23. Boymoder, no HRT, just fem clothing sometimes and I played it damn well my whole life. I came out sobbing to my Mom. She found my cross dressing attire and thought I was keeping it because I was a manwhore. Really hated that image so impulsively I just went FUCK IT. Let me come out -I explained the whole thing. At first accepting yada yada, "Emilia Perez is my favorite movie." Now she is literally so fucking depressed. "You won't make it past 50." "This is disgusting!" "YOU'RE A WEAK MAN!" She starts screaming when she is even near me over arbitrary things. "You will never be a woman!" She used to be a big "boymom" and have this clingy relationship with me - now its as if I don't exist and she doesn't even look at me. I got enough money to move out. I'm also going through waves of sadness at both the fact my Mom will never truly "love me." and imagining her grief knowing that her only "son" is a tranny. I'm so stubborn that I don't want to take back coming out but at the same time, just to calm her tf down, I may have to till I figure if I want to dip and move to TransSeattle and snort cocaine and chug e for the rest of my days.This is hilarious, but also sad - I'm too disassociated in general. I just want to live. Suggestions? We have slave-whipped my sperm donor (her husband) to pay off a house we live in under both of our names ... so me and my Mom both on a mortgage ... I know ... I'm a really dumb bitch for coming out ... I'm unemployed as well with a significant paralegal resume.
>>43082985why are you calling yourself boymoder if you arent on hrt
>>43082985>23yo dependent on mom>”boymom”>mom is divorced and mooches off husband rich enough to buy a house in ‘26>23 and not on hrtYou had a looong femboy phase didnt you
>>43082991Currently none. Experimented with DIY a few times. Stopped quickly because I like -
>>43083010I bought the house with my paralegal salary and other loot I got - I have like 40k in savings leftover ...
>>43083013then you arent a boymoder wtf
>american parents putting their own children on a fucking mortgage Do goyim really?
>>43083039START HRT
lol people are truly retarded and dramatic over nothingi would feel pity but she chose that fatei would say she never loved you and its time to move on, but ofc its your choice to try and convince her
>>43083116Nothing wrong with that
Dont fight for parents acceptance when they see you as an extension of themselves. Those are selfish types that care more about the image of you than about you. You have enough money to live without worries in some place like brazil or thailand, both have easy access to hrt. Anywhere is safer than USA rn, but goddamnit get on hrt already, diy or anything, bf you regret it, living in a degrading house gonna fuck your mind too.
>>43083082I'm really fucking stupid I'm sorry !!!
>>43082985Where are you right now? Would it be easier to find something closer to you? Or is it not safe there? It'd probably just be cheaper than going to seattle right away
>>43083183My words exactly, "dramatic over nothing."I ain't trying to convince her but it still makes me sad temporarily for a bit - then I go back to normal. Waves of sadness ...
>>43082985OP your mom sounds a little unstable and that’s ok. If you love her, take your leave, live your life for a bit and come back in a few years when you pass and you’re living as a woman full time. She should change her tune. She sounds like my mom; very emotional, very codependent on her child but loving deep down. Had a breakdown but now we go shopping together and she gives me her nice clothes and we talk openly about men. I guess I can’t guarantee this for you. I’m not telling you to go no contact just do your thing and she’ll get over it eventually. It is sad, I still grieve the impact I had on my parents lives, dashing their hopes for grandchildren and genetic lineage but I don’t know.
>>43083387New York. I am joking about TranSeattle. Likelier is some Bushwick place in Brooklyn. I got friends in Flatbush. So likelier in NYC, also more paralegal jobs there and I can then live an actual boymoder life on HRT ofc ... independent ... its just being dependent on my parents can make me save up and I really hate the idea of burning my 40K in savings just to transition ... I think I can rep for maybe a year more or so and save and then move ... but idk, ugggghhhh
>>43083439nta>I really hate the idea of burning my 40K in savings just to transitionThen this is the question you need to ask yourself: Do you really want this or not? And it's valid and OK if the answer is "no".I was a year older than you when I decided that, fuck it, I can afford this and I really want it. In the first 3 years, I regretted kinda, then I regretted not starting earlier.It's not a cheap project (when done right) and you are right to be concerned, especially of how your life looks like AFTER transition.Still, get on diy while you think about it and set your goals to at least prevent further damage. That part is cheap.
>>43083629I'm leaning towards this - tough, bumpy life, imma keep sailing. I am really weighing of how badly the regret is gonna be of "shoulda started earlier" vs being a broke bitch with no prospects. Regardless, the life is fucked but it is who I am ... just processing a lot, thx 2 everyone who responded ... all this made me feel a little less alone.
>>43083439Just diy, I get my hrt for like $800 per 9 months. Extra $200 for prog now. I assume ou make good money, it shouldn't be too hard for you after you find a place
>>43083039vroddie. you have forty THOUSAND dollars and you're still putting up with this shit? get a job and move the fuck to hackensack
>>43083013If you’re not on hrt you aren’t transgender Either get on hrt or kys
>>43083790To add, I did end up having a good post-transition life. But it did require planning.If you can work as a paralegal while trooning, then do that. And do your best to continue to save up and invest whenever possible.Life is long and a successful transition is just one project.Good luck!
>>43083827BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A RENTOID! but I'm afraid I must ... ;(
>>4308382740k really isn't much gotta have a good plan to not end up homeless in a few years
>>43083879you can work toward owning your own place, that your mom can't take 50% of. please, if you actually do this, move somewhere that has an established support structure for trans people. being alone in a new place would be hard enough. add starting hrt to the mix, and that's a maelstrom of emotional difficulty, kind of a recipe for detransition thoughbeit. do you have any friends or relatives that would be supportive, at least emotionally, who live somewhere that isn't awful to trans people?
>>43082985>She used to be a big "boymom" and have this clingy relationship with me - now its as if I don't exist and she doesn't even look at me.I know this exact feel. I'm sorry you're going through it. :(
>>43083933I have two enbies as friends. One is a bisexual theyfab who is pretty much living with their chud ice agent boyfriend and that boyfriend sees them as just "his girl" who he wants to ultimately convert to Catholicism.... and the other is a social recluse bisexual theymab ... none of them really "get it" in terms of being a trans woman ... but they have been my support and are the only people irl who affirm me.
>>43082985Honestly the modern approach to young adults coming out is just take HRT and don’t say anything till it comes too obvious your trans. Your mom would be more accepting if she knew you passed and there was nothing she could do to prevent you from already transitioning.
>>43084377the duality. it sounds like they need you as much as you need them. if you do decide to move, and you're going somewhere you don't know anyone, it should be new york. afaik it's the only state that includes gender identity as a protected class in the state constitution. it's the best state to legally transition (i.e. get document changes) as an adult, which also makes it the best state to work in as a trans person
>>43082985She has no power over you if you are a coowner of tje jowse
>>43082991>>43083082>>43083842can you not be this fucking autistic for one minute? be nice to OP.
>>43082985Come live with me, bb. May not live in new york, but it is certainly worse here
OP how does one get into being a paralegal?t.needs a jobAlso my mom reacted the same way pretty much. She keeps talking about how I "got sucked into the trans world" and seems to willfully misinterpret whatever I say about dysphoria. I hope things get better between you and her.
>>43086964paralegal got replaced by ai i think it sounds like op needs a new job too
>>43083823>per 9 monthsjesus fuck that's an insane cost what the hell are you buying
>>43084404>more acceptingyou dont know this stop making shit up, for all we know op's mom is one of those creepy psychos that treat their child like a partner and get all possessive and controlling
>>43087126It's FVCKING over how am I gonna get some experience in the field before committing to law school now
