How do you cope knowing that you won’t pass without FFS?It would probably be manageable if I lived like, anywhere else, but regrettably I live in a city where the only two types of trannies are ones who pass and ones who have 0 self awareness, so I’m often grouped into the second category simply because of my appearance.
>>43161848I’ve met several trans women who pass without FFS. I think many just over-complicate things and think it’s all about looks. How you carry yourself can have a lot to do with it and it comes down more to being comfortable in your own body. Even if you don’t think you pass on a physical level, as long as you are confident and stay true to how you feel inside you can pass. There are plenty of manly looking cis women who people know are women because of how they carry themselves.I don’t like to say that there are people who bandwagon on the “trans fad”, but you can tell that some people aren’t putting in any effort and just act the same as the boy they were because it’s just a fetish to them or something else less genuine.
>>43161923Mostly this. The divide isn't passoid/hon, it's people who put effort into their appearance and treat others politely and kindly, and smelly arseholes who think makeup is patriarchy or something. I don't remotely pass, and I get misgendered a lot. But I actually get a lot of community inclusion now just because I let my inner feminity shine. And for me that's what it was about the whole time anyway, it wasn't about pretty privilege (though that would be nice), it was about me telling the world who I really am. And the thing is that the manmoders/butchmoders/unrepentant hons are in the same social category as the cat ladies and land whales who show up an hour late to the only social event they get invited to a year, contribute nothing, are just kinda rude and surly the whole time, and then act like that's everyone else's fault. That's not even a trans thing, people just don't like people who behave that way. Maybe I'll never be able to afford FFS, but smiling costs me nothing.
>>43161923I understand that my physicality and presence is going to go a long way in how I’m perceived. I tend to be more on the quiet and reserved side, which can make me a little awkward to be around. I wouldn’t say I’m confident at all, but the right people are good at making me talkative. I like to think I’m not one of those “fad” types, but I have been historically averse to effort. I put off transitioning for a very long time, both because of living circumstances and because I was scared I’d become a walking caricature. Ironically, I think delaying my transition may have brought that fate about. Feigning confidence has always been difficult for me. I deeply fear persecution and judgement. >>43161977I try to be polite. I recently completed a brief mixology course which lasted around a month, and in that time I had a mostly amicable relationship with my peers. I kind of had to insert myself into conversations, but my inclusion was usually welcomed for the most part. I remember while I was there, my teacher pulled me aside and said that I frown too much. He said when I’m socialising with others, I smile a lot more, and it’s a really good look. I really don’t like how I look when I smile so I had a lot of complicated feelings about that. I always have a deep fear of being cringe. What’s the line between “honfidence” and reasonable self acceptance? I do think there’s a line, and I think that line, to some degree, is what causes me to feel disconnect with other trans people. I continuously put confidence on this earned to unearned scale. I shouldn’t assert my presence unless I believe I bring something of value and I’m nice to look at. Because of this, I usually end up blending into the background or crying because I feel so misplaced. Both of you have given splendid advice here. I’ll try to keep it in mind.
bump
>>43161977Fuck off you can't force me to wear makeup
>>43161923holy cope
>>43161848A lot of looking in the mirror and crying. I've reached the point of just not wearing my glasses to avoid seeing my face.
>>43161923Ever heard of this little thing called socialization?Personally I act hard most of the time, but the mask does slip sometimes and I become extremely girly. It's how it isBut if cis "people" and even pick-me troons want to put me in the box with every bad stereotype then so be it. I know hate and I know being hated without anything you can do about it
Tell them you might not look like a woman, but this giant club with spikes in it says you're a very handsome woman.
