Whenever i look at a woman who is beautiful in a certain kind of way, i become veryveryvery jealous >: and i'm not turned on by thinking of being thatAn aching pit forms in my stomach that hurts in real life. and if i do this too much i curl up and i have to cry for an hour.......>BUTit makes me very insecure because it's not petite or small women like all the HSTS girls want...my "goals" (trigger) are curvy soft pretty big women. Maybe it's also misogynistic to think this way.... that it's less valid. But all the straight trutrans girlies value what society and other women call >feminine, cute and smallwhere I crave >femaleness maturity womanhood,idk if i can explain it well...I'm also insecure because I used to confuse this for attraction - even though I've never pursued women or would ever want to be in a relationship with someone who looks like that (I would be too jealous to love them, and that's unfair.)>TLDRAll of my "AGP triggers" don't turn me on they make me angry and sad.. but they are "agp"coded goals (big boobs/hips/belly/soft.)I don't want to be icky and malebrained
>>42788836kill me! now!!!
>>42788836This is just what peak human body looks like. It is normal for you to want to look like this no matter what is your gender.
>>42789002no it isn't ppl say it's gross and real women with this body type get hated on a lot and deal with fatphobia :(
>>42788836how do i NOT kms? :(
it sounds like AGP yet AGP without sexual arousal/attraction... unless you ARE attracted to these sort of women in other contexts? or you're, what, a homosexual male that is simply very envious of the body build that you regard as the most feminine, and would like to have that yourself in order to appeal to men?people in general just really hate what women naturally look like in their maturity. it's grim.
>>42789696>it sounds like AGP yet AGP without sexual arousal/attraction...but how is it a "philia" if it's not sexual?>unless you ARE attracted to these sort of women in other contexts?not at all :(>or you're, what, a homosexual malei fantasize about them a lot but ..... i'm not sure. i like women too..i'm a bifag so i guess that means i'm meta-attracted agp?> that is simply very envious of the body build that you regard as the most feminine, and would like to have that yourself in order to appeal to men?no... because a lot of men hate this body type, and want the other body type i described:> ideal femininity being skinny small short petite cute.. (even "childlike" which ..... ew)>people in general just really hate what women naturally look like in their maturity. it's grim.yeah it's so gross. i wish i looked like a normal natural woman for my age...
>>42789835I don't know, anon, I'm just spitballing here. can AGP even exist nonsexually, as in without sexual arousal?you're confusing me, you said you're both not attracted to women and attracted to them - which one is it?since you're already aware that so many people, men and women, look down on this body type, do you know why you even desire it for yourself?
>>42788836Do whatever makes you feel happy. Even if you are a perverted fetishist, why do you care? 50 years ago homosexuality was considered a perverted fetish; it’s all arbitrary
>>42788836>I don't want to be icky and malebrainedWhy not?I'm malebrained and treated all of this as an exercise of body modding while remaining fundamentally a fag.The only downside is that after a bit over a decade I might have to go with "I'm a woman" because I look way too much like one and the odd conversations are getting tiresome.Life's short. Do what you want and like. Ignore the repressive idiots (that includes a significant chunk of this board too).
>>42789880>you said you're both not attracted to women and attracted to them - which one is it?>>unless you ARE attracted to *these sort* of women in other contexts?>no>>or you're, what, a homosexual male>no i'm bithis is just not my type...... i'm not attracted to that body type at all >:>since you're already aware that so many people, men and women, look down on this body type, do you know why you even desire it for yourself?no nott reallyBut!!! i have theories!!>associated trauma of maleness with being skinny/boney>bullied (and abused) for being boneybut....... i remember wanting this before that abuse started as harshly :(>grew up with very restricted diets and skinny culturethough i don't know why that would work out this wa????>attraction to this body turned inwardthough i've never been attracted to this body type ever >:>characters in media i aspired to be likethough there is only one i remember explicitly causing this when i was young (cool/nerdy side girl love interest in a book i read. didn't like the mc lol. i just thought she was cool and aspirational)>this body type as more adult strong and "real" ... the opposite of ED culture portraying womanhood as weakness and malnourishedthough again i've wanted this body (or aspired to grow up that way) before i had social media.......>the antithesis of my body's expression of maleness (scrawny gaunt horrifying creature)probably most likely?But..... i can't say why desu.... only i have for a very long time. the same way these other girls wish they grew up thin. i guess i don't.
>>42789924because i don't look like a woomann....well i have been passing... i mean.people also tell me i am fembrainedd.... and i knoww that's misogynistic to feel validated by but i don't know ;-; it's nice to know others think my soul is feminine?having this be my goals feels like i'd be judged as a pervert for it..and i don't mind perverts or people who transition for agp.but i'm embarrassed by being seen that way because others think it's shameful.... i guess all this to say i can't ignore it. i need validation don't i.. :(
>>42790133>because others think it's shameful....Anon, with respect, this is a brainworm you need to kill.You don't have to care about the opinions of anyone who isn't involved in paying your bills or loving you (sexually and/or emotionally).
>>42788836ewwww
>>42789696> homosexual maleare blanchardists retarded?
>>42788836ngmi
>>42789002No man wants to look like this. Morbidly obese women are the furthest thing from the male form. I’ve put everything I can into escaping this disgusting lumpy misshapenness without being obese, I would never want to be.
