Friday night edition>QOTT1: what are you playing>QOTT2: what are you watching>QOTT3: what are you eatingand most importantly>QOTT4: what are you drinking
>>43076593take your HRT, retards
>>43076607make me...
don't take hrt and let yourself be effeminately gay!!!
>>43076593QOTT:1. Slay The Spire and minesweeper, I wanted to play the first before trying out the sequel2. Family Guy at 1.7x speed, I'm on s10e13. Honeycrisp apple4. Protein shake and waterI don't even feel human. I'm an affront to god, if he even exists. The sheer disillusionment I feel due to my circumstances are so bafflingly comical that I must be living in some kind of reality TV Truman Show psyop. I'm turning the gym and minoxidil beard copes up to eleven. I've been getting lazy with the buzz cuts and I'm start looking like Richie from The Bear. Not good. The vascularity I've acquired on my legs is actually unreal. I look like that photo of Cristiano Ronaldo after the sauna. I couldn't hide the veins unless I became like 30% body fat. The only thing I refuse to do is drink or smoke, otherwise, I will continue to become unambiguously male in order to inevitably make repping my only option.
>>43076593>QOTT1: what are you playingOverwatch>QOTT2: what are you watchingNothing>QOTT3: what are you eatingHomemade pastaand most importantly>QOTT4: what are you drinking$5 MerlotWho wants to be original, when you can just be stereotypical? I wish it was possible, for me to become fuckable. I have no choice, I must be one of the boys.
>>43076593close to 100%ing balatro, otherwise csbaseball is finally backmade some veggie fry tonight that was finewater, am on timeout from the fun stuff because i've been doing a bad job of not blacking out lately>>43076607no <3>>43078237i'm trying!!!
>>43076593>QOTTmorrowindtrailer park boysbagel (toasted, cream cheese)coke zeroplease don't triangulate and dox me with this thank you
>>43076593>QOTT1: what are you playingffxiv because it lets live out my dreams of being a smol princess>QOTT2: what are you watchingold zelda let’s plays from 10+ years ago>QOTT3: what are you eatingmicrowave dinner. tastes okay after adding some salt and pepperand most importantly>QOTT4: what are you drinkingwater, though i’d be lying if i said that i was thinking about something sweet
>>43076593beer
>>43078393answer to all four QOTT
>>43078237Gross
>>43078375You're posting this from Rat in the Pot, and the Dunmer can smell your aspartame.
>>430765931: Star Wars Empire at War Thrawn's Revenge mod, as I have been for 20 years (Eriadu gang represent)2: Frieren, also this German show called Deutschland 83, fun spy shit3: A succulent Chinese meal4: THC pop, strawberry kiwi>>43076607I did. It didn't help. Less body hair was nice, but other than that I changed minimally over three years. Even with all the work I did on myself, the carefully curated exercise and diet, the attempts at socially training and integration, the more I did the more it became apparent how much I was not female.To truly be a woman is to be one effortlessly. Oh, I know that there's a lot of work that women do to make themselves acceptable to the society around them, far more than men. But, even if they stopped trying, they would still be a woman. No matter how hard I tried, went through the motions, did my best to live up to expectations, underneath it all I would always just be a man pretending, in my eyes and in the eyes of everyone around me.At least now I'm not seen like a freak, just an average slob. Good enough for me til the next life.
>>43076593fatguy is a repper?
I feel so miserable every single day
i need to stop taking hrt im not a tranny this failed experiment gone on too long i need to stop and learn to love myself and my body / face
Are there really people here who.>Don't take HRT despite knowing they're trans>Don't do anything at all despite knowing they're trans>Continue to live life as a man with testosterone >Also post here about it?Sorry this is my first time coming in here. How many people are like this here?
>>43079848yes that is the idea
>>43079848>Don't take HRT despite knowing they're transFor some people it is easier than others. Typically due to financial reasons or not having access to crypto to buy diy or long wait lists for gender care. Or even the fact that starting hrt would put them at risk.>Don't do anything at all despite knowing they're transYes. When I found out I was trans I didn’t do anything about it because I was too fucking depressed and unknowingly self harming myself by pretending to be comfortable living as a boy.>Continue to live life as a man with testosteroneWell, testosterone fucks us up right from the start. >Also post here about it?Yes. I got heavily addicted to this site.
>>43079848Trans is more of a social construct If your society doesn't talk about transness you just have a bunch of weird symptoms
>>43079848>just be a hon bro
>>43079848I've tried hrt but I had to stop because of reasons
>>43079848It's more complicated than "know they're trans". Like the other anon said, the concept of "trans" is a social construct that can apply to people with many different issues (or non-issues).Like, I have a strong emotional need to be seen as a woman, but most of the time it doesn't really bother me to be seen as a man. It's like if you really crave a pizza but can only afford a tomato sandwhich for dinner. It's good enough, I guess. That is, unless that time of year comes around when I have a total mental breakdown over it for a couple of weeks and do a bunch of regrettable stuff before eventually reverting back to normal.
if you're dysphoric about not being a woman, have you tried growing your hair out or developing gyno on your massive male chest?
