I'm planning on killing myself on my birthday this year. I pussied out last year due to not wanting to harsh someone elses vibe (further proof that I am a disgusting revolting narcissist and deserve nothing more than to fucking die, as if they wouldn't be OVERJOYED with my passing, they'd probably hold a party and laugh... or better yet not even care enough to mock or laugh, but I digress) but I have finally committed. I am to jump off a bridge or lay down on a train track. Maybe get hit by an 18 wheeler. Being eaten by a bear would be fun, but not super reliable believe it or not, and really, really painful.I WANT TO TELL SOMEEONE. I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE. but I'm afraid they're going to stop me or think ill of me. yEt again another sign of my npd bpd '''schizo'''. nothing is ever right. I just realized, that if I had taken myself even 1/4 more seriously when I as 18 and 'depressed' and 'wanted to die' I wouldn't be in this spot now. I literally created my own ruin. I foresaw this years ago. I thought there was no future and now there truly isn't. Not after what I've done and what I've understood and realized.
The funny thing is, if you had someone who cared to listen then you wouldn't want to do it.
>>43161060happy 14th birthday bro
>>43161060If you kys can you atleast take a politician with you?In minecraft ofc
>>43161060go to the nearest city you can at your nearest convenience. find a trans girl there. tell her. you do not have to talk to her ever again. simply tell her. it will not solve your problem completely, but it will buy you time, and its good to travel.
>>43161082I don't tell anyone about this shit. People pretend to care, and then they either try to get me 'help' or they get annoyed because I'm all talk and no action. It's awful.>>43161106I'm turning 26 in July.>>43161122That's not the fucking point of this. It's about punishing the most evil person I know.>>43161127How does this buy me time?
>>43161180why not punish the second most evil person too?
>>43161180>>43161196yeah
>>43161196That's not in my nature. My nature is to ruin the lives of innocents.>>43161221Stop. I'm not going to kill anyone else but myself. I already tried to kill my mother when I was 17 and I escaped all consequence (other than my soul being riddled with ROT) so I'm over that
>>43161274I know someone who did the exact same thing as you, and I’m inclined to believe you’re her but fudging your age.There is not a single person who knows you who would rejoice in your death. You don’t even need to be here for me to know this is true.You aren’t evil.
>>43161302*don’t need to be herWhy do you continue to create a hell of your own making? There isn’t a single thing you’ve ever done to deserve the misery you’re imposing on yourself.
>>43161302Nta but I change my age sometimes in online stories to add a level of plausible deniability
>>43161311If she’s who I think she is, she’s doing it to avoid me. I find it hard to believe there are multiple trans women in their late 20s who tried to kill their mom as a teenager (I.e., reacted to a lifetime of emotional abuse). She’s using the same terminology too. She isn’t evil. She’s a good person who has been abused and it kills me I can’t make it better for her. It’s going to destroy me forever if she kills herself. I love her so much, like a close friend. She thinks I’m lying when I say that. I’ve never had someone who made me laugh and admire her knowledge and drive to do better as much as her.I hate this place so much. I hate how it rots your (trans women’s) brains.
>>43161364Well I think OP must be a trans man or ftm because they posted this same text in ftmg, so like I just assumed they were ftm but I guess i could be mistaken.
>>43161388Ahhh, no then, she would not post there.Hope anon realizes they really aren’t irredeemable, whoever they are.
>>43161302>>43161307I also beat my cousin when I was 12 and he was 5-6. I am actually 25 but the more I say that the less you'll probably believe it. I was 'depressed' and working a shitty retail job when covid hit.>>43161364I'm ftm btw. I don't know anyone who uses this board. I tried to kill my mother because I am evil and was temporarily disturbed by going very suddenly off of SSRIs, alongside a friend group that I was openly abusing and breaking apart.>>43161307Hell of my own creation is how I would word it. It came to me during an intense acid trip a few years ago.
>>43161427Would someone gently stroking your hair and cuddling you fix any of your mental anguish?
>>43161060>i'm going to go out of my way to kill myself using a method that is guaranteed to involve and likely traumatize innocent peopleYeah, you're a narcissist alright. The absolute least you could do is take a nice hike as far as you can into your nearest wilderness area and hang yourself.I can tell from your other posts in the thread that you're a dramatic child and a big part of this for you is having an audience but it's really a dick move to jump off a bridge where you might hit someone or be found by a child, or literally forcing some poor guy to kill you by jumping in front of a train or a truck.
>>43161180This is too real I'm turning 26 on the 16th and not sure if I'll even make it to that. Based on your replies that might not be your age but if it really is, that's spooky.How afraid do you think you are of death? I guess I mean what comes after because although we might think of it as peaceful that's not quite what nonexistence is. I am also afraid in the moment I'll do the punisher nononono meme and change my mind when it's too late to stop but I suppose everyone wishes to live in their final moments. Dying isn't easy.
>>43161484nta but im terrified that hell is real
>>43161060>>43161180questioncan i eat youare you cutewhere are you so i can consume you
>>43161521Not trying to be corny but I think hell is something we imagine for a lot of reasons, but one is to convince ourselves there has to be something worse waiting for us than what we're living in so we don't off ourselves.
>>43161060I feel like I could of written that second paragraph word for word.
>>43161180I'm sorry you feel this way. Please know that killing yourself won't solve anything or make the world a better place. Believe it or not, there are people who do care about you. I think many of the responses in this thread are proof. I really hope you consider talking to someone, even if its not someone you would normally go to. Most people want to help.I'm guessing this 'evil person' is someone who hurt you. If they are still hurting you, I strongly urge you to tell someone else who can get you to safety or speak on your behalf. You might think suicide is a way to get back at this person, but it will only hurt you far more. The only way to get back at those kind of people is to go on living so you can show them how much better you can be than them. There are so many more reasons to keep living than to give up. Think of something you want to be better at, that you actually enjoy doing, and take the first step towards it. Over time, I promise things will feel better than they do right now. >>43161427You are not evil. You are worth other people's time and love. You've been through a lot, and the fact that you are still standing is a testament to your strength. Please don't give up now.
>>43161060Look, I hate gays, lesbians and trannies but I seriously hope you do not kill yourself. There's so much to live for..
>>43161480I wouldn't hit anyone and no kids would find me. You don't know the local bridge. I do agree it's not the greatest way. Realistically starving to death in the woods would be the best.>>43161484I'm terrified. It is best for everyone.>>43161600I am the evil person. You don't understand.>>43161608Why?
