can i die with these
>>43092029this shit honestly so retarded
>>43092029never krill yourself
>>43092029no lmao. they know you're a sui risk
>>43092029No, sister. Keep intaking all them twice. <3
the second one from the left looks like itd give you earthbending powers
im only 125lbs. could i do a partial suspension from this bar? i have a 50lb resistance band and a belt and duct tape i could get on a chair then duct tape my arms and legs then shuffle off the chair and partial suspension hang. i haven't been involuntarily committed, ever, so i think i could try to buy the cheapest .22 handgun to test if i clear the back checks, then if im permitted to buy the cheap gun i can then proceed to buy a proper lethal firearm to perforate my head
i have chronic tinnitus, hyperacusis, chronic insomnia, major depression, autism, and cptsd. i have no goals for the future, they are buried under unending fatigue. im broke and i have no friends. i don't really care about my family's bereavement relative to the pain that has superceded my life. i want this constant exhaustion to end and ending my life will relieve everything. i want to find a way outi have prepared instructions and things:1. i am writing down instructions on how to access my passwords and get into accounts, including my phone. all data will be available to my family if they care to look.2. i have prepared instructions on what to do with my property and labeled its secondhand sale value3. i am leaving behind an old camcorder that has a vhs tape of me playing with toys as a toddler and my dad building legos with me and my mom holding me. there is not much evidence that i was a child. on my USB drive of data4. i am going to record videos of me talking at length about what i felt in my life and what i thought and try to articulate how i got to where i am. i am going to leave them on youtube and archive them on other video platforms. im going to reminisce about some memories i had with my family and friends so that they aren't forgotten when my brain dies so a fragment of my person will remain. i will also leave behind some drawings and schematics for a game and a story i rarely had the spike to work on, the only sort of good vapor in the pointless ocean that was my life. my mom tells me that she doesn't understand why i am so hard on myself and that she wishes i could see me from the outside but i cant tell her about how tired i am
>>43092166hanging sucks, don't do itt.knower
>>43092029uncertain... use a gun?>inb4 waaa ameritardbuy a 3d printer (won't even have to in most countries actually)or just jump off a cliff or hang urself on the next bridge if urgentjust stop attention seeking (and this is attention seeking, if you want results, ask on a medical forum or smth, what kinda answer you even expect from a japanese tranny image board?)
>>43092178where are you ? If you have the will to do all that before dying, you probably have it for living
>>43092189>jump off a cliffDon't know where to find one, and I don't know how to get into tall buildings>hang urself on the next bridge?? how
>>43092178what if suicide only starts the next cycle in the eternal recurrence of your life? people who create through suffering are capable of the most depth. don't snuff out the fire you have left
>>43092189there are somewhat tall cliffs at Discovery Park near me and there's also the Aurora Bridge which is a 165 foot drop. the suicide fence has a top bar that i could hook big rock climbing carabiniers that are attached to a nylon rescue ladder. i could probably surmount it easily before police intervened
>>43092258>people who create through suffering are capable of the most depth.nta but why does depth matter to you? it just makes connection harder. it's like you can still meet other shallow trawlers but once you've suffered deeply in a specific way there are very few people able to go deep sea diving with you. having that depth and being unable to share it without scaring people away is very lonely especially when that depth is where you feel alive and where your identity is locatedi have no resentment toward shallow normies. only people whose suffering is greater at the shallows are drawn to the depths. so there's no reason to idealize the depths either, that's idealizing suffering.
