I'm a very lonely person. Mostly by choice, I'm too ashamed to make everlasting connections. A bit selfish too. I'm stuck in my head and I sometimes think the only way out is suicide. I just want the tranny thoughts to go away, I thought transition would help but I just don't feel like one, I don't look like one enough to be treated like one. I can't embody it. I grew up very male brained and repressing my gay and tranny thoughts. I wanted to make my father proud even tho he wasn't worth it. I see the difference between me and real women, even other trannies and I see a mental block I'm not very willing to overcome. It's all embarrassing and I want it to end.
I feel the exact same way. I blame the lead-infested groundwater.
>>43059202The differences between you and real women cant be that bad because you are oneBut that mental block sucks bad. You probably want to talk to a proffesional if it's possible for you, but know that that unbearable imposter syndrome and feeling like you can't embody being a woman no matter how much you want to because you're just raised too boy is really common. For a practical idea maybe try to act out some hyperfem character from a show you like. Roleplay moving like her and talk to yourself like her. For me it's Marin from dressup darling. That got me over some barriers, because i'm better at acting than being myself but feminine. But it got me comfortable with acting girly.I don't think tranny thoughts go away, but I think they can be good thoughts instead of bad ones if you can manage to stop seeing it as a bad thing. Being a girl rocks. You get to spin in dresses.
>>43062116this is retard gooner behavior. being a girl isnt an act, it is a body. don't listen to her OP
>>43062116has to be a psyop post. reddit spacing is very suspicious
>>43062116Look i was bald with a big beard a few months ago. I have wide shoulders and just enough muscle from lifting to have a very masculine frame but i'm fat enough that muscle mommy is faaaar off the table. I was raised in a town that (and this literally did happen) disregards your opinion for wearing very normal looking pink headphones. If i bent my wrist slightly wrong growing up i would be called a slur, so all my mannerisms and hobbies default to extremely masculine. I need to actively force myself to not feel shame when i dress up or hide behind "oh its just a joke crossdressing is funny haha"And you know what in spite of all that i still look cute as hell in a skirt sometimes. I still hate how i look, but i'm seeing glimpses of looking how i want. It's going to be a long road, but i know i'll get there and just need to wait it out. I know that if I keep at it that kickback i feel when acting fem that was programmed into me as a kid will fade because i didn't back down.No matter how much you feel like a fake woman, if i can be one then you can too.
>>43059202Stop posting about me
>>43059202Take your pills and go to therapy OP. I was in a similar situation at some point
>>43062249Sweetheart that's my story, my social context involved adult sanctioned violence against gender non-conforming kids, and the only thing that saved me was being bigger and stronger than the other kids. You can't have been on HRT very long tho, you should be starting to get the early transition euphoria now that your hormones are rebalancing. Have your nipples started hurting yet?
