I’m a trans woman who has in the past had mild fantasies about being a hot guy but lately they’ve been overpowering. I think about stopping estrogen, going to the gym, becoming a big muscley gym bro. It’s not really a forced masc fantasy but I do imagine having a group of bros who encourage me and show me how to be masc. I keep looking at pics of hot guys and thinking I could BECOME one.This has like REALLY turned me on and it’s making me question my whole identity as a trans woman. I have BPD/autism and a history of identity instability so irdk what I’m doing but I’ve lived as a trans woman for so long atp but since I’ve had no surgeries the idea of living as a man doesn’t seem impossible. Me even considering it makes me feel faketrans and like I should just do it. If I want to be my agab that seems like the easier path even though I’ll have to deal with hrtitties and having had laser. I saw this detransition post where this pretty trans girl clearly developed autoandrophilia and became a hot military guy and I was like wait… why am I identifying with this rn.I’m regretting my transition atm, I’m not happy as a trans woman and I don’t think I will ever truly pass, my voice will always be clocky. I’m feminine but I never really TRIED to become masculine because I started identifying as trans at 13. I needed to express my femininity but I don’t think I needed to transition. If I could wake up a hot guy tomorrow I would. I think I only ever have dysphoria when I compare myself to women, when I don’t it goes away pretty much. I sent chatGPT a pic of me and asked for steps to detransition and it gave me an erection.I’ve been thinking about doing everything as a man. Gym, barber, shopping in the men’s section, ordering food and being social as a man. Having guy friends. I want all of this now very suddenly. Idk what I’m gonna do and I promise if I detroon I’ll never shit on y’all. I’m a confused individual clearly.
>>43034220I have this toothe main obstacle tho for me is that im brown and all my aap fantasies involve being a white male
>>43034220i have similar AAP tendencies about imagining myself as a man, but for me its only in an erotic context and usually these thoughts fade instantly after an orgasm. i'm just weird i guess
>>43034285For me it went from occasional erotic interest to identity disturbing fascination I can’t stop thinking about, I wish it didn’t rock me like this but it really has me questioning shit
>>43034328>For me it went from occasional erotic interest to identity disturbing fascination I can’t stop thinking about, I wish it didn’t rock me like this but it really has me questioning shitwell, surely you're not trying to revolve your entire life around what more or less amounts to a kink. do you still experience dysphoria at all?
>>43034460I don’t think I do? I think I only experience dysphoria if I’m comparing myself to women. If I accept being male it doesn’t bother me and very recently I feel like I can accept that and work towards masculinity.
>>43034505okay i mean if that is true i honestly have a very hard time believing you're trans. maybe you should start to ask yourself why you wanted to transition in the first place
>>43034220Honestly I have weird AAP feelings too but I genuinely hate them so like idk what to tell you.
>>43034220this is good news, this is who you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to do
>>43034538Yeah. I wish I could have put more in my post. I mean I’m trans in the sense that I have the body and live the life of a trans woman but I don’t know if that’s my true identity anymore. I wasn’t happy as a boy, I was othered from other boys at a young age and never recovered and I think I thought being a girl was easier than trying to be masculine. And then my life as a trans woman has been horrible not easier than trying to be masculine at all. But I don’t hate my body or my features unless I’m thinking to myself “oh a woman wouldn’t have that.” If I’m just a guy why does it matter.
>>43034220I'm not asking this to fuck with you, but how tall are you, and can you draw a silhouette of your face? A lot of ftms have a lot of romantic notions of what it's like to be a man, and if you have a desire to transition, nothing I say is going to stop you. But you need to actually know what you're getting into, and not be like some of the pooners I've seen who crash out when they're clocked at 5'2" with soft faces.
>>43034603Thanks man
>>43034629Honestly this sounds like you're just dealing with dysphoria still? And that being a guy does seem easier. Being a guy is easier, but it's also not possible for some of us. I frequently wish I was a guy because it would be so much easier if I was, y'know, a guy. But it's not. I tried. The only way I could tolerate it was by closing myself off from every feeling that mattered and by turning being a guy into a responsibility rather than a desire. Sometimes I still think that way. That I have a responsibility to be a guy and take care of some girl. It's painful.
