I will learn to accept that I am a cis man
good morning what are we listening to
Today's music rec: Hypermyth by Signal Questhttps://orangemilkrecords.bandcamp.com/album/hypermyth
>>43043791It's actually midnight for me
Good evening Ms. Repper-Kun.Did you enjoy CSM's ending? Asa won, Powah won. Also would you like me to share what i've been listening to?Im off to sleep soon doe bc im super tired and depressed and drank 0.4L.of 40% whiskey.
Repper kun have you ever tried talking to ChatGPT about your chronic issue?What do you do to cope with your dysphoria other than posting this board every day?Are you just seeking connection, community, or validity? Or are you actually seeking condemnation?What would a perfect life as a cis man look like for you? What about as a cis woman?
>>43044091>Recommmending chatGoyPT.Are you genuinely retarded?
>>43044035I haven't read CSM after the end of the first part. Good to know that finished, cause now I can binge read it someday. Don't spoil me please.And feel free to share what you've been listening to. I like finding new music.Good night, and hopefully your hangover won't be too bad
>>43044110I don’t really care, it’s helped me more than years of therapy. It actually knows where to draw the line between delusion and logic, and can keep hundreds of personal historical variables in coherent order, a therapist has never been able to do that for me. Turns out over a decade of repping and coping cycles are difficult to penetrate when you have one hour a week to try to untangle those problems. Stealthoid btw, stay mad, don’t care.
>>43044202https://youtu.be/dfQwNykF3Y4?is=QEKRz5mN3d8f5F9M
>>43044250If therapists are worse than GPT it means you were getting scammed by a quack who should be impaled on a blunt spike for messing with peoples minds for no real benefit.
>>43044202what do you like to listen to mostly
>>43044091>Repper kun have you ever tried talking to ChatGPT about your chronic issue? Nope. I refuse to use ai, even if it may be helpful to some. Can't really use them without supporting any of the corporations I hate>What do you do to cope with your dysphoria other than posting this board every day? Dysphoria? I don't actually have dysphoria, which I have to accept. That's kinda why I make this thread daily>Are you just seeking connection, community, or validity? Or are you actually seeking condemnation? Good questions. I do enjoy talking to all nonas and and anons who come to this crappy thread, and I don't really care about being condemned necessarily. I guess I just like screaming into the void>What would a perfect life as a cis man look like for you? What about as a cis woman?Can't really imagine either. Actually, trying to seriously think about this is quite dreadful cause nothing comes to mind at all
>>43044354That's hard to narrow down. I listen to a ton of different music, but most of the music I listen to recently either does something novel or is at least a bit out there. I especially enjoy really dense and discordant compositions right now, no matter whether they're played with live instruments or not
>>43044256I actually never got into listening to older hiphop, and it feels like I have a huge cultural blindspot because of it
>>43044366I really dont like being mean but i tried to use AI for work and to zip through college assignments and i can verifiably say it'a useless fucking garbage.Forget the ethical qualms. It's just bad. It takes more work to get it to work properly than it would be to just do a task and even then it can just hallucinate.The only real usecase is for notes managament but anything above that is too much, and even in AI circles GayGPT is considered the shitty pick.I genuinely cant fathom how the other poster can do AI therapy. I think badly of them because of that admition.Okay, so, you're a tranny repper?!That's great. Take a deep breathe, relax, and pat yourself on the shoulder. It couldn't have been easy to admit that!Here are some options that may help your transition and general well-being. (Disclaimer that bots cant give medical advice.)Okay, got it! So you're worried about not passing as a woman because of your moided proportion? That sucks! But dont worry, it's something a lot of trans women struggle with! -- One woman on reddit said:...I cant FUCKING fathom having actual longwinded "Conversation" with that fucking gizmo thingamabob.
To repper-kun.Dutasteride actually works and im not balding anymore. Should i go on tinder and say that i'm a repper looking for a bad bitch who could make a man out of me and give me lots of sweaty vagina sex???Also have the ability to go to a Femtanyl concert pretty soon. Would they stone a dryrepper to death during one of those?
>>43044502You literally called yourself a repper. Just take your damn hrt. If I see a 96 pound moid at the next femtanyl concert, I'll "forcefully" inject him with estrogen
>>43044366Repper kun is your name Robyn by any chance?
>>43044540I'm a fakerepper.
>>43044502I actually own a postcard signed by femtanyl herself.I'm glad duta works for you, although you'll still age as a man. Also, I don't think hooking up will help you
>>43044571Forgot the pic damnit
>>43044571Some crazy copers said duta helps you preserve twinkhood since it nukes legit 90% of all dht.Too bad i have been looking like a 50yo officeworker moid since i hit age 15 lol.>>43044594I type like this wen i get drunkz and agp. :0
>>43044557No, but that's a pretty name
I like my moided name and would keep it even if i got TF'd into a cute girl.Its just a solid name.
