
>>42671787deflated saggy moobs and unexpected hair growth will come to you soon
>>42668152topical application to the testes is the same as applying it anywhere, but yeah that's the trend. That psuedoscience trans doctor people celebrate here recommends it but there's no magic penis zone with it's own isolated blood current that filters testosterone from reaching your androgen receptors lmao so just apply it wherever is comfortablerapehons just routinely spike their T
>>42672262i could need some hair growth on my head
>>42672450anonette....
I also detrooned because if you look at every trans woman posted here, they range from horrifically ugly to unpassing. None actually pass. I dont believe its possible to pass if you went through puberty. I look pretty damn cute as a guy. It's just the right decision.
>>42669449Fembrained.
i hate her so much i hate being a stupid fucking repper faggot I hate this stupid fucking website i hate this stupid fucking country i'm gonna kill myself
>>42671957I mean it's worth a try
>>42667083>>do you use drugs to cope with the tranny thoughts (legal, illegal, prescribed, w/e) and if so what do you takei take a lil bit of weed from time to time with another tranner so im not repressing, i take it cuz cant get e anymore for a while now cuz lost le job>>are you using right nowif my friends offers to smoke i go hangout i did quit cigs finally tho
>see cute t4t couple >cry for hours
I don't even think passing is mandatory. Who gives a fuck. I think lots of trans women pass beautifully and I'm glad to see some unable to pass but living a happy life true to themselves. My problem is that I'm miserable and unable to accept not passing.
>>42672622>I look pretty damn cute as a guy.Well, aren't you a lucky duck. I agree, though, that the chances of one truly passing are hilariously slim for most. Out of today's selections on r/transtimelines, these are the ones I think look the best, and even then, none are that great:>r/transtimelines/comments/1r498j6/sometimes_i_feel_like_hrt_is_changing_my_dna_15y/looks okay facially, especially considering they trimmed their brows, which a lot of troons ignore>r/transtimelines/comments/1r58uhv/14_months_hrt_life_saving/in a weird way passes as a solidly ugly woman, at least to me>r/transtimelines/comments/1r50es2/18_vs_29_on_and_off_hormones_for_a_decade_5_years/doesn't fully look right to me, long face with a certain uncanniness to it, though I'm still including because of how stark a contrast it is to the fedora-tipping jerkoff on the leftEvery other first-page post there sucks today, and even then, the first one's the only truly decent one in my eyes, and EVEN THEN, it's just their face, which is only one element of passing.
I can't troon out because I'll never be as pretty as my ex kms
>>42672884iktf dating a passing ffs tranny sent me into detrans repression so quickly
>>42664866Ftm repping just isn't the same psychology You're closer to rapehons in attitude ie too much like your birth gender
>>42671957You have potential.
>>42667083That store is directly across the street from the Harry Potter Store
I’m sober for now. I like liquor but I think I overdid it and I want to lose weight. Kratom is ok but it’s a shit drug. I found it too unwieldy to be additive. Marijuana is overrated and I don’t miss it, but it can be fun once in awhile.I drink a lot of coffee on weekends, but it’s more for forcing my adhd brain to function. I drink some low caffeine seltzer things on work days so I don’t feel like kermiting every morning
>>42673068even worse when it was the prettiest short luckshit everI don't even know what hurts worse, knowing I fumbled her like a fucking idiot, or that I'll never look nearly as feminine
>>42667448Nobody does, that is just a cultural myth made up by TERFs and the Christian right to justify transphobia. I’ve met real AGPs, and they just look and act like normal low-t males socially, because they don’t wanna take any risks that involve giving up their male privilege. At most they sound gay, but the moment they leave their bedroom or hotel, they instantly hide all their girl clothes as if their lives depend on it.Trust me, I would know, I’ve encountered at least 4 of these AGPs thus far looking for other women to be friends with, and only one of them looked/acted even remotely like a woman, and even he was scared to death of being forced to undergo SRS or taking HRT.
>>42673292Yeah, that’s one reason why I don’t like legal weed. Dispensaries tend to really attract transphobes for whatever reason.
