I don't want to be a woman but I can't stop myself from transitioning. I'm literally doing it for all the worst reasons and especially because of the compulsion to kill my intrinsic self.There must be a way out of this self inflicted madness, which I'm simply too retarded to see.
Nope. I too enjoy the brothers karamazov.
>>43206311What do you mean "nope"? I literally am just a man who hates himself much for reasons completely unrelated to dysphoria and deluded enough to hsve latched onto this as a scapegoat
>>43206291The modern individual lost his soul on the path to seeking pleasure instead of meaning.
>>43206291If you are a woman then what are you without it?
one can never be a perfect nihilist, who destroyed and betrayed himself for something
>>43206388What do you mean? I never was and never will be a woman
>>43206291So, if I inderstood, you're a man transitioning to woman for wrong reason ? Have you tried talking to someone to have an objective view and advice ?
>>43206458I actually have, but I've always set myself up for failure by omitting any detail that make it obvious that this isn't right for me
>>43206422I did it for nothing. It's a vacuous scapegoat
>>43206672to destroy and betray yourself for nothing is the only real spiritual freedom. if you sacrifice yourself FOR something, you will never be free
>>43206739I don't know. Destroying and betraying yourself doesn't sound like a good thing to do
>>43206775but you faced the fact you're capable of anything. most people never have to do this. it's worth quite a lot, if you can manage to come out the other side as a human being, and not a monster
>>43206868I will only ever be a monster
your anguish brings me nourishment
>>43206915even if you come out on the other side a monster, at least you went through. theseus did not use stealth to defeat the minotaur. he killed it with overwhelming, monstrous strength. only monsters can fight monsters
>>43206924schadenfreude ist die schönste freude
>>43207079ahafucking knew it was youarschloch
>>43206964Theseus didn't defeat the minotaur through sheer strength alone. He also had his wits and dignity.In this scenario, I would be the minotaur, and my only purpose is to be cleansed from the face of the earth
>>43207084I hope you're having your fun
>>43207164your purpose would still be integral in the fate of theseus. every perseus needs a cetus, every apollo a python, every theseus a minotaur
>>43207277i am as long as i don’t get too close to you xd
>>43206291Don't worry anon, nothing you do will make you a woman.
>>43207315I know this is supposed to be reassuring, but it doesn't help much unfortunately
>>43207445Even if there was a way to perfectly and fully transition, I'd still be just a wolf in sheep's clothing
>>43206291>There must be a way out of this self inflicted madness, which I'm simply too retarded to see.the western man will be struck by thunder and blame himself for walking into it, and when his house is destroyed by a tornado, he will kick his feet in anger at his clear incompetence to pick up his house and hide it in the mountains
>>43208506Having interacted with men irl, I don't think that's true
>>43208934>the WESTERN manare you retarded btw lmao
>>43206369same
>>43206369What are your reasons?
>>43206291So your body is by itself making sure there’s always more estrogens than androgens in it, huhYou either a foid or a fag
>>43211132it’s just repper-kun having another breakdown
>>43206369Do u have sex w/ womanz
>>43211105Complete inaptitude to accept my own shortcomings and failures as who I am>>43211173I don't have sex nor seek it out
It's called changing your mind. When someone asks you why, say you changed your mind. When someone asks any question about an inconsistency between how you feel now and how you feel then, say you changed your mind.
>>43206291no. your intrinsic self will die. you hate yourself and yourself will die. good! i want to die as well. kill me! >your slave and enemy, d karamazov
>>43213284Letting someone kill me sounds like the most affectionate thing I can imagine
>>43206291The only reason you could possibly need is that you would be happier doing itIf you are unhappy as a man, or you would be happy as a girl, that is all the reason you need.