>>43034660I just don’t think I tried hard enough. I started identifying as trans at 13 after a childhood of being feminine/autistic/bullied and then I started actually transitioning when I had independence and could at 19. I really didn’t try.. and now all I can think about is how my life would’ve been easier/better and how it still could be. And it doesn’t help that it’s erotic for me too
>>43034816UhYou had SIX YEARSGenuinely I think you're just a self hating tranny I don't blame you thoI kinda do a similar thing. I mean with the responsible man who just wants to see his wife flourish thing. But also I do get off on being like, turned into a gay bottom or whatever sometimes. Being trans sucks.
>>43034660this is grooming>>43034832he is grooming you, you are a dude and you should work out until your balls are full and round
>>43034868>Honest and complicated dialogue that highlights how messy the trans experience is>"Grooming!"Retard
>>43034892there is no >trans experiencieall niggas should try to get outside the hole as quick as they can. the tranny grooming not only affects the body but the soul as well
>>43034220why would you detrans? just go to the gym now. there is nothing stopping you. you can get as muscular as you want and you should be.you will likely regret detransing but if that's your path and you must do it then you will find out for yourself. you can also just be genderfluid or like i said muscular as you are. you don't have to detrans to be muscular.i'm saying this because you clearly want to be muscular, not a man. my aap is the same. the only thing i like about masculinity is muscles, and i like being toned, not bulky. if you don't want androgenic effects too, not just anabolic, but also red skin, oily skin, potential acne and other issues, hair loss, body hair, body odor, aggression, risk taking, insomnia, systemizing thinking (you mentioned being autistic, so you can look at autistic men for clues, you may become obsessed with random things like train schedules or occult christian scripture). but it's worth trying at least once in life. yolo
>>43034982grooming
>>43034285It only happens to me in a context of a gay relationship
>>43035026it's just trendy to behave like a retard nowadays, people call anyone that is even remotely pro-trans a groomer now so its best to just not give him any attention at all
>>43034220Literally the proof enbys exist, maybe genderfluid
>>43035043you are the spawn of satan
>>43035043yeah i realized that after responding but ty for reassurance. also i get weird feelings admitting i went through that. i wouldn't wish it on anyone
>>43034238KEEEEEEK
>>43034982I don’t JUST want muscles tho I want to be a masculine man and live life that way. thats what I keep fantasizing about. Idk I’m not rushing to detrans and I’m gonna take a break from estrogen and try working out before I cut off my hair and make an announcement about my identity. But I just feel compelled to do this.
>>43035163Chances you will feel dysphoric again, take that into consideration
>>43035163this, dont let the demons ruin your male soul>>43035191>>43034982there is a special place in hell for people like you
>>43034220>>43034816>>43035163on a more genuine note anon, because i am the only cis person of this thread and because all the trannies are going to reflect and projecting themselves in you and tell you not to detrans, i am going against all odds and tell you to give it a try, you should try to leave estrogen for a little and just see how it feels and start with some light exercises, maybe you discover something about yourself that you didnt know
>>43034220>I'm OBSESSED with my body, so I'm only happy if I'm transitioning into something before I lose focus and transition again!
>>43035163do you have friends you can talk to about this? if you feel compelled and want the full man experience then go for it but be smart about it. dont burn bridges, be cautious, and have a support network and safety nets. dont be rash and take it one step at a time. sounds like you have a plan already. did you post here because you just wanted that final sense to see if anyone could talk you out of it?
>>43035269thanks man, I’m going to. masculinity is honestly really foreign to me even tho I’m a biological male but I feel compelled to explore it and I think it might be right for me. I think I didn’t explore it before for the wrong reasons. And if worse comes to worse I can still just be a kinda faggy guy if I fail at my machismo dream. still gotta lift tho.
>>43035307I honestly haven’t talked to anyone I actually know about this so I’m just trying to get some insight. part of me thinks I’m having a crisis but another part feels like I’ve found what’s right for me.
>>43035372Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Honestly having one may give you better insight on what feels right.
>>43035331yeah, and is not like you cant get back to hrt. in any case, i think you will feel regret if you dont do it, its also super hot. i have hope in you anon