It's really cool being such a timid and suggestible fucking idiot who just crumbles and gives up and doubts every single belief they hold
>>42673351You're right I should not exist
>>42672812Yes just only judging from the pics you linked. 1 looks fine from face only and only this angle. Many times I've seen people in passing pics and then from a slightly different angle you can tell they dont pass at all. from the selfie alone think they could pass, but only potentially.2. the body doesn't even pass slightly. And long face on asians tends to look masuline. They dont pass at all to me.3. doesnt pass at all. tranny angle selfie and even in that pic alone the neck and chin give it away.And those were the absolute best you picked out. Like most people think the chances of passing are extremely low, and I think that they are wrong. The chances of passing are orders of magnitude lower than you think. less than 0.05% and likely lower than that
>>42673357what the hell are you talking about, that's not even a NYS licensed dispensary it's just a random storefront selling sketchy kratom and CBD
>>42673374Even with the best-looking troons, if I was their coworker or something and someone else said "hey, did you know X is trans", I'd never feel surprised. There's always something unfortunately slightly off.
people misconflate identification and classification.the identity is the opposite. the classification is trans. you don't identify as trans. that's cis people acting discriminantly. they classify you as trans. you identify as a man or a woman. in the event that your identity is contrary to your sex designation at birth you're classified as trans. trans is the condition, not the identity.
>>42673369damn imagine if someone groomed you that'd be so scary bro
>>42673645I'm similar to that anon and my saddest moments I find myself wishing that I DID get groomed by a bunch of online trannies to transition like I was afraid would happen when I was a teen. At least then I wouldn't have been a repping coward even with all the horrors that would open me up to. Then I feel extremely guilty for wishing trauma on myself just as an excuse to divest myself of responsibility for my own fate.
>>42673796Very common desire here
>>42673817In an ironic twist I think the groups I DID fall in with, while I wouldn't call it grooming, were partially responsible for convincing me that my tranny desires were evil and that those who'd actually help me with this condition instead would take advantage of me. Kinda like someone who is a schizo falling in with anti-psychiatry groups and conspiracy theorists, these people just didn't have your best interests in mind.
I can't tell if I'm extremely addicted to kratom and keep relapsing whilst in denial, or if my life is just horrible and so I keep taking it even though I don't even like it. I spend all my money on it and just rot inside. I don't even like it, but I just want to poison myself and make the thoughts go away.
need to forcefem a short repper to feel better about my height
>>42674342How short are we talking
>>42674342i'm 5'6 pls
why even bother repressing if you're below 5'8
>>42674800because i have a giant fucking stupid piece of shit barrel chest and a chad face
>>42673547To be fair, we probably hyperfixate on trans women, especially their flaws. The only groups worse than us are chuds and troons themselves.Most normies don't probably care unless you're super obvious. Even if they're confused by a possible troon, they move on with their days. But the fixation...that's our curse.
>>42672746what happened anon
>>42667083take your HRT, retards
>>42675628Give me a reason to push the “get paid less” + “hated by society” button other than calling me a retard
>>42676913nahretard
>>42676920I think I would just be a retard just on e tho
>>42676966and?
>>42675628man, I just cant justify it
>>42675628But it won't make every man a woman?
need a tall repper to befriend and slowly force fem >t. chaser
>>42678429i need a psycho to blow my brains out
>>42673796>>42674800I actually believe in the opposite. I want to believe that people are sincere and that it wasn't just something they were coerced into.
>>42678687I'm not saying I think people were coerced. I'm saying that I, as a stupid cowardly repper, sometimes wish that someone had talked me into transitioning when I was younger. Not because my feelings aren't sincere or that I think others aren't, but because I am a coward and a fool and having someone there holding my hand and talking me into it would've lead me to a happier place. Then I feel guilty because you do here about people being taken advantage of that way to have bad things done to them. It's not "I think everyone was taken advantage of" but "I wish someone pushed me into doing what I had wanted to do but held off on because my 'friends' told me it was a Jewish psyop, even if that person DID have ulterior motives and want my nudes."
>>42678769>Jewish psyopnta but you Anglos are by default crazy with this.Like, why is this even an argument? Even as a teen?Who gives af even if it were a Jewish thing? It isn't, but let's assume it is. So what?
>>42678858I'd rather not get into it deep but most Anglo elites/rich are either Jewish or deeply intermarried/allied with Jewish families
>>42678887Even if that were true, so fucking what?Also, most Anglo elites these days are married to Brahmi Indians. You're all going niggerified anyway.Postponing or repressing your self-actualization over such reason is gigaretarded.
>>42678939Because I didn't want to fall for a trick 'meant to destroy white society' or make civilization worse by being an evil tranny pervert freak that was ruining everything for everyone. Denying my own feelings and self for society was the noble thing to do.>GigaretardedI did call myself a fool.
>>42679001>Denying my own feelings and self for society was the noble thing to doIt literally wasn't. And isn't.Iwnbaw but I hope the pink pills will help enough so I can enbycope or sth. Fuck this whole "noble" thing. Women have no responsibilities. I want that. Or something close to that.>I did call myself a fool.Fair enough.