>>43206291craaaazy
>>43215304I'm definitely not any happier doing any of this
>>43215418Then stopOh you can’t?Then accept you’re slowly becoming female and cope in some wayLike, at least you’ll have boobs you can grope anytime, idk
>>43215616It's all meaningless anyway when I can't call myself human in good faith
>>43216404Wdym? Spit it outI don’t think it’s meaningless when you care enough to talk about it
>>43216572It's very straightforward. I don't feel like I have anything in common with actual people who have actual identities. I don't know what it means to feel warmth or love, and I'm fully alienated from anyone I've ever come into contact with.And yet, I still put up the charade of a patient, kind, and empathetic, only because it benefits me. Every word is a lie. Every smile is a dagger. Every hug is a shackle.The only genuine emotions I'm able to feel are hate and apathy, and that makes me burden by default. A shaneless parasite, using others how he pleases with no regards and consideration
>>43215089then start killing parts of yourself. get fucking poetic about it too, you ruslit aesthetecuck.
>>43216824I don't have a soul to be poetic
>>43216894>you need a soul to be poeticlaughable, souls aren't real
>>43216758>And yet, I still put up the charade of a patient, kind, and empathetic, only because it benefits me.human asf idk what to tell you husk
>>43216894only the most russian soul says something like this
>>43206291>the compulsion to kill my intrinsic self.fucking epic mental illness
idk why repper-kun doesn’t just kill herself if she’s in this much pain desu
>>43217018How is that human. I'm not any different from a cold and calculated machine
>>43217100Could you do me a favor?
>>43217121no, but you could kill yourself if you don’t see any other way out of this, and, judging by your posts, you’re inevitably going to kys or have such a mental breakdown that it requires you to go to the grippy sock place and get on medicationregardless, you’re most likely going to have a really rough time in the coming. years
>>43217155I just wanted to ask whether you'd like killing me, oh well...Anyways, the pain I feel is miniscule when compared to that of people with real issue. It's all self inflicted anyways, so I just get what I deserve
>>43217103humans are cold and calculated machines, the best ones, anyway.
>>43215089would letting someone eat parts of you seem affectionate? thats close enough right :P i wanna cannibalize u
>>43217216I'm not ftm
>>43217175you aren’t worth killing. that, you need to do yourself, squiggles
>>43217236I so deeply love how you hate me
>>43217230im not saying i wanna eat your tits nona i wanna eat like your arms and calves and what not
>>43217249Just making sure you're not the ftm eater. Also, being cannibalized doesn't sound bad at all, but only if you kill me beforehand. You can then store away the meat and eat it when you like. Just don't eat my brain
>>43217245and i am deeply in love with youi hate itso i’m taking it out on you
>>43217321This is exactly what I mean when I say that my mere presence is harming anybody who comes into contact with me.I understand it's irrational, but there's really not a single reason for you to love me
>>43206291i love you because i want to use you. unfortunate im accross the screen! just like you find yourself using others, i wish to do the same to you. you would be weak to me. i would not harm you.
>>43217395Now I'm curious. How would you use me? What do you want to do with me? Why would I be weak to you? Why wouldn't you harm me?
>>43216758I’m sorry nona> patient, kind, and empathetic, only because it benefits meIdk how to help you, but doing the above to myself is what helped meBut I only could do it after I said “fuck it, I’m also a human so I don’t need another one to be nice for me, I’m gonna do that myself”It was mostly fake on the start, but as I came to terms with just how pathetic and hopeless I was, I slowly got increasingly sorry and so it became genuine over timeHope you can do that if you decide to try, good luck
>>43217440Btw, being like that for yourself will help you be genuine for others too
>>43217440How am I even supposed to do that when I actively hate to be that way towards myself?
>>43217337i think me being a lonely loser and you being the most normal person i’ve added here thus far probably contributed to it tbdesuanyways, i’d love to tie you down to a table and turn you into a robot one day. maybe then your outsides will match your insides<3
>>43217608Still possible, but first you have to feel sorry for yourselfI started by understanding that my shitty situation wasn’t my fault, in the grand scheme of thingsStuff like, I didn’t ask to be born, or I wouldn’t choose my parents, stuff like that, then iterating from thatMaybe for you it would be different, if those starting points don’t work