>>43044366>trying to accept lack of dysphoria by making the same thread every day about trying to accept status as a cis man>can’t describe a future as a man or a woman at allAnon you sound extremely dissociated and depressed. I want you to try something. One day this week, skip breakfast, go on a 2-3 hour walk, don’t look at your phone, but music is ok. then lay in bed and just think about what kind of life you could want. Just name one or two aspects about living as a man, woman, trans woman, trans man, and write them down and report back. You’re stuck in a cycle probably mediated by food or media consumption that is numbing you to your own life. You don’t have to live like this.
>>43044683I'm like this too but the obvious answer is that you feel bad because you're being actively warred upon with biological weapons, mind control, trauma-led propaganda and the rulers of the world rape and eat infants and worship an ancient hebrew demon(for real).Its like... Yeah i'm not gonna be happy. There's enough lead to make a bullet out of directly in my brainstem and it has been there since birth because the fucking groundwater, crops, and meatstock are all contaminated out the ass
>>43044708I mean I’m aware of all of this too, I’ve had many mental breakdowns about it and don’t even care that ChatGPT is just an information collection tool for a bunch of Baal worshippers, they harassed be in 2016 for researching pizzagate. It just made me feel less insane somehow. I don’t blame you for judging my use of it, I hate it too and am working on stopping, it was last resort when I was losing my mind and couldn’t keep events or details about myself straight. Fuck AI and AI art.Idk I just know what it’s like to live a dissociated life because I’ve been doijg it since childhood in order to numb my sex dysphoria. I’ll never be a mom so transition helps but only a little. My life is mostly a series of coping mechanisms like overeating and being chronically online, but I know it doesn’t have to be this way. We are all fully capable of passing, living honest lives and building community. Seeds can be planted and music can be performed even in the most desperate and dreadful of times; humans have always done it and will do so until our extinction.
>>43044826Sorry for being mean to you about goyimGP.Sounds like you have it all sorts of rough and im bassically a high-functioning alcoholic so i shouldnt judge either way.I dont personally desire to pass.All i want from life is to live on my own, have some money, and take hrt without anyone ever knowing for any reason.Not even sure about nr3 lol
>>43044683I definitely am depressed, but I don't know about dissociated. I'm either so dissociated that I can't even fathom what it's like to not be dissociated, or I'm just not dissociated at all.Also, I normally skip breakfast most of the days. It's not uncommon for me to only eat one meal per day. And I'm also semi frequently going on hour long walks, just pondering life and it's hard to not be hopeless even then.
>>43044844I'm also a whiskey drinker, and will drink tonight in your honor reppermoid.
>>43044874Should i skip classes tomorrow?I kinda dont feel like doing anything.
>>43044874Also thankyou. I only drink it bc Noir Men Of Action do in the movies. I have 0 idea if it tastes any good because i've never had any other kind of alcohol including bear. I've only ever drank cheap whiskey.
>>43044918I skipped a lot during lecture (professor blabbing) but not so much in discussion (us blabbing.) So take your pick.
>>43044930I just purchased really high end 100 proof bourbon and it tastes so much better than cheap shit. But I wouldn't recommend because it'd be even more addicting.
>>43044931Hhmmmmm..I'll skip but i'll try to be like... Productive in some other way ig.I've been in slumps like that before, once i force myself to get out of it its smooth sailing for a bit. I just need to get sturdy. Also sorry for just talking about myself 90% of the time im selfcentered not bc of narcissism but bc im low IQ and cant take interest in anything outside of my immediate surroundings.
>>43044941If Alcohol tasted good i'd be a non-functional alcoholic lol. If i actually wanted to sip it for taste its over.
>>43044962It's alright, I tend to not talk about myself and only focus on the other person because I hate my life and don't want to think about it.
>>43044872Maybe try the opposite then? Go get an expensive meal and really enjoy it, get some good rest, really try to imagine something that brings you joy. Anything. Then follow that thread. But good god try taking a break from the internet. You and I have that problem in common at least… I’ve seen you make this thread constantly over the last 4 years and it makes me really sad every time. I’m rooting for you…>>43044844No need to apologize, I know it’s cringe and disgusting/destructive just like eating factory farmed meat. I deserve it. I did struggle a lot in therapy because despite passing most days, I deal with a web of coping mechanisms that affect my inflammation and ability to pass. My cis therapist wasn’t equipped to deal with it and did her best to deal with my trannydom and neuroses but she had to bow out after a while. I don’t blame her.You don’t have any desire to pass or you have the idea of passing feels impossible and thus you have killed that desire? Why take HRT at all? How long have you been on it? What made you start taking it?
>>43044979>I’ve seen you make this thread constantly over the last 4 yearsI've started making this thread 2 months ago
>>43044979Im not on hrt. And i think i dont care about it because im slightly a misogynist and havent been around people for over a fourth of my life at this point. I dont really care if im perceived as a male or female bc im a weirdo so i dont fit into any slot regardless. I don't think i particularly get treated as a "man" even by my own family. I'm just kinda "the weirdo" which is a nongendered characterization..And also internally i have no desire to be anyone else. I just wish i were a better version of myself.The only reason i want hrt is to be cuter since i consider cuteness as a virtue especially for men.Im also like a rudimentalist or whatever you'd call it. I think having good looks is worth more than passing. If you pass as an ugly woman why even bother. Would much rather be a cute tall twinkhon with quarterback shoulder width.