>>42679037I was an idealist back then and had lost all my lefty friends from highschool to fall in with a bunch of edgelords from this site whose views lined up more with my family's (ultra fundie) so my friendgroup was a bit of an echochamber. I was eager to please and fit in and pretty much changed my views to satisfy them as much as possible. I can even remember specific chats on IRC from 12 years ago where I would say something mildly pro-LGBT and get shit on for it and they'd all start in about how gross and retarded such people are and I would IMMEDIATELY accept whatever their opinions were over my own feelings. I was incredibly influencable and eager to please and this just compounded over time until I reached my breaking point.>Fair enoughIt's too bad it's too late for me now.
>>42679133>It's too bad it's too late for me now."Too late" is the kind of brainworm that really pisses me off.There's niggas getting srs at age 60 yet anons here think it's too late to take the girlpills at 29 or 32 or w/e because the anon board told them so, lol.Too late is when you're dead.
>>42679158Well it's too late to pass, being visibly trans sounds like a nightmare to me. I simply don't have the strength of will or personality to put up with being society's punching bag.
>>42679181>Well it's too late to passMaybe. But it's not too late to enbycope, look cuter and LIVE instead of rotting.What got me out was a more normie friend who was like "fuck it" in 2019. By 2023 he had a boyfriend and was having fun. He still calls himself a man today but today legit he'd pass.Last year I went "fuck it" myself. I'm 34.Fuck knows if I'll ever pass (I assume never, but what if I'm wrong?). But now I want to know how far I can really get and I want to be smoother and cuter this summer.
>>42679309You dont look cute. You just end up looking like weird freak. t. knower
>>42679309I'll still probably going to give in eventually, but I'm here to lament my stupid decisions in the past.
turns out drinking 6 beers on a nice day fixes me. glad to be cured>>42675628no <3>>42678429chasing in the thread that self selects for the uggos/most insane seems like a particularly bad idea
>>42679330>I'm giga unlucky or fucked up the dosage or waited for hrt to be literal magic and didn't do anything else, therefore everyone else must be just as miserable as I am
>>42679582>drink six beersEasy.>on a nice dayWhere do you get one of those?
>>42680113mostly just that the weather was sunny and 70, got lunch with a friend and sat on my patio and readhow to get friends i cannot help you, mostly just stopping the bleeding on that front
I genuinely don't know what's wrong with me. I am over 30, have no desire for SRS, am totally malebrained and masculine, play games and watch shonenslop, have godzilla figurines as decorations, gymrot 3x a week, and have the sexual taste of a straight man. Yet for some gay ass fucking reason I get the urge to take HRT every few months or so, like it just snipes me out of nowhere at 2 a.m. What the actual fuck is this.
Watched the first episode of Andor since everyone says it's actually good and it was boring as hell. Not only do I find it hard to keep my intrest in any movies or shows (my brain keeps thinking it's meaningless slop), the Star Wars shows all kind of look like shit. Not sure why, the Sequels are fine.I only watched it because I couldn't sleep. Now I'm sleepy but don't *want* to. I woke up mad that I had to start my day now I'm mad I have to end it. Thanks for reading my blog post. I hate my body and can't be naked without feeling gross. Can't wait to wake up and go to my retard job with my retarded homophobic co workers.
>>42667261this image is literally me except it's in the background of my mind every hour of every day of every week
>>42679582samerepping becomes easy after 21
>>42678429someone could do this to me extremely easily, the results would be disastrousone of the many reasons why I can never drop the act around anyone ever
Just looked up the average height for a woman in my country, and it boggles my mind how much taller I am than that. Apparently it also boggles the minds of foids on reddit too, but that's little comfort to me.Like. I knew I was tall, but I didn't know I was almost a foot taller than the average. That hasn't been my experience, so maybe I just live somewhere where there's taller women, but...fuck me, I guess.>>42681792I mean, it works as long as it does...
>>42682061>I mean, it works as long as it does...not rlly desu I'm just coping
>>42679680Realistically there's a reason you didn't transition, especially if your friend did. You're a grown ass 34 year old man, how do you think you look? C'mon
>>42682061My country has just a 10cm difference with what it'd say is lots of exceptions but migrants in cities are tiny af Given perspective I don't feel bad around native women but foreigners make me feel like such a monstrous hon
>>42674800because height isn't nearly necessary in getting close to passing as you think it is. shape is infinitely more important than size. you wouldn't tell 4'10" danny devito to troon out just because of his height, would you?
I secretly wish I had a happy trans gf who would encourage me to stop repressing
