>>43177197
Or maybe you were an asshole kid, you sound like an asshole.

>>43178495
nah, she screamed all the time and thinks she did nothing wrong

>>43178511
>"abuse"
>look inside
>shouting

>>43179557
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words leave permanent psychological damage.

>>43177197
What she did to you?

>>43181137
constant emotional abuse, neglect, no support, just made childhood a terrifying environment where I was trying to not make her scream but she kept screaming anyways, she has a hair-trigger temper and everything upsets her but otherwise she's fake nice miss perfect in public which is truly revolting.

>>43181432
That's seems harsh anon. I also grew up in an abusive house.

I did therapy for 2 years and went to psychiatrist for 3 years. I suggest you do similar.

Also, learn to let it go. She lives her life and you live yours

>>43181475
my mom used therapy as a way to paint me as a predator for not being ok with her screaming and to delegitimize my suffering and punish me for being gay
why would I talk to a therapist who didn't abuse me? They didn't cause the problem and they aren't gonna punish her. I just want a court to behead her. Publicly. Short of that, I won't be happy.

I hope your shit works out however it goes anon. My abusive mom killed herself a few years ago and my dumb ass still feels bad about it. my life was getting way better right before that, and, minus the massive setback of even more flashbacks, nightmares, etc, has more or less continued on that trajectory afterwards.

She never apologized for her abuse, even for basically doing DIY antitrans conversion therapy on me, nor did she even (claim to) remember most of it. I looked for evidence of regret or conflict in her documents and journals while we were clearing out the house and there was nothing. She was the same person all the way down, and would never have apologized.

>>43181505
Just search and find a therapist to help you that has not wronged you during your childhood, you know, a professional.

You don't need to beat or "behead" your mom, she is already in her death bed. Just let it go.

When I was a child my father belated my siblings while drunk in front of me, used to drunk drive with me in the backseat and often screamed at me. I fixed my anger and fury with therapy and other things (but yeah, I confronted my father when I grew up)

>>43181557
>I hope your shit works out however it goes anon. My abusive mom killed herself a few years ago and my dumb ass still feels bad about it
you're free
I wish I were free
she can't hurt you anymore, that's all that matters
>nor did she even (claim to) remember most of it
convenient eh
and my dad and sister witnesses most of it, they both don't remember, didn't try to protect me
most people are afraid to stand up to abusive aggressive women
its funny there's endless stereotypes that women cannot be dominant or aggressive and then when they actually are its impossible to do anything about it because they can just instantly switch into a fake nice passive mode when accused

>>43181582
will never ever go to therapy, it was forced upon me for years, I consider it a form of torture
>deathbed
god I wish this is just a temporary speedbump and she probably has 10-20 years of being cared for by my dad

>>43177197
she wanted to abuse you, she doesn't regret it because it's what she wants
your better off being away from these people

>>43181620
oh i know but its crazy she won't admit she enjoyed screaming at me
i used to tell my dad i think she derived sexual pleasure from it
and she keeps having new medical issues but not dying just spending more time in the hospital and this could drag on a long time

>>43181634
why would she admit it? she doesn't even see the problem with it
it's more fun to gaslight you about it
these people are impossible just stay away from them

>>43181583
>I wish I were free
mm, yes and no. I was already free. I ran off, changed my number, didn't tell her where i was going, etc. And her actions continued to hurt me. Couldn't look at meat for two years without losing touch with reality.

but her death and the circumstances around it did clarify a lot of things for me in a way that made me have fewer expectations.

I hope that you can find a similar sense of resolution, however it happens. know that if you associate with her just because you feel obligated to, you have no such obligation.

>will never ever go to therapy, it was forced upon me for years, I consider it a form of torture

you know, my mom also weaponized therapy and basically used it as a means of solidifying control and further abusing me (ditto being stuck in inpatient for weeks, which was often used as a threat). I took years of a break from therapy and never trusted a psychiatrist again.

I will say that there is a huge difference going to therapy explicitly for a limited time to address trauma caused by child abuse with a trauma therapy modality vs "my shitty kid has adjustment problems and is ruining my life/looks depressed." the knowledge that you can fire someone for being useless, excusing abuse, or being abusive themselves also helps.

This is not an effort to make you try therapy. it was just helpful and unexpected for me personally so I wanted to inform you.

>>43181712
yeah but you are a tranny so her abuse worked on you
she freaked you out from being a feminine male

>>43181809
Haha. I'm a trans man.

>>43181432
sounds a lot like my mom.

>>43182201
ive never encountered someone else irl who had a similar situation, oddly, and most people just blame me when I tell them about it so it's not worth mentioning normally

>>43182218
she did a lot of the same stuff. incessant shouting nearly ever day for years about the most menial shit she could find. lots of emotional manipulation and abuse. pretty much her only driving factor as a parent was to be objectively 'right' and forcd everyone to do what she deemed as right. she also was occasionally physically abusive and even stole money from me once. I think it genuinely comes from a traumatic childhood on her part and probably npd or bpd but that doesn't excuse how she treated me and my family.

>>43182292
do you remember what she shouted at you about?
my mom made me see shrinks, so I got myself addicted to mind-wiped sedatives and don't really remember much of the specifics. I assume it was stuff like me not doing my homework, but I really don't recall and am interested in what others experiences were.

My parents were careful not to be physically abusive as they regarded that as "real abuse" and thus actually wrong...

>>43181432
Yeah well my mother messed me up in ways you can't even believe.

>>43182300
>do you remember what she shouted at you about?
litterly anything and everything. wrinkled clothes, being 'impolite or ungrateful', being gay then later trans, my hobbies, my friends, money, my parents divorce, school, my romantic interests, the way I talked, etc. I've been called litterly every swear you could probably think of in English. I too have been doing my best to sedate myself and have been pretty constantly stoned for the last 4-5 years. she had a very bad temper so if I frustrated her enough I'd get hit in the face or have shit thrown at me. I definitely was not a good kid and infact I'd go as far as to say I was very difficult and strange. but at the end of the day I think everyone deserves honest and healthy guidance in childhood, not screaming and emotional manipulation.

>>43182334
lemme guess, ur a tranny now?

>>43179557
not OP but you honestly sound like an abuser yourself if you actually think emotional abuse is not valid

>>43182445
No, I I'm gay.
I thought this thread was about gay guys?

>>43182792
its rare to find non trans here, sorry

>>43182808
So you're not interested in the pain I suffered only in mocking weirdo trannies? She accused me of killing my father! you, asshole you!