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I've been doing some deliberating and i don't think i want to transition. I don't really want anything out of life either.

I truly went deep within myself and went "Assuming i could become a cute cissoid female tomorrow with no financial worries and good personality, would that make me happy?" And i truly believe the answer is no.

And then i kinda just thought about it and i dont really want anything. I want to avoid discomfort ig so i'll eat food and drink water but aside from that its like eh.
Used to think i wanted to get good at illustration/writing but i gave an earnest try to both and didn't like either. I don't have friends and i don't desire social contact so.

I say this pragmatically and not as a mental case. Should i consider suicide?
I can also just wait 50 years but thats gonna get boring.
I dont intend to ever transition on the account that i dont want to and dont experience dysphoria in the first place.

I just kind of dont want anything.
Videogames arent fun and i cant read books anymore.