internalized homophobia is a waste of time
>>43038693trvke but you are prewching to the choir here
>>43038743no im not, most people here feel validated by shitting on themselves or others for being gay, esp. gay in the "wrong" way
>>43038755where does homophobia come from? why do they feel it validating?
>>43039129>where does homophobia come from? my dad>why do they feel it validating?because I can feel like less of a faggot If I call the anon above me a stupid faggot.
>>43040001:( so so it's everyone feeling like a dsiappointment?
>>43039129womenwomen reward you socially for speaking out against gays
>>43041073 reward how
>>43042143be nicer to you
>>43040001fuck your dad
>>43043409
>>43044023Bruh, i wonder how this person feels having those scars for life
>>43038755It's just banter girl lighten up
>>43044051that she wishes her dad were 18 and she could bring him back from the dead and fuck him one more timemaybe there's a magical spell for that, maybe she's into witchcraft
>>43042505thats mean
>>43044125the crazy part if you fell for it, you were so desperate for social acceptance you were willing to malign others just to fit in, you love their niceness, even if it's fake and they would turn on you in a heartbeat if you came out as supporting gays in a true authentic way
>>43044137thats exactly what i was thinking. thats why women know men are so easy to manipulate.
>>43044203I enjoyed seeing women flip out when they realized I wasn't gonna play along with their games even though it meant being totally socially isolated. Life is too short to jump through hoops to please foids. My mom spent my whole childhood screaming at me cuz she's an ultra dominant top and was shocked I, an effeminate gay boy, wouldn't submit to her.
>>43039129>where does homophobia come from?tribal brain
>>43044232i was thinking earlier, women like that should have gay children, but then i thought no, they are the kind of moms who abuse their gay children. not even having a gay child of their own is enough to get them to overcome their homophobia.how did you overcome succumbing to it?
>>43044253tribal brain just means female brainwomen want men to be their slaves>>43044282I don't understand why my mom put so much effort into abusing me. It just makes no sense. I was never gonna marry a woman no matter what. Well, I'm trying to make my own world. I've spent the last year and a bit traveling the mountains exploring and hoping to write about my experiences in hopes of making money doing that. Nobody in my family is doing anything creative and that's what I want to do. I take photos of nature as well. I'm on a road trip now, headed back home over the course of three days, from further away mountains. I don't think people who are homophobic overcome it because society lets you get away with it completely. The thing that makes me happiest is that the guy who refused a wedding cake for that gay couple stopped selling wedding cakes altogether (which was a majority of his business before). Most people don't even know that.
>>43044327wow that sounds really cool! i would love to read your travel blog and see your pictures and i didnt even know that about the wedding cake shop either> don't understand why my mom put so much effort into abusing me. It just makes no sense. I was never gonna marry a woman no matter what.idk either its like a compulsion, they must get something out of it. its to defend their own flawed worldview i guess. the tribal brain thing.
>>43044452I've started imagining that she had an abusive childhood she has never told me about. My dad let it slip once, on a trip oddly enough with him without her present, that he knew that my mom's dad used to push my mom's mom down and I wonder if there's more to that. My mom has this weird habit where if she stubs her toe or some minor injury she screams ULTRA LOUD, like way disproportionate to what happens and then my dad comes running and I asked him about that and he told me my mom's mom used to do the same thing when my grandpa would hit her. The sad part is my mom seems convinced I might repress after all and marry a woman. She would be fine with me doing that. "haha you were just bisexual after all".
>>43044923there's no way to know for sure, but when people are homophobic like that, and encouraging others to represe, it invites reading into it that they are carrying trauma and repressing too.>The sad part is my mom seems convinced I might repress after all and marry a woman. She would be fine with me doing that. "haha you were just bisexual after all".sad. i've noticed they don't actually do anything to help either, which calls their bluff. or they would "invest" in you. instead it's just bullying under the rationale of helping through negative reinforcement and if you can't succeed like they did then you deserve to be bullied even more for being a loser. totally self defeating and proves they just want to bully and not actually help you. because they know deep down forcing someone into a role that is unnatural and uncomfortable for them and that they don't want is wrong. even if you got married then they would shift the goalposts to why aren't you being the man of the relationship why aren't you a successful high t husband meeting her needs when are you going to have kids why aren't you having more kids why aren't you a good role model for your kids and so on.
>>43045301my parents have never really inquired about what kind of men I like, never brought up sex or dating when I was a kid other than jokes about "what girls do you like"it sucks being bullied by my own family and my mom, sister, and dad ALL do itI'm very smart and was sort of the prodigal son and expected to succeed and there was so much pressure and it all failed because they never protected, supported, or defended me, they just threw me in high pressure situations where everyone bullied me for being gay, then blamed me for being "mentally ill" when it happenedI really just want to be a dad and show my kids cool nature stuff and have them click into that. I mean, I want them to be themselves, but if I can get them to appreciate being outside that would be so cool.
bump
>>43038693Yeah my therapist thinks I have internalized homophobia and its my least favorite thing for her to bring up. Cuz ill say some shit about gay people thats lowkey true like how we have toxic hookup culture and then she hits me with the internalized homophobia spiel. Like all she ends up doing is making me think further that maybe homophobes are all right and we really are just degenerates. Maybe i should go to pol and ask them to bully me for being gay so i can finally get the validation i so want
>>43038693I hate when people accuse me of being gay when I'm just a repping tranny but you can't tell that to people
>>43047262your therapist is right, you don't see gays as individual humans
>>43045319you sound like you're doing great. it's awful what you've been through and it's very relatable to me so i find you inspirational. i really like nature, writing, and photography too. probably because growing up in a homophobic environment like that forces you to withdraw and become independent and those interests help with that.keep sharing your story anon, you have a way of casually inspiring others and more people need to know there's a better path than self hate and repression and projection and all that. homophobia is still a huge issue and people just need to know being gay isn't the end of the world and that internalizing homophobia only makes things worse, acceptance doesn't have to look the same way for any two people. no matter how downtrodden it seems, it's choosing the path of freedom, agency, and wellbeing.
>>43048752oooh an actual nice response on 4chanthanks anondo you have any nature photos I could see?>more people need to know there's a better path than self hate and repression and projection and all that.yeah seems like more people are on that path than the "well, nobody accepts me being gay but I don't hate myself for it regardless" path I've been on. It's kind of the end of the world socially. I'm basically an irl leper. But it's a trip.
>>43048765>yeah seems like more people are on that path than the "well, nobody accepts me being gay but I don't hate myself for it regardless" path I've been on. It's kind of the end of the world socially. I'm basically an irl leper. But it's a trip.yeah you can count me in this camp too :')>oooh an actual nice response on 4chanthanks anon<3>do you have any nature photos I could see?i have too manyyyyy here's a cute exhibit from ~last week at an orchid festival and yes i am picking this because of the rainbow lol i hope this counts as nature
>>43049411Do you hike?
>>43049979sadly we don't have mountains here so i wouldn't call it hiking but we do have trails through like mangroves and stuff with great birding and i love that
the kloset isnt homophobic though its spacious and roomy and the darkness protects only other people would tell anyone otherwise [klosetphobes]
>>43050512yeah theres a difference between being closeted for safety and being in denial though
>>43050532the lgbt community has other issues that are all safely monitored from Der Kloset
>>43050465ick I hate florida
>>43052078tell me about it... be glad you dont have to live here :(i wish i could go on real hikes
>>43053569come to north georgia with me, its quite comfy and there's lots to seeflorida makes sense - for 10 weeks in winter, if you cannot escape before or after, not so muchnow that's its back to normal weather in the mountains there's no appeal
>>43050512kloset is a trap
