Did anyone else transition on a whim?
Is learning about it and then instantly ordering pills a whim, then yes.
>>43178715Yeah, that's basically what I'm referring to. Although I'd also add the caveat of having never thought of transitioning prior to it
>>43178644I mean it was a whim out of nowhere at some point, but the whim never went away which makes it not a whim
>>43178644No Ive had thoughts about it for years
Opposite of a whim for me. I learned trans people existed when I was 18 or so. I wanted to be a girl prior to that but didn't have the vocabulary to express it or why male puberty felt so wrong. But I didn't start HRT until age 29 due to a mix of lack of money/resources and cowardice. Agonized over it for years.
>>43178644i transitioned while high on amphetamines because i thought it'd be funny to turn into a girlsadly its true but i was a drug addict at the time. 3 months after hrt i quit drugs and have actually been happy though i dont have any regrets
>>43178938same, but i also realized that i couldn’t call myself trans at the time because i felt like was encroaching upon something way larger than i was, and so i called myself “a boy that wanted to be a girl” from like ages 9-13
>>43178849Yeah, same. Never thought about it beforehand, but after I knew that it was something I could just do, it was genuinely the only thing I was able to think about until I actually started transitioning
>>43179234damn it really is a mind virus huh?
>>43179277It really does feel like it. Although it being a virus implies there's a cure, and I personally wasn't able to find a cure besides giving in
>>43178644yesim nothing and will die nothing might as well troon out for the extra spicy nightmares
>>43179573Comfort in misery
>>43179234Ocd infohazard
>>43179544>virus implies a cureAre you restarted
>>43178644yeh pretty much, I just needed to change
>>43180004In what way was that a retarded statement?
>>43178644.... basically. I was more fed up with being a man than anything else
>>43180079many viruses pretty famously don't have cures (common cold, rabies, HIV/AIDS, HPV, ebola, herpes, on and on)... being a virus absolutely does not imply a cure in any way so yea that's a retarded statement
>>43179970Doesn’t OCD typically involve being obsessed with something distressing rather than obsessed with something that sounds nice?
>>43180150Doesn't the common cold, rabies and hpv all have a vaccine?That's besides the matter though as a vaccine is for prevention and not a cure itself, so ig you're right. Thanks for pointing out my stupidity
>>43180168The thought is distressing. Were your thoughts positive? I just want mine to go away
>>43180243Is the thought of transitioning or of being a woman distressing?
>>43180168OCD revolves around uncertainty. In the same way a person might wash their hands ten times in a row to not get infected, a person might pursue transition just to have 'their bases covered' in case they are trans.It's not about being trans or not, it's about the uncertainty of 'what if I am trans?' and if that's the case you might as well start HRT cause juust in case you're trans, you won't have made a mistake.It's a logical consequence of the medicalisation of trans, as it attracts germophobes and hypochondriacs (both subtypes of OCD if you ask me) alike because trans is seen as an illness.
>>43180311nta, but reading about trans ocd always makes me nauseous cause the mere thought that I might've transitioned because of it is extremely dreadful
>>43180288Transitioning is like world ending distress. Being a woman distresses me somewhat but it’s not really worth thinking about to me because it’s not like I will ever be a woman who grew up female
>>43180374welcome to the mental carouselthe only way out of OCD is to accept uncertainty and the undesired outcome. >So you hope you're trans and not deep down cis?>Consider that you are cis, that you made a huge mistake>Now smile and realize how little it matters cause (You) are not your thoughts as strange as it sounds>Your thoughts are layed on top of your experiences by your brain after the fact (read up on the delay between taking an action and thinking about it... The thought also comes after the action)>So overall, you are a observer of a body which you inhabit first person. Like a detective, you try to piece together this story as it unveils live in front of you
>>43180440Yeah, this is definitely just OCD if you don't have any desire to be a woman/like to be a man
>>43180311This is how I see it: a mental illness that I have been genetically afflicted with despite consciously resisting this reality. This is the natural conclusion of people saying “no one actually wants to be trans” that at some point some alternative mental force compels you to transition
>>43180456nta but I trooned for this it's fucking ridiculous but my compulsions are too strong I wriggle around like a worm
>>43180456I used to when I was younger because my first exposure to sexual content was tg tf comics when I was 10. I would masturbate to that during puberty but eventually moved on to regular straight porn and have gone on to date girls. I still worry that my attraction to women is not sexual but actually a desire to be a woman
>>43180462It all calms down when you manage to think about something else. The only way I managed to stay somewhat functional was to push the question 'Am I akshually trans?' as far as possible away.I just live my life as I always did and accept I might make a mistake, but somehow, I seem to go down this path of transition whether I want to or not.I do not believe in free will.
>>43180243Mixed. The thought of being feminine and having a female form are very very positive, but the fact that that’s true was very ego dystonic and still is a little bit but getting better. I think that’s why in the past I started to daydream about transitioning even though I’d firmly deny even to myself that I’m trans. The potential consequences of transitioning are also distressing.
>>43180507Are you trans or cis with ocd?
>>43180478you're definitely a repper
>>43180525Why? Thi
>>43180522I have no idea and I'm too scared to find out. I wish I was a gay guy and try to live that reality as much as possible, but I've also been taking estrogen in secret for like a year. I like being a gay guy but there's like this corridor in my mind where I think about how much smarter it is to just take HRT in case I want to transition some day. Worst case I get a mastectomy down the road.Not being on estrogen makes me uneasy, but I have no desire to transition socially.
>>43180532Because if you didn't want me to say this, why write that last sentence and engage with this thread?