>>43080029no but I probably should honestly
>>43080029Yeah but it terrifies me because I loose my plausible deniability and respect as a person
>>43079848
>>43080052>j50 meme>"valid">developing DID as an adultThis post just screams retardation.
>>430765931.playing music cant skyrim or morr in looney bin2.not watching tv is evil3.eat vegfies other wont and rice or corn wafers4.i drink coffee water and low fat cocoa. used to drink cheap dake coca cola loght melon oh i mean leon fugg lemon
>>43079848>Don't do anythingi shave face and body, have long hair, waear slim fit androgynius clothes and walk like girl and talk with hands. use drugs and likes to cope
just some good music for fellow reppershttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wT_ObQMSs3U
>>43079848yep!>>43079997this
i need to figure out how to not be depressed about being alone but i'm not sure that's possible
>>43079848yeah, this is the gen for usit's pretty miserable, definitely would not recommend if you have any other choice
>>43076593How do you people consciously repressI spent a lot of time doing what I would describe as "deeprepping" but joining forums *for repressers* seems to be counterproductive to this
I miss when trannys weren't being talked about and seeing one was a rare occurrence. It was easy to keep the thoughts at bay.
>>43080458>but joining forums *for repressers* seems to be counterproductive to thisits a cope and like solidarity or something. I started posting in /lgbt/ on gaygen anyway when i was younger and i'm still a massive queer no matter what. It doesn't go away just because you stop using the internet. Its worst for me when i'm out in public shopping or whatever and I get jealous of the existence of cis women.
>>43080486I see about 5-10 on average per day.
>>43080458deeorepping as in brainwashing yourself into cis? too late cant unscramlke an egg.not even in reddit speach. like infohazard or infochance. brainworm is terminal. ooo you know it so well
i am so unhappy
>Think about getting a job so I can maybe make enough money to move out and transition>wait I'm a 34 year old NEET shut in with no work experience or license>give up
>>43076607This advice nearly ruined my life
>>43079848You see, for various cultural, social, and personal reasons I invested hard into repping until it was too late and now I can't pass so it's just a cycle of misery. I think I'm stupid for it, but a lot of blame is going to fall at the feet of how society looked at trans people when I was younger (sadly not getting any better in the US.)
Real tired of having transition dreams
>>43082126I had a post SRS dream once where i was all bandaged up... and i liked it. o_0
>>43082326I had a dream were I had my period and everyone in my family wanted to help but I was too embarrassed so I just hid on the bathroom and look at my crotch which was a vagina. That was days before starting taking hrt experimentallyI didn’t even cry or anything it was so…numbing to know.
I wish I repressed abd didnt take hrt just so I can start looking more feminine and failing at that tooI’m just a creature now o have to pretend im human and sometimes pretend im trans to people…it sucks cause they treat me fairly abd Im like…yo Im a dude Im lying to youuuu lol
wish hrt did anything at alllll so so so lonely help
>>43076593>QOTT1: what are you playingturtlewow hardcore mode>QOTT2: what are you watchingwatching random videos on paranormal stuff on yt>QOTT3: what are you eatingchinese take out>QOTT4: what are you drinkinglavender tea cause I'm still hungover from yesterday
>>43082618I've got some b cup spaced a mile apart on my gorilla frame, I wish it did less
>>43083354ha ha ha i have at best a cup if not less on my wider frame at least e works for oyu somehow unlike me
>>43076593what do you guys mean by repressing like as in "I'm not transitioning yet I'm holding it in?"
>>43082473me if i ever told anyone
>>43083561im transitioning but nobody knows hrt has no visible effects on my body at all and i will never girlmode
Nothing in my life goes how I wanted it to go, I feel like an utter failureI don't know if I want to be a girl but I'm sure I don't wanna live like that anymore
>>43082126Had a strange one tonight about being forced to wear makeup and mailfailing because of it. But it was not a euphoric or arousing dream at alm, felt more like a humiliation ritual
>>43083724same here anon senpaiI look at my life and just see disaster after disasterim not sure what to do now. i look at my life and it's like looking at a pile of flaming wreckage mixed with hot garbage and carcasses strewn about
I should probably stop gooning to gender TF chatbots so much
i want to die so much im so lonely i havent talked to anyone today at all like most days sh it is
I had the talk with my partner, they´re accepting and excited; I'm excited and frightened. So, what the hell do I do now?