>>43045012The cycles of guilt:
>>43045012Uhhh wait a minute, I’ve definitely seen this thread last year. Were you piggybacking off of another poster who was using the cruelty squad pic??
>>43045051Nope. I wasn't even using the board a year ago
>>43045022>I don’t care how I’m perceived>I don’t care about being anyone else>I want to be cuter for myself and improve myself Ok I think I see the logic, so your goal is to be generally cuter in your own eyes. I don’t desire to be anyone else necessarily either. If you could push a button and have a vagina/cis female body but retain your personhood, what would you do?
>>43045076Would not press it. Would probably still consider taking fagpills as a cis male.
>>43043780ok tranny
>>43043780>I will learn to accept that I am a cis manIf you need to learn to accept that, then you're not really cis
>>43045081>>43045155Why so confident?
>>43045171Walk up to a carpenter you're gonna get wood
>>43045183Carpenter should actually make carpets
>>43045171Well: OP clearly isn't confident, so someone gotta be
>>43045171Key phrase is “learn to accept” and further evidence is posting about it constantly…>>43045080Cool, based. I would be this way if I could get rid of sex dysphoria and the constant urge to mate with males. Have you tried looksmaxxing/twinkmaxxing?
>>43045202Currently trying both but i have dysgenic sub5 genetics.Phrasing it as "mating" with men is a pretty spicy way to put it wtf.
>>43045193>>43045202I'm confident that I'm cis, even though I'm in denial of itI'd even say I'm quite determined to achieve my goal of internalizing and accepting my cisness
>>43045216>>43045216 #Sorry I know, I would only call it that in online spaces. I just don’t know how else to distinguish it from the urge to have gay anal sex with men or even to have SRS sex. It’s an instinct for PIV pair bonding with good, trustworthy man. It takes over my whole body when I meet one and I hate it but it’s hard to describe how animal the instinct feels and how distant it feels from normal spicy desire or fetish.The only upside is that it makes me feel valid and not faketrans, I’ve been dealing with it my whole life and it became way worse after HRT. It’s torturous but also makes me not want to kill myself for being AGP, because it is very much focused on them as men, my self image only enters the picture when I have to confront the fact that my instincts and body don’t match, or when a man starts getting close/interested and I disclose to him because I don’t want to get murdered.Fuck I talk too much and yes I’m weird, I’m sorry. I’ve been spiraling this week and this is the only place I feel somewhat normal and understood…
>>43045252>I'm confident that I'm cisClearly notBut you're probably just trolling anyway
>>43045252Well shit I’m confident that I’m cis too but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to take HRT to make my life more manageable. I repped for 10 fucking years after first coming out to friends and family and not one fucking day was worth it.How old are you OP? When did you start getting tranny or gay thoughts?
>>43045290I mean that sounds based i just cant relate. I've been too traumatized by years where days happen and days where nothing happens that i cant even form a desire to be in a relationship with anyone for any reason.
>>43045308>How old are you OP?I'm currently 21 and all this mess started at 19 for me
>>43047189you got this
>>43047207In what way?
>>43043780Or maybe you need to accept that you arent?
>>43047207not OP but is 21 young enough to still be in the “it’ll probably be alright” range to start at
>>43049492I'm 21, 95lbs, 5'6 and i never starting
>>43049532How tf are you only 95lbs at 5'6"? That's dangerously underweight
>>43049549I used to weigh more but became lowk an alcoholic innthe last 2 months and also still exercise to stay sane so i dropped im weight.I think i might be a bit smaller than 5'6 too? Idk probably coping.I hadnt fainted yet or anything so i assume its ok.
>>43049560You really should eat more
>>43049599I should.I just dont have the apetite.
>>43043780you fuciing pass you whore kill yourself
>>43050016Are you who I think you are? Also, no, I don't pass
>>43050054Fuck you bitchYou will never be a cis man
>>43050136Nuh uh
Cissify this tranny. We need a cis woman to boyrestore her.
>>43050054i don’t interact with ur threads anymore because i don’t like you so no
>>43050604I'm pretty sure I know know who you are. I genuinely wish you all the best and hope you'll have a nice life
I know how you feel. I too wish I was women or trans enough . But I'm a peasant man
>>43050851idk who ur thinking abt but this is M lmfaoyou too, though. hope you have good life
>>43051066I'm still bummed out you deleted the music recs you sent me
>>43051149oh i’m surprised that you actually wanted to listen to desu. i could send some again but errrrrr i’m still going through the motions
>>43051363Don't worry, there's no pressure, nor would I want you to reach out again if you're uncomfortable with it
