yes and it sort of caused me to explode on everyone I knew and totally blow up my social situation, I got better at handling it after a while but it was rough

>>42678472
Eugenia was so hot before she became a walking corpse

>>42678515
nah, shes hotter now

>>42678472
No, because I'm not a teenager. I'm a grown woman.

>>42678472
Yeah the teenage girl phase is common @.@ harder to manage the older & more sensitive you are. I kind of went alt right boymoder -> childlike babygirl -> bitch -> angst disaster -> numb.

Now I'm like angst disaster again, but fembrained. I think I'll be a normal woman if I can have a year without massive changes in my appearance/lifestyle.

>>42678498
>>42678607
Can I maybe get some tips on not blowing up my life?
I literally just changed religions, the news is just intolerable to me, I spent last night telling anon I loved her, I skipped work because I couldn't get out of bed this morning, I am a fucking mess right now and I do not have the tools to deal with this.

>>42678844
Work hard on compartmemtalising work & your personal life. Focus on identity work with your therapist if you have one. Get into journalling.

You can't really fight the teenage phase. If you didn't grow up properly the first time, you gotta do it now to be a real & full person. It's best you find a way to work though those feelings in controlled & safe spaces, instead.

Sometimes forests need fires to germinate - it's ok if you can't control it, and your life does go up in smoke for a bit. That crucible will create a newer and more authentic you in the future.

>>42678969
What's identity work?

Uh no literally still the same person idk why hrt would change anything in that regard

>>42678472
I dont feel like I did anything wrong but I did lose all my close friends after I went on s big girl dose so I presume yes

>>42678989
Digging arpund in your mind to think about who you are and who you want to be. If you were a social chameleon before HRT and blended with men, or had really severe dissociation, it can be useful to dig through looking for the "real you".

>>42679175
Cool. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow, I'm going to bring that up.

>>42678472
90% of it is just refusal to hide my feelings any more. If I'm upset, I'm going to act upset, not just hide it in a pit in my stomach and wait for an ulcer

>>42679664
Naw, I get that, but I got something else too.
My mood swings are fucking lethal.

>>42679175
hi do you have any more pointers or like resources on this type of thing? ive kind of been agonizing over this exact thing for many months now. and i feel so foolish that its taken me so long to try to introspect on things and i feel like i straight up don't know how. idk maybe a dumb question ur post just really resonated with me. i should probably find a therapist lol

>>42679025
well
the fucking nutcases here claim that estrogen treatment turns them into literal females and EVIDENCED by all of their new womanly psychology and behavior!

Um I literally lost all my friends. I started to grow frustrated with them before hrt but after starting, they all just started to seem so insensitive and Brutish. Like total moidish monsters. My social life was always tumultuous though and I was in kinda an awful social circle

>>42678472
No, this sort of shit is like how you can give someone non-alcoholic beer and trick him or her into behaving like a stereotype of a drunk person.
>>42678538
Yikes. Can everyone try not being cringe for just one day? No males calling themselves women, nobody talking about having tranny periods, nobody grossly exaggerating the effects of estradiol? Please?

>>42682498
Yus, a therapist will be good :) so they'll know best, but one thing I did was consciously reflect on my pre-testosterone memories, and try to invest my time/money/energy into similar things.

When I started HRT I had very severe dissociation, approaching DID but not quite. When I was a teen I gave the masc and femme personas animal totems and things like that, and as an adult I was able to get some euphoria by leaning into the compartmentalised femme identity (which I called "the fox"). I was too insane at the beginning of my transition to do informed-consent, so I went through the GD assessment pipeline, and that involved some useful discussions of dissociation with my psychiatrist, culminating in me taking the dissociation inventory (proving definitively I was just coping hard, no DID/"structural dissociation").

In the first year of my transition I tried very hard to kill "him" and exterminate him from my consciousness, which obviously failed. During times of high stress I would oscillate violently from high femme to aggressively masculine behaviour.

Around my second year HRT I was introduced to parts theory by my therapist, acceptance/commitment therapy, and integration. I began working on accepting & processing the boybrained parts of my identity instead of casting them out.

I had a very traumatic workplace so the integration didn't fully succeed, but I am one person now. I tend to experience life as a generally feminine woman with heavy mood swings instead of girly/light and boyish/dark like before.

What else...journalling is very helpful for straightening & clarifying your thoughts. Seeking out people who actively support & enforce your feminity is helpful. Intentionally girlmoding is helpful.

I remember saying a lot in the early days that identity is illusory - in the sense that you are the expression of your environment. So if you identify as a feminine person, feminine hobbies & accessories will stimulate that aspect of your personality.