helloi am 22 years old and a mtf tranny. i started hrt 3 years ago, but ive missed enough dosages that its probably closer to like 1.5-2 years.i boymode all the time. pants, long sleeves, and jackets. i show as little skin as possible. i feel like ill never be able to stop boymoding.im pretty fat (170cm 100kg) and eat and eat and eat and eat like a bloated pig. often times i eat so much that it hurts, and i basically always feel bad about myself after i eat.i have a nice job that lets me work from home 3 days a week. i make enough for a 2bedroom apartment, but i live with 2 roommates.my life is a mess and i feel like i cant do anything. my room is dirty and full of fruit flies, my clothes are all dirty, there's glass all over the floor in a corner of my room (i avoid that corner, the glass has won). i threw away all of my fem clothes a while ago because i felt like i didnt deserve them and i havent bought any new ones so now im a boymoder at home, tooi wish i had somebody who would slap the shit out of me whenever i try to eat, or maybe whip me until i exercise and become pretty.im sick of being fat and i feel like if i were skinny and pretty then i could find somebody to love meidk what im really posting for i just needed to share and see if anybody else feels similar i guess
>>43186527the first time i tried to post this i fucked up the captcha and i didnt copy my message so it all got deleted so i just stared at my screen for a bit and then closed the tab and now im back
>>43186527just buy gray market ozempic. you can probably afford it.
>>43186548how much is it and where do i buy it. ill buy it today if i canbut honestly its more than just the weight. i need to get my shit together but i dont know how and i keep digging myself into an even deeper hole
>>43186527you have two options1) pick up the fucking glass and clean your room. stop carrying defeatist energy about your life. and stop scrolling on this board. unless you're confident about yourself, you shouldn't be here. based on how you typing, its clear you a fr depressed tranner. so, pick up yourself. you got a job, you making ends meet, you got two roommates who aren't repulsed by you. you've done a lot bitch, now keep pushing2) or if you're unable to push, be a submissive to a strong man and he'll whip you into shape. since you're already so defeatist and lame and pathetic, go post your nudes and ask men to "ravage" you and you'll get some psychotic male chaser to fuck you till your ass bleeds and THEN maybe you'll learn to hold yourself responsible. those are your two options. choose wisely.
>>43186586i try so hard to pick myself up there's just something wrong with my brain. i can even ask people to hold me accountable online and they check in with me to make sure im taking care of myself and i just life and keep doing what i always do.and if i posted my nudes i dont think any men would want me honestly . i look like a man im just a fat man with long hair and tits, they aren't going to want me
>>43186574(I assume you're not in the US bc metric measurements so you'll have to do your own research)In the US your BMI is high enough that you can go to a doctor and they can prescribe a GLP-1, and then you can go thru legitimate pharmacies. There are even telehealth services where you can do everything online. Otherwise you'll have to go to like, r/semaglutide and start there, I haven't used ozempic in a while so idk how all the gray market stuff evolved. Last time I kept tabs, people were bulk ordering DIY peptides and then group testing via telegram, but I have no idea what ppl do now
>>43186660just lie*idk maybe i should post nudes but my phone number got banned from grindr when i was like 16 and so i haven't used it in years and cant get back on.is this a safe board or can i post my nudes here
>>43186527Yeah this is pretty similar to me. I zero effort honmode instead of boymoding though
>>43186668Forgot to add, the legitimate prescription route is more expensive, so people go the gray market route for cheaper diy. but i have no idea how much it would cost for you so you'll have to get off your fat ass and do some research
>>43186668i do live in the USi see a doctor for hrt but im really scared of my doctor and dont know how to bring things up. ive never done therapy so i cant get psych meds eitheri want to switch to mono therapy for instance but i am just too scared to ever bring it up to my doctor and so i never doadmitting to somebody in-person that im too fat to take care of myself and that i need drugs for it sounds impossible just thinking about it makes me feel like im going to throw up
>>43186660Yes they will. Get out of your head. If they just think you're a man - roll with it. take the penetration. most problems of these transfoids is that y'all do not get penetrated or feel sexual pleasure. be a good girl, receive ... besides, so what if men don't fw ... at least post those nudes because if you already hate yourself this much you worm, then what's the difference in you posting nudes or not? hm? none. u consider yourself so low so how much worse can it get if you men laugh at your nudes. jack off to it, get a humiliation fetish.moron.
>>43186692idk anon, sounds like you have untreated anxiety too, its within your ability to do all of this, its literally all phone calls and you have a job so you're not completely dysfunctional. no one can do this for you. you can do this
>>43186696i think i already have a humiliation fetish but it needs to be more hands on than:i post nudesguy sees it and says "ew"guy moves oni think i might be happier if somebody just constantly told me what a piece of shit i am so that it would finally set in to my stupid brain and i could be better
>>43186749not OP, but anxiety is made up in the head. don't get medicated for it. autism, anxiety and mental disorders are super-powers. the medical establishment will not chain your strength. they want you weak and docile to them. the fact that this foid relies on the medical establishment and doesn't DIY proves her weakness. she needs to get up and get fucked by a strong alpha. post nudes. now. there. there's some fucking direction you weak bitch.
