Every single time I take LSD, I feel like it unearths a ton of repressed dysphoria, and while it all feels completely genuine, I'm still concerned that it may just be because of the LSD itself. I'm extremely anxious about it, in both parts because I'm afraid of how deep my dysphoria actually lies within me, but also because I'm afraid that I will one day realize it was all just the LSD and not my own agency that drove me to transition.Is this a valid concern for me to have? After all, I still think it's pretty insane for me to be so convinced that I am a woman "on the inside" or whatever the hell that even means. Is this enlightenment or is it insanity? (I'm currently tripping lol)
>>43084252you should only do mushrooms and ayahuasca and never ever EVER smoke government weed
>>43084252>mkultra'ing yourself
>>43084252LSD only shows you what’s already in your head and amplifies it.>I still think it's pretty insane for me to be so convinced that I am a woman "on the inside"It sounds like your ego is in conflict. For ego syntonic transsexuals, this is not considered insane - it’s considered the most normal and obvious thing.
>>43084252No, obviously not, but the fact that you're even asking this means you're already a burnout Druggies are so retardedHURR DURR I TOOK A DRUG THAT MAKES ME SEE AND THINK UNTRUE THINGS ARE THESE THINGS TRUE GUIZE HURR DURR
>>43084252the only drug you should trust is opioids
>>43084252drugs cant make you dysphorici thought we already covered this with mkultra>>43084317when i take alcohol i think about things differentlythey're framing it differently but it's not controversial to admit that drugs alter your immediate thoughts/feelings/perspectives
honestly psychs have always made me feel more in my body in a good waystrips away the dysphoria and just makes me feel like a womanits great
>>43084301My ego isn't in conflict over being a woman. That part is fully ego-syntonic.The conflict comes from the fact that I was able to repress it all that well. I'm both amazed and shocked by all the ways in which I've managed to keep myself oblivious to my own dysphoria, almost to the point of incredulity
>>43084522That's actually what they do for me as well, but it feels like a double edged sword, cause being reminded that I still have a male body in some ways is much more harrowing
>>43084498I've never done opiods. I've only ever done LSD, shrooms and weed. Are they worth trying?
>>43084317
>>43084579I think what I like most is that it shows my brain that I can view myself as a woman and be happy even with certain masculine physical attributes that would normally hurt meits basically like a hug for my gender identity
>>43084612>its basically like a hug for my gender identityIt really does feel like that, although that's also kinda what hurts so much in my case I feel like. Simply acknowledging that my gender identity really isn't in line with my physical reality just hurts ig
>>43084593I'll keep it real, they're only really worth trying if you've 100% given up on ever living life again.
>>43084602Is op having fun? Clearly not, in fact he is having a mental breakdown and regretting having ever done drugs
>>43084823That's quite bold of you to assume that I'm not having funI'm just externalizing some anxieties I keep having, and doing that in form of a thread here also keeps me a bit entertained
>>43084783Guess I'll reserve them for if I'll ever decide to kms. I'll try to make sure that'll never happen
>>43084252>trying to solidify identity >takes drug known to weaken sense of identityyour dysphoria is probably real and not because of the lsd but you definitely wont get closer to finding out by taking more. this type of soul searching should probably be done sober but if you are going to do something i find stimulants or GABAergics way more useful for this. you want something ego enhancing or something to quiet the worrying for a minute so you can actually engage with a more concrete identity for a minute instead of endlessly thinking of all of the different possibilities.
>>43085054I won't lie, I'm actually extremely scared that I'll somehow end up finding out that I was cis all along
>>43085273bitch that almost certainly means you're a tranny stop frying your brain and making yourself more confused
>>43085326>almost certainly Exactly. It's only almost certainly. Plus, how the fuck am I supposed to uphold the belief that I somehow am "a woman on the inside" or whatever when I know I'll never look like one. It just makes me feel so claustrophobic
bump
I get this with weed. But like It removes my dysphoria and I feel cis fem, and it takes away all my hangups and like defensive masculine habits.
>>43085468yeah same but like fuck it or whatever we can't keep living like this
Former acid head here. Psychedelics are pretty trustworthy in this regard, I think. They don't make you have thoughts and feelings about yourself that you didn't already have on some level. They can make you believe stupid shit about the nature of reality and turn you into a hippie, but the psychological insights tend to be a lot more grounded.
>>43085054Did you really just recommend stimulants and GABAergics for introspection? This is the most retarded drug addict shit I've read all day.
>>43086391True, but I won't lie that it's extremely exhausting just existing knowing your body opposes your identity
>>43086440not in conjunction but separately. also the GABAergics aren't for introspection necessarily their for lowering the anxiety threshold enough to feel comfortable playing around with your gender expression.
>>43086440retarded druggie shit is better than mainstream mental health shit THO
>>43086749>GABAergicsWhat kind of drugs are these besides alcohol?
>>43084293True. Aya is way more trust worthy then lsd or shrooms. Its the only one that feels compassionate and benevolent towards u. The other two feel like they are just taking you for a ride
happened to me as a repper also
>>43087249Too bad aya is much harder to get where I'm at than either shrooms or lsd
>>43087500Really? Typically There are many dmt containing plants you can get mailed to u legally. Its not hard to make at home.
>>43087509Oh, guess I'll have to look into it more then. I still know very little about DMT
>>43087582Dmt-nexus is a good starting website
>>43084301I must be an ego distonic transgender woman. I really don't like the 'woman' part of it
>>43087099benzos, gabapentin, high doses of progesterone kinda shockingly, im sure there are others
>>43088657>high doses of progesteroneonly orally tho
>>43088679interesting i wonder why
>>43088684because when you take it orally its broken down into allopregnanolone, but when you boof or inject it it just raises your hormone levels of progesterone
>>43088704very interesting
>>43088704Is this worth trying out?
>>43084317>HURR DURRare you 50?
>>43084252real knowers understand that being trans is just another story about a self that doesn’t exist.
>>43091090yea it feels pretty good. Really makes you want to cuddle though, so ig it could make you lonely. Just take like 500mg orally to start.