>>43084670oh my god what are you doing here i cant hate you more
>>43084670A man can only be brave when he's afraid
>>43084746If it makes you feel any better it is GOOD and HALAL for my family to honor kill me>>43085034That´s what I said to the army shrink but she didn´t buy it.
>>43085067can I honour kill you? uwu?
>>43076607i doa microdose but still>>43080107>fugg lemon0_0;;
why can't the time ever be right
>>43085067where are you? can you kill mecan anyone at all kill me i want to die please
>>43085143What does microfosing do for youDoes your dick workHow big are your boobsWhere did you get the stuffI want to do it
>>43084670Kill your partner. Nobody can know.
>>43085091Any other time would´ve been fine, but I´m currently using my life as a bargaining chip to get healthcare so you´ll have to take it another time desu>>43085201It´s too late, they made me spill the beans and implicate others in my conspiracy to commit gender
>>43085222>conspiracy to commit genderI'm gonna steal this
>>43085244You´re part of the conspiracy too now, you know.
it's crazy the only thing to do in life is stew in your own discontent and misery
>>43086259and goon
>>43086259and drink
>>43080579that's insane, where do you even live?
>>43083561repressing dysphoria instead of expressing it by transitioning>>43083666YWNBAR
reppies if a tranny asked to suck your dick would you let her?
>>43087666I would start crying
>>43076607HRT won't unrape me or turn everyone into an anthro woman.
>>43086259and smoke
i get waiting for godot now i finally get it
>>43087666
>>43087753>possum with pink ears (should be black with maaaybe white tips)>bat with six limbs (the wings aren't just part of the arms)as i said last time, i still love this artist's style but c'mon, those are two anthro pet peeves of mine
>>43087753god I wish I were a possum girl or a bat girl
>>43087806How do you know what anthros should look like...
what if instead reppers were called temporarily embarrassed transgenders
>>43088602Accurate but not as catchy
>>43088602"Transgender" is an extremely unhelpful and unscientific term.
>>43076593>QOTT4see: >>43088970
>>43088602i would be a lot more embarrassed if i was visibly trans
>>43080367Boner lol
>>43088602I'm permanently embarassed unfortunately
wow I wasn't trans after all. I just needed to pick up more hobbies, work out 3x a week minimum, and pick up some university classes. Pseudo-dysphoria is at an all time low and comorbid depression is down also. Based.
>>43080514How do you cope with male aging?
>>43089389Pretty much. For me, it kinda hit me when I figured out that I hated the idea of "coming out" and actually transitioning in real life, that it is truly just a fantasy for me. The only time I genuinely get melancholic over gender shit is when my arousal drowns out my inhibitions and critical thinking.
>>43089425how do you cope with regular aging? getting old and decrepit sucks regardless of what your face looks like
being an anime girl sounds nice
>>43087641NTA but I live in Melbourne Australia and I see them all the time. You could definitely see that many if you lived / worked in one of the LGBT enclaves near the middle of the city. They tend to congregate.
crying in bed and wishing i was fuckinggg dead god
has anyone here had a good relationship with a gf?
>>43091255Never had one
>>43089425i dont think about it day to day >>43091255>gf?lol
hrt ruined my orgasms, it's just boring and dry before a little prostate fluid leaks out five minutes later
I can't transition because trans people gross me out. Like even passoids. When I think about them, like would I date them, or would I even want to interact with them, I just get grossed out. Even though I wish I was a cis woman
>>43089425Male aging looks worse with hdr
>>43087666You mean impersonally or after developing some kinda intimacy Former no I can't even hug someone without having a good relationship with them latter maybe for the novelty but I don't like stimulation around the circumference of my penis other intimate would be nice even just being friends with someone
>>43090603It really does anon. Knowing I can't ever have it, and that every time I look in a mirror I see a square-faced giant skulled man looking back, it's demoralizing. my skull is so tall and wide. Even the fucking gender swap app doesn't help. truly goddamn over
>>43086273>>43086298>>43087784siblings!>>43088602painfully acurerate. gyno boib tissue got bigger from antypsychotics in looney bin. still dysphoric. naybe i will go full troon... somewhat i came out to mom and shes fine with me troonin...
og ahiv111th accodentally touched and ooooh fooooook
>>43091255Yes a great relationship, but she's bisexual and we only have regular straight sex, and ive only talked to her about gender stuff 3 times while drunk and didn't do a very good job explaining it
>>43092450You can’t deny that always try to escapehttps://youtu.be/mAsUE5mDNp0?si=KDeX80moldElllD8
>>43089425It's honestly easier. I have some smile wrinkles that seem to get a bit deeper every year. Very early onset, because I smile a lot. I learned as a kid that if you smile really hard it prevents you from crying. Boys don't cry. Anyway, I don't mind aging because looking good is a lost cause anyway. It's already hopeless. But if I had transitioned and put a great deal of effort into my appearance, those same wrinkles would have cut much deeper. The more you have the more you have to lose.
