I used to feel better when I didn't know how horrible I felt on testosterone Ignorance really is bliss
>>43091798castration machine
>>43091798Everything will be okay wagmi
>>43091798lol same
>>43091809It's genuinely insanely hard not to despair knowing how wrong my body feels now. Like, I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life. The mere thought makes me nauseous
>>43091904does it feel like your veins are filled with sand? For me its like all my blood is sand and on E its like someone took the sand out and i feel much more comfy.
>>43091945Not yet, cause estrogen is so slow to do anything. I still feel like I have to painfully and arduously scrape the sand out of my veins myself
>>43091798Desire truly is the root of all suffering
>>43091798>diet>sleep>exercise>mental state>social factorsall these (and many more) contribute to how someone feels on any given dayare you certain that you have carefully analyzed each one and successfully eliminated them, leaving "testosterone level" as the sole reason why you were "feeling horrible" during that period of your life?i highly doubt it and think that you want testosterone to be the answer, but w/e let's see if you are smart enough to create a response i havent heard from the troons that hang around here yet
>>43091798I want at least an orchi in case the state forces me to detransiton because I can't go back to dominant testosterone
>>43094182Well, no, I can't say I have truly done that, but the mere thought of going back testosterone, despite how benign and arbitrary that should be, fills me with immense dread and despair.I can't help but equate detransition with giving up on life, even if I don't understand why I feel this way
>>43091798How does it feel for you? I started detransitioning three weeks ago and I've mainly noticed that I get angry for no reason sometimes, my hair grows faster and I jerk off more. But I don't have that overwhelming sense of dread that I had before I started E for the first time, that seems to have gone away.
>>43094451Oh, I'm not detransitioning. I've done it in the past many times, but I never managed to stop for over 6 months. I can barely remember those month, so I guess I was probably dissociated.I do still consider detransition daily, but only for pragmatic reasons and because transition itself feels like a hopeless pipedream
