been in a viscious cycle for a while, finally out of the worst of it but anytime i get overwhelmed i end up drunk and doing dumb manic shit, ranging from drugs to partying for 3 days straight. worst it ever got was partying for half a year straight and living off savings. completely crashed out like a psycho. ended up raped a few times and roofied a bunch, everyone in this town thinks im a psycho (cis) whore. didn't lose any friends and my family only knows a fraction of it (thank fucking god, still did some cringy shit tho like send dancing videos w friends or vids drinking and doing drugs kms) but likehow do i break that cycle forever? if i ever let another bpdemon tranny rape me again imma kms.it isnt smth i wanna do normally anymore, but when shit gets insanely bad somehow i always end up drunk and at someone elses house or at a party or bar and i hate it nonas. im 30, i cant keep doing this forever.
>everyone in this town thinks im a psycho (cis) whorealso to clarified im a passoid not cis, just ppl think i am thank fuck.
>>42751020ive never been to a party i just read all this and felt jealous
>>42751204dont be, all i did was get myself molested, raped, drugged, and known as a total psycho in part due to addiction and in part due to being a whore
stop being a whore maybe?
>>42751020I copped myself a felony and was forced to stop. Sucks but I honestly I would still be a piece of shit rn if I didnt. Then again I sill have plenty if time to relapse. I just don't see that happening
>>42751362cant be open gay (besides i aint rly besides for my sister) so making out w girls while drunk is nice (so she never finds out anyway)>>42751363holy shit, glad that i never copped that- got close to some misdemeanors though. so sorry nona
>>42751516Aww itsokay sweetie. I am a better person for it. I dont mind owning up to my mistakes. Probably more inexpensive, less humiliating ways of doing that but I'll take it as a win.
>>42751204you clowns gotta stop thinking like this because eventually you'll get yourself into a fucked situation like OP and realise you've wasted however many years of your life by wanting to have it destroyed, then getting it destroyed, then ropeit's genuinely an awful way to live. drugs cook your brain in the long term (a few cheeky party nights is probably fine, tho) and getting sexually assaulted cooks it more, and just makes you fucked insane stupid miserablet. bipolar tranny that knows several other severely bipolar/bpd trannies
>>42753273fucking thank you nonagenuinely ruined my life almost, nearly frozen to death in this awful city on the really bad nights this winter when id pass out drunk in the cold. only happened twice thank fuck .gets to the negatives out here and i still dont know how i didnt dielike this was the morning after a party last winter, i walked home half fuckin naked in this with a wet jacket. never again i hope.
>>42754016i mean technically this winter, but like, its "spring" now or whatever idk
>>42754016i had almost the opposite, i live in a hot and humid area and i used to day drink a lot and would pass out drunk in parks and shit without drinking much, if any, water. got heat stroke a few times, after the manic episode started to chill out i realised i was flying a little close to the sunnot the same as freezing to death, but still. environmentally dangerous behaviours, etc
>>42755225desu even drinking at home doesnt feel much better these days either. ugh.
>>42755633i just gave up drinking entirely desu. i was only ever a social drinker, but not social as in "with friends", i would go to a bar and insert myself into whatever group looked interesting (mania confidence through the roof) and then in my head i was "socially drinking". i would've already had like 4 pints of beer at that point, but idk.you can stop, i believe in you. you're the one with the thread about insane grooming sister, right?if/when you get out of that nightmare you can make it, i have faith
