Should I break up with my bfwe met when I was 16 he was 24 (legal in my state)I have pretty bad autism so he was basicly the first friend I had outside of my brother. We liked a lot of the same things and basicly instantly connected. I started hrt like 6 months before meeting him. We had sex after some time and that was when I discovered I had really bad bottom dysphoria and I basicly hated sex. We stayed together and even moved in together. He remained my only friend. My life got better, I got a job, ffs, srs, etc. Even after SRS I don't really like sex. It's very stressful for me and I still feel really disgusted when he tries to pleasure me (touching clit etc). And basicly every time he touches me he tried to escalate it into sex and then makes me feel guilty for not wanting sexI understand that sex is a big part of a relationship but I was a virgin when I met him so it's not like I could have known sex was an issue for me before. He is always whining about it and calling himself an incelwe have been together for 9 years now and sex is still this huge issue, and ive sort of been conditioned to avoid touching as well because it so frequently escalates to sex. also recently he has just been annoying to me. I don't even enjoy spending time together because I feel this tension around sex. but I feel bad for leaving him because he stuck around for so long when I had having a really tough time. Basically, Im not getting what I need (cuddling) and he isnt getting what he needs (cooming), so I think there isnt really any future in this relationship anymore. he is still my only irl friend though so idk how I would cope with being completely alone. It sounds really good in theory tho.
>>43157908also im not sure if my trauma around sex is his fault. Also he gained a lot of weight and isnt attractive to me anymore.
>>43157908You're not happy == break up That's it. Figure it out after
>>43157908talk w/ him abt it???
>>43158564I try to but it seems impossible.>>43158040but what if he is the only person who will ever be my friend
>>43160752I've had lots of partners over the years. My last serious relationship lasted a decade. I thought I couldn't live without her and kept trying to make it work despite the red flags. It didn't. She's still on her same bullshit, arguably worse. At that point I thought of her as my best friend.You can't change people. You can only change yourself and your situation. You'd be surprised what you can live without. You'll make new friends and find new partners. Arguably better ones. If I hadn't left her when I did, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend, who treats me better than any of my previous partners did. It can get better, don't be afraid to try
