Do I post a selfie as a form of self harm? I took one because I thought I looked cute in the mirror, but it tanked my mental health immediately. I've been trying my best to be smart and demure lately, but I think I need someone to be cruel to me. It might help.
i have almost posted face pics here b4 but always back out… i think that posting anything identifying on 4chan always feels like a bad idea imho
>>42892584But I could use the pain. Cutting doesn’t hit the same anymore.
>>42892589i can’t stop you but like are you seriously unattractive enough that it will be anything more than embarrassing?
>>42892603Yes. I am.
>>42892547No. Don't hand yourself to the shartyjews. You'll get through this.
>>42892621I’m not sure you should call them that, but thanks. I just don’t see a future where I pass without ffs. And ffs is a long way away for me.
>>42892642This is not from any of my posts but that’s funny.
Older selfie. I’ve caved.https://litter catbox.moe/3983z0j397ry0vtk.jpeg.Tbh though, passing tips would be nice. I’ve been trying to be more stable and save for a few lapses sometimes, I have generally been better. This incident just humbled me again.I need FFS so bad.
>>42892547I understand you feel you need self harm.>>42892589You yourself said "Cutting doesn’t hit the same anymore.".But i can't condone you hurting yourself over your appearance. You may feel guilty, but guilt is nothing but a big and heavy sack of bricks we care for no reason. Even when we actually are responsible for something.Cutting yourself as punishment or to symbolize the inferior way you perceive yourself will only distract you from the path of achieving a better life and understanding the real reasons why you find so many difficulties ahead of you.It is always easier said than done, but it doesn't make it untrue. I am not trying to scam you. I won't (individually and/or financially) win anything with you stop cutting or degrading yourself. But i won't lose either.
>>42892746girl you are wayyy too hard on yourself. yeah ffs but that’s almost all of us who are still transitioning.
>>42892851I’ve gotten much better at managing my self harming behaviours. It went from almost daily to once every month at most, which I think is good. You sound strong and courageous like Maomao the apothecary. Thank you anon, this is soothed my spirits. >>42892859I just get brainwormed very, very easily. I’m two years HRT. I thought I’d be better by now. Granted, that effort is boymode, but I get so nervous girlmoding, let alone taking pics in girlmode. I seek to shatter that habit by the end of the year.
>>42892877that picture is boymode* I’m so good at making typos.
>>42892877I do think is good, anon. Thanks for the compliment (even though i don't know who Maomao the apothecary is).But i actually don't perceive myself as much strong and even less courageous. I have my own self distortions and problems identifying my achievements in life.I actually self harm myself in other ways. A few months ago, i went in a fucking spree. Gay saunas and hookers. No condoms whatsoever. It was in the early morning, after have being raw fucked by some ugly fucks I've never met in my life i generally wouldn't have sex with i realized i didn't wanted to have lots of sex. And sex with incredibly handsome guys (the hookers) didn't made me feel 100% satisfied. I realized i wanna feel good about myself with myself. Those last years i had a feel shots with a few good looking guys i met. In real life and online. But once i actually did, i started panicking because i felt i didn't had what it takes to satisfy them. I was afraid to be replaced or for them to say or do something that would confirm all the bad shit i think about myself. Even before I even went on a first date, anon.>"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.">SenecaI'm not just venting, I'm saying all this shit you didn't asked for because I know I'm not a role model and I don't wanna be considered one now; i want you to know that most of us deal with similar shit and most of us don't know how to deal with it. Most of us have only each other to rely on. We must make each other stronger.
>>42892982Don’t view things through such a black and white light. Someone can be a role model while being flawed and troubled themselves. I think being flawed is actually the default as far as role models go, and your desire to reject that says a lot about your self perception. We can only make ourselves stronger by inspiring each other, by trying to be better than we are. Love yourself anon.We stoop low when things get rough. What defines us is whether or not we choose to stay there.
