>>43062687
Idk i am/was the same, not gay tho.

Half a year on estrogen now. Sometimes its effects make me super happy and sometimes im scared im actually cis and will have to eventually bother with detransing/top surgery.

So yeah idk, i can only tell you that it probably doesnt go away. I was vaguely jealous of girls/thought they were just better than guys for, idk maybe almost as long as i can remember?

It doesnt get better. It got worse actually when i properly learned about trans women and transition timelines and stuff hurt extra bad.

So idk i cant help you. No clue if im trans or i just psyopped myself. But i can tell you that it probably wont get better lol. And HRT at least i now *sometimes* like myself, compared to never before.

Idk im just going around repper-adjacent threads and shitting them up with my own stuff lol. I hope u dont mind too much lol.

>>43063358
i dont mind at all, thank you for responding
i was transitioning for around 9 months but i decided to stop since i realised i was never going to pass (voice or face or body or anything) and i think i might be cis but i get bad bad jealousy from women
im young so i could transition and maybe shoot for being a twinkhon but its not worth it to completely upend my identity, put my rights at risk, and be seen as a freak by many more if i wont even pass well imo

>>43063513
Idk maybe you should consider it...

Idk how young you are but im about to turn 25 in a few months and im closing in on 6 months hrt.

Im still scared i might be cis and fucking stuff up now. But i know for a fact that right now i wish i had transitioned at like 18, 20, or even 22. Stupidly i also COULD HAVE, i was actively considering being trans/repping for the last 7 years...

Thats also why i might just stick to it. I regret not doing it earlier, in all likelihood i would regret stopping now when im 30 i think. So fuck it we ball ig.

Also, while idk if i am straight (i mostly just dont care i think), i can def pass for just a 100% normal straight cis guy (tho introverted and a bit autistic). So im a *lil* surprised you are afraid of losing your rights/being a freak lol.

Like i get it being trans in the current political climate is a lot harder than being gay even. Buuuuuut like idk, you are already queer one way or the other lol. Im also afraid of this stuff but i feel like i have a better claim to it bc my other choice of identity/existence is 100% socially acceptable instead of like 70-80% like yours lol.

>>43063792
i dont know..
my voice is awful and constantly smoking isnt doing it any favors, and i dont think i could pass if i started anyways so it really isnt worth it
even if i could afford ffs i think id still be fucked honestly and dating would be hell
im just not sure if its worth it, i could probably live fine as a guy its just a real shame i didnt win that coin flip yk?

3.5 years hrt as a twinkmaxxinh hrtrepper manmoding gay-to-gayer transitioner and it's whatever sort of mid i wish i just stayed a gay guy but i tried to detrans and the dysphoria is too bad unfortunately im completely unpassable!!!!!

>>43064151
I agree, i also think its a shame i didnt win that coinflip, id likely be much better off if i did i think.

Im also not sure it worth it. But idk, i always hated how i looked anyways, but now sometimes i like how i look. Not often, but sometimes. And ill prob not pass but at least i can get closer to what i apparently prefer to be like?

So yeah idk if its worth it either lol. But, assuming you are younger, its not really worth gambling on these thoughts like envy of women going away.

Thats not really what i was doing while i was repping, but it didnt happen anyways. You'll just get older anyways and then passing will be even harder and you will regret not getting anything like the life and body you actually want/would prefer in those years where you didnt do anything.

Idk, it all sucks lol. I might sound extremely certain rn but i also have no guarantee i wont end up like you and stop in a couple of months because i could prob also life fine enough as a guy. Or ill stop because im not certain enough that its worth it or that im trans enough to keep going without fearing that i might be growing tits i hate lol.

I just kinda know that i regret not doing it earlier, and im gambling on that staying the case into the future because it already has for the last 7 years. And i do occasionally feel better about myself now in ways i never have before.

Like, its scary, because its big changes, but at least its one i could see myself actually enjoying. Before this i was just kinda rotting away and accepting that every day i would like my body a little less. Now im scared and anxious but it seems like, so far, in spite of that, every day i might like my body a little more.

Ig im just taking doing sth and possibly regretting it over inaction and later regretting that rn.

Idek what im writing anymore lol, prob incoherent, its late where i am. I just wish you the best and hope you can figure out what you need <3. Eventho idek how to do that myself yet lol.

>>43062687
As a gay man, you're at least given the privilege of being treated like an equal from your partner and you won't have to go through many trials to find it.
Although, I know for trans women that is a rite of passage and they crave to be dehumanized and objectified by a man for validation, but it really doesn't feel great to be honest.
Oh well, what do I know? Maybe I just think the grass is greener on the other side, because I assume you can at least achieve harmony easier as two men and not one man one woman.

>>43067325
Anyway my point is that being a beautiful woman probably doesn't give her the privileges and respect she deserves as a human being, in fact she might be treated worse because of envy from others or to be treated as something desirable, as an "object" to fight for.
A desire without respect and understanding that she is a human being with thoughts and feelings too. It feels very cold and empty, like there is nobody to trust or to feel loved by when all they see is the pretty packaging. It sucks.
I think men and women both have it bad in different yet equal ways. All frustrations are valid, but I don't believe there is a better sex to be.

>>43067325
>>43067349
honestly yeah thatd be another con for transitioning, just being a woman nowadays is an invitation to beng treated like garbage and disrespected, not that many people really respect me since im just kind of a loser but i think itd be worse with transition
couple that with the stuff thats going on with trans people around the world and the fact that i live in republican nowhere usa and its hard enough to be open about being gay so being openly transgender would be impossible

>>43063358
I think I know you. Does your discord username begin with "My-"?

>>43069622
Oh fuck it actually does lol. And im pretty sure there is only one /lgbt/ user that knows my discord handle...

So either this is a massive coincidence or i also know who you are lol.

>>43069929
If im correct about who you are then your display name on discord is some unpronounceable squiggly symbol... thingy, am i right :P?

>>43064345
this