>>43092768>You can’t deny that always try to escapewhat now
>>43092846perhaps bone structure giving you permasmile resting face. common around mediterrean sea and eastwards a bit. or some sort of spooky Smile if you get what i mean. if so blessed you are
i dont think im transi have dealt with severe self hatred that made it so i couldnt look in the mirror or at pictures of me until i presented more androgynous/effeminately sure and im horrified of aging into a male but i dont think this is enough. i only started getting debilitating trans thoughts after going through some trauma some months back, before that it was always just a curiousity. i also think im in arrested development and cant imagine a world where im not cute anymore. this and i have bpd and a constantly changing sense of self makes me think i really dont have dysphoria and im just going after something that seems kind of interesting to cling to some sort of identity that feels appealing instead of growing up, realizing im going to have to be a man and learn to love myself unconditionally.anyone else struggle with something like this?
Is HRT+SRS vagina anywhere near close to a real vagina in daily life? If not, then at least in sex or even masturbation?
>>43093813just to add to this because it makes me sound like a peter pan syndrome fucker: i agonize about aging into being a man every single day. i know i cant be a gay looking twink forever so aging into being a woman, even if clocky, seems preferable. especially considering my face and ill look weird as an aged man. regardless i welcome anyone to call me a fake trans.
>>43093813Im pretty sure that's just how most of us feel
>>43093813>cant imagine a world where im not cute anymore. this and i have bpd and a constantly changing sense of self makes me think i really dont have dysphoriafeels. relate to first part. dysphoria is so bad now there is no denying it anymore. i am not dissociated anymore. behavioral effeminacy and androgynous presentation eases dysphoria and gives certain empowerement but makes you more alive and in touch with your feelings sooo dysphoria is worse, much worse. also you might have ocd ontop of dysphoria l...
>>43093813Depression fueled my dysphoric thoughts, normally I could do fine but falling all the way down mentally I just wanted to escape my life
>>43093813Every time someone makes one of these "guys I discovered I'm not trans, I just want/can do x to clear it up instead!" posts they inevitably come back a month or two later to bitch about how the dysphoria came back even worse. Every time it just ends up being some kind of desperate cope.
>>43094260it can even turn into tocd whitch is even worse than normal troon dysphoria. ones getting it are subby and were deeply repressed but sonething huge made them question. for me it took both dysphoriabfrom masculinizing and conjuring some eunuch society copes and all day half night daydreams if living as a woman. oh my sweet sweet daydreams... let the dream come true. fuck i want to be a woman sooo badly. sigh...
better luck next time
Every time a post comes up on X about how butches are also women and feminine and how masculine style accentuates female features, I want to kms because I wish it weren't so. I actually prefer the old people who go all>you're lesbian, you're basically a man nowbecause I'd gladly take on that role.I wish I were born a boy. It hurts so bad. My life is a joke because I feel like a man but must live the life of a woman. I will never be comfortable in my skin, I will never be a father, I will never win a competition against a guy, and I am a very competitive person. Things would have been easier if I were a doormat like those 'masc ftm trans men' on social media and didn't see things men do to affirm their gender role to me (the female) as a challenge.I am doomed to live, die, and be remembered as a female. I can see no way out.
god please just give me one day where things align and the time is right that's all i need
>>43093938I doubt there's a repper who had srs. Go ask in mefgen. There it's like the opposite of this gen, lol.
I think I'm improving mentally, like I'm coming back to life after experiencing ego death
>>43093813>>43094011>anyone else struggle with something like this?struggled. past tense.I just got on the juice to "hrtrep" and just not age like a moid.now (4yrs later) found bf who's into forcefem and yk what? Imma give this a shot. Scheduled for ffs in May.
Rogd is hellNo I don’t have itIm lyingI dont have gdI’m not a woman and I never tried to transition before intense adult porn delving into mef/agp shitI should stay as I was and detransition completely now.IwnbawI’m not even a trans woman. Not in a way that matters.
>>43095022>I will never win a competition against a guyI think this is doable
>>43096418The time is right to tell someone?Thats what im waiting for
>>43097141yesI have a very specific and stupid situation and that's the major bottleneck
>>43097159What's even scarier is when the time actually comes and you pussy out again
>>43097474haha yeah...
whats your best copes recently, need some to copy
>>43098806>ill get around to it
>>43098806alcoholanimemangacyoasdaydreaming
>>43098872>cyoasbasado
>>43087813oOoOoOoOo
>>43099632how come this never works
One of my favorite parts of the night is checking in on you miserable people to makes sure it always could have been worse
>>43099645Works on my machine.