>>43186749um maybe idk im not sure how id know if i didmy job is just sending people emails so thats okmaybe i should ask my doctor if i can just email her instead of seeing her in person and then i can ask her to give me drugs to cure my eatingi think i might rather look into the diy though because it seems less scary
>>43186756piece of shit. feel better? jerk to that. you dumb idiot. your tongue and brain are only worth the neurological capability of a little thing who'll lick clean the boots of a man. lick it like a good fat pig you are. I'd love to choke you on a collar. little shit
>>43186775can i post nudes on this board or will i be banned?
>>43186775i mean at a minimum anon could do CBT to develop executive function
>>43186527how the fuck do you have a job, im 30 and i cant get a job and im not a fat person with a dirty room. i would do anything for aremote job FUCK
>>43186807i got lucky, its local and its doing stuff im good at. i have a home server, and when i mentioned that during the interview they liked it>>43186794this honestly did kinda work, gave me butterflies in my tummy >.< i might be doomed if a message like this is working for me
>>43186785if email is easier then you could try that. the system is set up to funnel you to big pharma anyway they're not going to call fat police because you want a drug you qualify for. like you'd probably have to take some labs to check for blood sugar but otherwise its literally that easy
>>43186824nta but you're literally just a sniveling boymoder who probably jorks it to fagslop, grow up already
>>43186824but you're 22? how are you good at anything. god i fucking suck
>>43186830i dont "jork it" at all. i dont touch my dick, it just sits there. i am a sniveling boymoder though thats what this thread is about >>43186843im not really good at anything, i just like having a home server. i run jellyfin and navidrome and i pirate media and stuff like that. i work at a small local tech company so they liked that i do it in my freetime
>>43186851oh okay i guess ive done that before, i didnt realise that counts
>>43186851if you can deal with open source software you can deal with the medical system, literally just ask for stuff and if they say no go somewhere else
>>43186871not the same. i click download and then click runwhen i see my doctor they weigh me and then ask me why i haven't lost weight and then they take my blood and then she asks me why me E levels are so low and why my T is higher than it should be and then when i wanted to switch to injections she really didnt understand and didnt want to help me with it also why is nobody answering me can i post my nudes on this board i dont want to be banned
>>43186920no you cant post nudes on a blue board.then find a different doctor
>>43186987ok where do i post nudes somebody here told me to where can i post it that dominant men will see it
if this thread dies im gonna kms
>>43187114lurk more jfc
>>43187261kys i lurk i just dont use this board because seeing passing trans people makes me so jealous i want to blow my fucking brains outi dont talk to any other gay or trans people ever
>>43187317your mentality of refusing all accountability has poisoned your mind. do better
>>43187349i lack accountability?i know that im the cause of my problemsi made the decision to troon out im the one who eats and eats and eats until my body cant take it anymore and throws upim the one who doesnt exercise and then complains about my weight and physique im the one who chooses to boymode even though i hate it and i hate these stupid fucking clothes i am the only source of my own misery but that doesn't mean that my misery isnt real
>>43187436you know, and yet you DO nothing about it.
>>43187476THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM THATS WHY I POSTED HERE IN THE FIRST PLACEbecause i KNOW what is holding me back but i just cant fix it????no matter what i do i just cant focus and get it done and move on with my life i try and i try and i try and every time it just ends it worse than before i started and i dont know what to do about it
>>43187519adhd. meds, now
>>43187608im not adhd why do you think i have adhd ive never been diagnosed with adhd i dont have it
>>43187680>my life is a mess and i feel like i cant do anything. my room is dirty and full of fruit flies, my clothes are all dirty, there's glass all over the floor in a corner of my room (i avoid that corner, the glass has won).idk you have depression or anxiety or something just get your shit sorted by a professional
>>43186527Cali? I wanna hit you
>>43188205idaho but i could be in cali pretty quick
>>43186824you need to need to geniunely get dicked down. jfc. that'll fix your problems. you should go at the doorstep of your apartment building, naked, kneeling, with a piece of tape over your mouth and your hands and feet handcuffed to the pole with a sign over your head that says, "roast beef for strong dominant men." and wait for the men to roll in to fuck you. i'd spit on you. so fucking pathetic. so weak. you types of weak little shits die off or get subsisted by dominant superior men. your existence is a tangent of other's people's greatness. do you digitally submit to me? slut. begging for attention. SLUT.
>>43189180if only i lived in an apartment building and not a house...i digitally submit to you >.< eeeeeek !!!!!!!!
>>43189527you're still waiting for me to degrade you, huh? lil shit ...
>>43191066EEEK im too late but I did check to see if you would... thread will probably archive soon :<