>>43092225bitch shut up>>43092258bitch shut the fuckk up
>>43092372that's exactly why it's so important for you to stay alive. there are so few of us in the depths, and it's very lonely. and there are so many shallow mud puddles that pretend to be deep simply because their bottoms are obscured. i am not a waterbug, a surface-skimmer, that can dwell in a shallow mud puddle. i am a monster that needs an abyss. please, be a place like that, for me. it also helps me not think about killing myself, when "a hand reaches off the page and grasps mine." to have a friend that one has never met is a rare power
>>43092258>people who create through suffering are capable of the most depthpeople who are suffering don't usually have the energy or drive>>43092189r u mad they're getting attention and ur not
after high school in 2017 i just stayed at my moms house and ive been sitting on 4chan and playing video games for the past 10 years. i never learned how to drive a car. i havent had a job for almost 2 yearsmy father never married or proposed to my mom and they separated before i was born my dad was in jail for most of my early life on account of my mom and dad having frequent violent altercations over their court custody agreement of me and my dad was dealing with my moms aggression until i was about 10 and i lived with my mom most of my adolescence because my mom found a sugar daddy to leech off of so i lived with her because she at least knew how to cook food and could afford me games and my dad and mom smoked weed a lot and in school i noticed that after i stopped putting in effort and not turning in homework or assignments they just kept passing me through the grades without holding me behind so i dissociated from school and i dissassociated at home because my mom would resent me for being my dad's son and my dad would resent me for living with my mom and my mom would make up stories about my dad to manipulate me into hating my dad so i would continue living with her and disgracing my dad and i think my parents cared more about hating each other than they did about raising me. i don't know what a verb or noun is or how to do algebra and i don't really know english grammar
>>43092436nta but "i'm also lonely and supremely unconfident and also wanna kms" isn't really much enticement to stay alive
>>43092479which is why the things they produce are more valuable. those who suffer understand the value of spent energy more keenly>>43092584what games do you like?
>>43092623why the needles, little porcupine?
>people who create through suffering are capable of the most depthi really do not think that this is true. reflexive cope peddled by the antisuicide lobby
I'm also considering finding a bridge or a treeyou shouldn't though. it'll only make it harder for me to kill myself only I'm allowed to kill myself
>>43092735beethoven could not have completed ecp if he had not lost his hearing; he would merely have been a descendent of haydn. the late string quartets transcend every zeitgeist. and even just to have the example of someone who creates through profound suffering can save a human life
>>43092817we're all the richer for beethoven's perseverance but it's not like he owed us that.suffering and perseverance for their own sake are too valorized.
>>43093166no, it's not owed. i wouldn't blame anyone for giving up. but most people never even have to ask themselves the question, of whether or not to give up. surviving that crucible gives a person something more than talent
>>43092029>HydrOXYzine>TraZODonewhy they write it like that
>>43092709>posts such a cute reply that i felt a twinge of regret for my post...
>>43093532we spiky, spiny, prickly things have to stick together. schopenhauer called it a "dilemma," but really; who could love a hedgehog but a porcupine?
>>43092178The chances of life becoming good are low, but NEVER zero. There is so much to live for. The only thing on your list I don't share is autism but I do have the comorbid ADHD, and I have been at rock bottom where you are. I don't know you, I don't know your struggle, I don't know the road you walked to get here but I know, with certainty, that if you wanted to die you would have simply done it--telling anyone about it means you have doubts, it means some small part of you wants to keep living. Please, please keep living.
>>43092436<3
Why do people do all this hanging and cutting and other stuff that's painful beyond anything we can imagine instead of just ODing on fent?
you like hydroxyzine? i take for insomnia but m thinking of quitting it just cause. it kinda gives me a fog 3 hours into the next day and i dont wnt alzheimers even tho its supposed to be a less alzheimers version of something similar
Don't commit suicide!! I got banned once for telling someone to commit suicide so now I know the problem of telling people that and am here to say don't!!! You matter Nona people care about you
>>43092178Your issues aren't that bad, you just have no friends, so you have no motivation to deal with them.What kind of game is it? Do you want help making it? I'm an unemployed starving artist of a game developer, and I'm looking for something new to work on.
>>43092178I cried. My life is living nightmare. Best you can do is try your best to make it. Don't kill yourself before trying your best.
>>43093523theoretically to call attention in the case of similar names. i mean imagine if someone gave op hydrazine she'd blow up like a rocket
>>43094844>Your issues aren't that bad, you just have no friends, so you have no motivation to deal with them.this
>>43092029>hydroxyinethrow it away, throw it the FUCK away
>>43093596damn... maybe...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bogz2xZy-bo
>>43096955care to explain why?? (non-knower (no i can't just google it))
>>43092029Build a guillotinePerks:Painless quick death due to slicing your head clean off Can’t do it without true motivation to kill yourself, won’t be a spur of the moment decision that you regretCons:You might find out you like woodworking and decide not to kill yourself
>>43092029it'd be mad hypocritical of me to say some shit like "don't do it" but please don't try to do it THAT way, whatever you do
>>43094844nta but fuck you dude. i hope they live and you don't
