I will learn to accept that I am a cis man
1. Have you ever become sexually aroused while picturing yourself have a nude female body or with certain features of the nude female form? Yes or No.Items 2-6: If you answered "yes" above, which of the following statements were also true? [Otherwise proceed to items 7 and 8]2. You became sexually aroused while picturing your nude female breasts. Yes, No, or Never pictured yourself with nude female breasts.3. You became sexually aroused while picturing your nude female buttocks. Yes, No, or Never pictured yourself with nude female buttocks.4. You became sexually aroused while picturing your nude female legs. Yes, No, or Never pictured yourself with nude female legs.5. You became sexually aroused while picturing your nude female genitals (private parts). Yes, No, or Never pictured yourself with nude female genitals.6. You became sexually aroused while picturing your female face. Yes, No, or Never pictured yourself with female face.7. Which of the following pictures of yourself has been most strongly associated with sexual arousal?a. As a nude womenb. As a woman dressed only in underwear, sleepwear, or foundation garments (for example, a corset)c. As a fully clothed womand. Have never become sexually aroused while picturing yourself as a womane. Have never icturing yourself as a woman8. Have you ever been sexually aroused by the thought of being a woman? Yes or No
Today's music rec: Desire, I Want To Turn Into You: Everasking Editionhttps://carolinepolachek.bandcamp.com/album/desire-i-want-to-turn-into-you-everasking-edition
wow ur an hour early
>>43096716What's the point of asking this again? I already answered in yesterday's thread
dance monkey dance
>>43096702Why Cruelty Squad?
>>43096750I'm not. The time changed because of daylight savings
>>43096755to check if you are able to answer yes, no, never or a b c d e this time
>>43096829it’s early for me thoyou’d post when it was 6pm for me and now you’re posting at 5pmalso hi i miss talking to you
>>43096840And what's the point? I don't think my answer changed in the past 24 hours
>>43096860thank you
>>43096880Can you answer my question, please? I'm genuinely curious.Also, to elaborate, I'm genuinely barely able to feel sexual arousal. I don't believe I'm asexual cause I do crave intimacy, but nothing actually gets me going
>>43096702mate, what does "learn to" even mean here? what are you learning? how are you educating yourself? if you genuinely cannot handle the possibility that you are a cis man, posting on this board isn't going to help you. there is something, in your brain, that is making you look at women in dresses or women getting railed or whatever and making you feel "I want that, badly enough to go on an /lgbt/ board and tell myself that I will learn not to want it" are you actually going to try and be cis, and figure out what is making it so you can't accept being a cis man. or is "learn" here like the same "learn" in "I will learn to accept that abuse is actually love?" In the sense that "learn" means convert an aversion towards something (in this case, being a cis man) into an attraction?
>>43096849I'm try to post this thread always exactly st midnight where I live.>also hi i miss talking to youSorry for not getting back, but outside of making this thread I'm currently taking a short break from using discord to touch more grass and trying to live my life. I'll definitely text you again in the near future though
>>43097057would you still like to play elden ring tho
>>43096813I picked the image mostly at random, but I do really like the game. Especially the way it feels. After I completed the game, I used to boot it up just to walk around, chill and fish in different levels for a while
>>43096984The original mindset I had when I made this thread was that I felt (and actually still feel) that I'm a cis man down to my core, but am in denial of it. Being honest with myself, you're absolutely right about me feeling a genuine aversion, even revulsion towards the fact that I can only think of myself as cis. And while this thread is obvious not the most serious thing, I am very much constantly trying to figure out what the source of this aversion is
>>43097134I'm playing it. It kinda reminds me of Superhot.
>>43097124I'd actually like to, but I doubt I'll have tons of time for it
>>43097245I mean, when you go into the world, do you wish people would talk to you about how you feel? Or like people wouldn't see you as a "man" and women sort of regard you warily and men wouldn't just ignore you? A lot of people are calling you a repper, but desu, whatever is going on with you seems less to do with sex and more to do with feeling more of a robot than you do a human being. i think that's one of the themes of cruelty squad, right, is that everything is reduced to socioeconomic value, everything is stripped of its front and shown to be meat in the giant supercapital organism that is our world structure. the people, the technology, the infrastructure, all of it blends into the same red-green meat/80s screen aesthetic
>>43098002>I mean, when you go into the world, do you wish people would talk to you about how you feel?I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean with this. Talking about one's emotions isn't something gendered at all. Although, I guess it's true that women tend to talk about their emotions more if you'd make a generalization, and I'd even say that the way women and men talk about emotions can be very different.Personally I can connect with people best when talking about our emotions comes naturally to us. Although for that I kinda need to learn to feel again>Or like people wouldn't see you as a "man" and women sort of regard you warily and men wouldn't just ignore you? I don't like when people make baseless assumptions about me just because I belong to the arbitrary group that is men, but that feels reasonable to me. I also wouldn't say that women regard me warily, considering almost all of my irl friends are women, and that it's much easier for me to get along with women rather than men in most cases. Also, I don't care at all about getting any attention from men>whatever is going on with you seems less to do with sex and more to do with feeling more of a robot than you do a human beingYou're spot on again. I've barely felt human for most of my life. While I'm very good at acting out emotions and knowing how I'm supposed to feel, I very rarely actually truly feel said emotions. I also very much feel like I'm just living a stranger's life. It's extremely difficult for me to not feel detached and alienated from everything.Regarding Cruelty Squad, I remember talking about it with a friend and telling them something along the lines of "I'm aware of how abrasive and absurd this game looks, but to me it feels no different than the real world"
>>43098328Yeah, I don't think your problem is you have the wrong genitals, mate. You know, one of the things I think about gender these days is how superfluous it is. Like you live in a world where almost everything is digital: your financial accounts, your attendance records at your job, your education. Everything in your physical life, of any real importance beyond mere aesthetics, is tabulated or recorded somewhere else. Like your car, your income, and with technocapital, even your preferences are algorithmically hacked. You become part of the architecture of the machine, and the only thing that keeps you from realizing that is how much joy you get out of consumption, you know? Cultural consumption, religious consumption, economic consumption, all of it is kind of a distraction from the fact you're just a particle in this massive system. I don't know. Gender sometimes feels too small to inhabit. I feel like a lot of my life went haywire when I asked myself "where is all of this going," and I realized that most people around me genuinely just enjoy consumption, or have a problem with how others consume. You know, transgender people want to consume life as the other gender. Religious people want us to consume but also do it with a religious bent. No one even cares about how plugged in everything is anymore, everybody just kind of wants to pummel their brain into oblivion. It sounds like what you're having is a crisis where your bodily reality is aggravating you, and there's just nothing to consume that will actually give you relief, you know? Maybe gender is the most intimate layer of self most people will reckon with, but for you there's another, like a spiritual crisis of asking "how can I feel anything in a world that is so transparently about pointless excess?" I don't know. But it sounds like being human is not enough in a world where it means finding the right shit to consume.
>>43098535I won't lie, I think you're very likely completely right, which is genuinely extremely harrowing to me. Knowing that gender isn't actually my issue, yet still feeling such an aversion towards the though of being a cis man only fills me with despair about both my present and my future. There's just no way this is the right path for me, and that makes me figuratively, and sometimes even literally, writhe in agony
>>43100981do by chance do you have a terrible relationship with your mother
>>43101237lmfao
>>43101237Nope, quite the opposite actually. I'm extremely lucky and privileged to have loving parents
