I think its kinda evil actually that I didnt even get to experience being a twink before starting HRT, and afterwards Im just uglyEven though Im not a heighthon, my face and build absolutely sucks and Ill probably never pass even with surgeries and Im only 20Genuinely why shouldnt I just kill myself
if you die now, your memorial will have the photo of a disgusting hon. if you live you at least have a chance to look better for eternity.
>>43068283If I die Ill be dead and wont need to suffer existing further with my body and face
>>43068189Because passing is not the be all end all. I do not pass, and the fact I don't makes me deeply suicidal at times. This is an entirely reasonable feeling to have. It is also true that my inability to pass is caused by circumstances I can change, and that changing those circumstances could also benefit me in multiple other ways. Instead of thinking, 'I can't pass' think, 'What would it take me to pass?' You should also think about if there's other big issues plaguing your life. I found for a long time that I wasn't willing to try womanmoding or andromoding because I was so insecure. While yeah, some of that insecurity came from my own gender dysphoria, a lot of it came from own dissatisfaction with my life and myself as a person. I believed I had no redeeming qualities and so even if people could look past my appearance, they'd still end up disliking me. Because of it, I didn't even try to present myself the way I wanted because I figured people would discredit me regardless. There was regrettably some truth to this, and I had a great deal of work to do before I could find friends and establish a proper social circle. We're all complicated people. I imagine you have a lot going on outside of your transition troubles. If you can focus on fixing your other messes, transitioning will become a lot easier. Yes, I still don't pass, but I've come a lot closer the past couple weeks. Every day, you are closer to passing than you've ever been. Hold hope nona, you'll figure yourself out :>
>>43068612But I want to be beautiful, which non passing makes impossible
>>43068733You can still pass. It's not over until that bell rings!
>>43068750I have a disgusting body, caveman face and live in a poor shithole of a non developed countryIll never pass or have enough money for FFS and like 10 other necessary surgeries, of which none are covered by any insurance Maybe my fate really is suicide
>>43068760And there's problem one. You live in a country that isn't conducive to those things. Consider that your first obstacle.
>>43068189twin just another me
>>43068802Im a useless fucking retard without a job or education Ill never make it out of here
>>43068805Called ugly and was friendless before HRTCalled ugly and is friendless after HRTMy life is a cosmic level of torture
>>43068733you can be a beautiful twinkhon
>>43069311and why was HRT supposed to magically solve this? you have to actually put in the work. Nobody is lining up to be your friend just because you have deformed little conetits and soft skin now
>>43068189I feel the exact same way
>>43068733People find twinkhons beautifulThis place is loaded with bisexual males and one of their favorite flavors is visibly trans male
>>43070502>shows "Beutiful twinkhon">is passing pretty womanPeople will never understand the pain of the real twinkhons that just look like a teenage boy with long hair.
>>43071409>no hips>shoulderhon>long mid face>big feet/handsshe is just effortmaxing
>>43070502>just be a catwalk model bro
>>43071675female models usually have twinkhon body (because designers are gay men with zero interest in the female body)
>>43071545Ok looks a bit worse from that angle, but the coat is so big I can't make judgments about the body.
>>43071731this is the only other pic of her I have foldered
>>43071752>>43071692>>43071545>>43070502This literally just looks like a woman dudeIm not so lucky at all, my face is ugly and clearly masculine in a manly way not a twink or womanly wayI hate you>>43070512Because nobody wants to be friends with an ugly jobless loner without social skills or hobbiesGenuinely what do you want from meI thought HRT would at least help me in the looks department which could snowball other aspects at least a little but nothing happened and now Im still the same I was before
>>43072089yea thats how it works. Im 10 years hrt. Still look like a man. The point of hrt is to stop damage from T and maybe get some tits. I want you to put your ass out there and get some friends.
>>43072147>Im 10 years hrt. Still look like a man.Suicide fuelIm just going to kill myself Im way past my limits
>>43072186we both know you wont
>>43068189You would never have been a twink if you're ugly, but sure make up more imaginary worlds and pretend they were stolen from you now that the consequences of your actions are all you have
>>43073368How the fuck is it my fault Im uglyI cant choose genetics