>>43180599Ocd like i said from the start. The uncertainty compels me to look for answers online
>>43180624Are you seeking for reassurance that you're trans or that you're cis?
>>43180624Do you ever genuinely want to be a woman or not? Yes or no only
>>43180646More proof than reassurance
>>43180650If i could answer that definitively i wouldn’t have this ocd theme. I live my life with the conscious belief that I am attracted to women and want to penetrate them but I maintain the worry that I am trans and in denial
>>43180664Proof doesn't exist silly!But I have to blackpill you: each passing day with testosterone as your dominant sexual hormone will be regretted if you are trans. Act accordingly.
>>43180678I know that’s a large part of the ocd. The only thing I ever really disliked about my maleness is how hairy I am (thanks mediterranean genes) but I just shave. Once this worry started, I began to worry about my make features because I feared they would distress me more in the future if I failed to act
>>43180711You will dislike them precisely because they trigger your OCD. The real you was lost, you are basically zombie.This is a tricky one anon, I haven't managed to think myself out of it either tbhon.
>>43180749It’s a miserable trap. I’m scheduled to begin intensive inpatient therapy next week. Also I get turned on by girls calling me hot and wanting fuck me and that usually overrides my ocd. I put effort into being a hot guy/ pretty boy for attractive women
>>43180773You're projecting your sexual attraction onto yourself
>>43180783Wdym?
>>43180783Be careful nona this one could actually be confused, let the docs sort it out
>>43180677I assume you're officially diagnosed with ocd, right?
>>43180962Yes since adolescence
>>43180981Yeah, ypu don't sound actually trans to me. Do yourself a favor and stop coming to this board. I will only make your ocd worse
>>43181035I know. Routinely checking the board for proof that I am/ am not trans is like my main compulsion rn
>>43178644I wouldn't call it a whim. More like years of repression, slowly deciding to stop forcing myself to act more masculine, and eventually the damn broke and I forced myself to admit who I was
>>43178644I did it partly so that my parents would finally give up on me
>>43178644No i repped while i finished a 5 yr plan to get into a stable career path before i starated transitioning. if i had known i couldve just been manmoding the entire time i wouldve started sooner
>>43178644i mean if you have to think and take ur time then ur probably faketrans and have no dysphoria whatsoever. if youre suicidal over it u gonna try it bc ur life depends on it
>>43183563I don't know. I did agonize a ton over whether it was the right thing to do, especially because my immediate and instinctual reaction to learning of hrt simply was "I need this, no matter what.", despite having never consciously thought about being a woman
>>43183563whats wrong with being a cis male on estrogen
>>43178644Chemically, yes.Me and a friend were looking into hormonal hacks for looksmaxxing purposes and when I read that one of the side effects of estrogen is lowering sex drive I was like "that's it, I'm doing this". This was in 2019.I continue to live as a man with the same bf as in 2019. I like how I look a lot more, very grateful for the slightly lower sex drive and enjoy the fact that I now am less brainwormed about being feminine. Iwnbaw but I'm now much more of a flamer and enjoy life more.Never thought about it prior to that autumn so it was pretty much on a whim. If "ladyboy" were more accepted in my country I'd switch to girlmode full time, desu. I'm not a woman, I just enjoy the esthetics and the way I look now compared to 2019.
>>43183705Nothing, really. Life's short. Do whatever you want and forget about the background noise.Who gives a shit if you're 'fake' in the eyes of anons who don't know you and don't give a shit about you anyway?t. >>43183735
>>43183735What's stopping you from just being a woman?
>>43184200"Social transition" is basically a humiliation ritual with no benefit specifically for me.I don't care about being she/her (altho I am gendered female quite often no matter how I present/dress). Definitely not enough to have to go through legal name/ID change, the long convos and explanations at work, the risks of discrimination and additional troubles when traveling.And, on top of that, I'm actually not fembrained enough to live as a woman and it sounds like too much work to learn that.
>>43184240I guess? If I had the chance to consistently pass, I'd much rather socially transition as well just because I'd find it more humiliating to claim that I'm actually a man when looking like a woman. This is definitely a very individual choice though
>>43184566>I'd find it more humiliating to claim that I'm actually a man when looking like a womanFor now I can easily pull it off.Ig I'm at the "clocky but cute" stage. Also, with the exception of border controls, nobody actually cares, including me. If someone addresses me in the feminine I just play along.It's just a lot less friction this way. It simply is easier to be a flamer femfag than a tranny. If anything, my bf has more problems because he's a standard masc dude and people think fags look more like me loool.It also helps that my boobs are small enough to not be clocky (but also big enough to pull off girlmoding when/if I want to). Ig I just revel in the ambiguity.Do keep in mind that I did all of this on a whim and discovered that I like it along the way. So technically I'm "faketrans" too lol.
repper-kuncoded thread
>>43184808I don't think you're "faketrans" by any means. You just didn't let the brainworms fester
>>43180507Literally what happened to me 1 to 1
>>43186165>I don't think you're "faketrans"In many ways I am. Never been dysphoric, literally trooned on a whim, don't think of myself as a woman even though I look like one (but also don't want to detroon - because I don't have 'reverse dysphoria' either) and my ideal goal is ladyboy, lol.I'm certainly transsexual, but I don't fit the definition of transgender. Heck, without DiY I wouldn't have been here.>You just didn't let the brainworms festerOh, that's for sure. I find other people's brainworms fascinating but that's about it.Hugs.
>>43187096>Never been dysphoricHow do you feel at the thought of having to stop hrt?
