I will learn to accept that nothing will ever happen and meaningless entertainment is the best i can hope for.I'm not a tranny and if i were a perfect transition wouldn't save me, nor would being a cisfoid.I just have brain damage from there being lead in the groundwater.Motherfuckers fucked me over for a lifetime and got rich off of it.I don't know what to do.
take your hrt retard
>>43141836It wouldnt change anything
>>43141845girl if everything’s going to shit might as well go all in
Fuck i hate myself for choosing not to drink.Why isnt there a substance ghat just turns you.off that doesnt fuck your liver up.I hate being conscious. I HATE it.
>>43141869Nothing is going anywhere. It's been shit forever i just could do escapism as a kid.Hurm.I'm really starting to feel like someone set me up deliberately whether im getting fucked with personally or judt got caught in a net wide enough.Something is fundamentally not as it should be.
>>43141882>I'm really starting to feel like someone set me up deliberately it’s unironically yourself tbdesu
>>43141904>It's your fault you've been a victim of large-scale abuse from before you were born chuddy.
>>43141874Try getting sleeping pills anon. Even 10 or 15mg of melatonin is good, makes you feel extremely sleepy.
>>43141904Millitary grade abuse.Yeah i guess it'a my fault i didn't fight back against the bully who has 50 degrees of seperation from the knife he's been stabbing me with AND the monopoly on violence.
>>43141912this but unironically
>>43141919Melatonin effects don't scale past 1mg though.I wanted to buy some today but i woke too late and all the pharmacies were closed by the time i got out of the house.Worthless fucking days. Might as not even get out of the bed. It doesn't change anything whether i get food or not.
>>43141932have you tried forgiving yourself yet
>>43141932Im just saying, for me at least, 1mg doesnt do anything, but 15mg is like I drank something.
>>43141944It's my fault for letting myself be defeated. All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.And im a fucking drunk loser. I can't even have aspirations. I could do something. Their goal is to make me into a bugman and i gladly complied. I'm probably even more zogged and demoralized than the average person because i know it's happening. Fucking infohazard.>>43141947Hmmm. I'm just PRETTY SURE the effects dont scale with dose bc all it does is signal the circadian rhytm its time to sleep so as soon as you meet the treshold you just get sleepy
>>43141974Get some melatonin gummies that are like 5mg a pop and eat like two of em and see what happens to you. Who knows.
>>43141997Wrf why do you want me to get #BLACKED
>>43141974why not go all the way thenur gonna die either way so why not
>>43142003LOL
>>43142005I like how you've engaged with nothing what i said and just regurgitated that i should chemically castrate myself(to which i'm recipient btw i just think im being psyopped rn and not having a real conversation.)This could be some paid indian shill on the other side of the screen>>43142011
>>43142034If I was indian I would have killed myself.
>>43142051Okay nYou pass the test. Indians are all hypernationalistic so they would never ever call it out for being a shithole and their race as an unfortunate one to be.
>"ummmmm im being psyopped i think"by all means try nothing and whine about how your life keeps sucking
>>43142068I just wonder how.to get out of it I don't have dysphoria and none of my issues seem to be tranny related. I 100% think it's like brain damage and enviromental factors.
>>43142076What are the symptoms that bother you the most.
>>43142084Avolition, Anhedonia and lack of focus.I don't want to do antrhing, nothing grips me, when i force myself to do something i drop off very quickly.My IQ isnt that low its like 104 but everything else has been getting worse since i was like 14.
>>43142095Do you ever feel like youre missing something that other people arent? Something that would resolve the lack of passion and focus?
>>43142148No because i've had it at some point and even then i wasnt exactly 1:1 like everyone else.Its something else.
>>43142159Puberty usually exacerbates any mental health issues one might have. Your symptoms may have been nonexistent when you were young but still waiting in your DNA for the right time to come out.
>>43142179I've heard about that yeah.I don't really believe in mental conditions though
>>43142190Well, if you were that way because of lead poisoning, that would still be a mental condition.
>>43142198Thats brain damage. That's different from someone telling you that your perception of reality is innacurate or wrong for 0 reason.
>>43142207Mental conditions arise because the normal structure of the brain has been made different. It operates on the same principles.
>>43142216Alright whatever.How do i get better.The way i live rn i might as well not.I dont think hrt would.help.since i have 0 issues with being male and only.considered it as cosmetic treatment
>>43142258You may benefit from taking a prescribed stimulant like adderall, vyvanse or others. Talking to a psychiatrist who can prescribe will help achieve this.
>>43142314>Just do amphetamines>Just do drugs bro.No thank you.Next.
>>43142334Look the bottom like is stimulants were literally invented for people with your symptoms. If your gonna reject medicine then please just stop whining about how sick you are you fucking braindead retard.
>>43142355>Meth was invented so people we abuse can still contribute to GPDYeah no shit. But lets lock people up for weed posession why dont we.I dont fuck with junkie shit.
>>43142095>>43141974Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda, having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.”Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.Do you understand? The point isn't Jesus. It's that you're the invalid, waiting for your chance at the pool, but you've been defeated so many times you can't even imagine getting what you want.You already know what you want. If it's to be a woman, then it is done. If it's to be a man, then it is done. Have faith that it is possible, and it will then be possible, but only after you have the faith. Not before. That's what is meant by "take up your bed and walk."
>>43142367Adderall and Vyvanse are not meth. They dont even have the METH part of the chemical in their structure. You really are low IQ arent ya?
>>43142369I like this parable.I love the idea that you do have a choice to get well and can commit to it if you are so inclined.
>>43142387They're amphetamines. Still junkie shit.
>>43141821yeah ive been on hrt for like almost 4 years and it really didnt do anything, i have boobs and less body hair. i saw my face under even well lit conditions in a mirror the other day and i just look like a man, like 100% a man. hrt does nothing.
>>43142406You really REALLY have no clue what you are talking about. I really hope you learn you don't have to suffer like you do because you seem miserable. These drugs change peoples lives. They make dysfunctional people normal.
>>43142427Yeah i figure if you hop people on stimulant they'll work like a well-oiled machineI dont want them.
>>43142447Its not about working, its about not feeling like a flat emotionless nothing. Like you do you mentally ill dipshit.Enjoy your shitty life. Or change it if youre not a faggot who thinks hes smart (you are not).
>>43142470Drugs are never the answer
>>43142483They actually are the answer a lot. Its called Medicine.
>>43142397Yes, you understand. But I do ask, do you wish to be healed? Perhaps there's some part of you that actually enjoys being somewhat dysfunctional. If there is, again, that's no fault. Sometimes you have to wrestle with yourself before you can accept healing. Still too whole to be healed, so perhaps one must break themselves further.
>>43142483were you the spectrum kid in middle school who took DARE took seriously o algo
>BAAWWWWWW WHAT DO I DO>heres something you can do>NOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>43142542No i'm a drunkie.I've just been exposed to unironic crackheads and roiders at work and one of my childhood friends got years of his life nuked by a shitty xanny prescription
>>43142514I honestly enjoyed myself for a long time and hate being around others or putting in effort but it's gotten to a point where i cant even have fun with literature, anime or vidya which is walking death territory
>>43142756Then I think you have to do something new. I don't know what that is for you, but my advice would be to follow your inner life, whatever gives you spirit, and to ignore appearances. As Emerson wrote: "For the inmost in due time becomes the outmost,--and our first thought, is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment."
someone needs to rape cismoid
>>43142850Nyoooo
