IWNBAW

>>43211808
i think tonights the night or maybe tomorrow idk i want to fucking kill myself

IWNBAW but I enjoy the short moments when I feel included among them. It's still worth it to try

>>43211954
good luck w/ whatever u end up doing

my lack of self control when it comes to eating ruined my life as much as being a troon did

I'm just tired man, real tired. I go through periods where I have a lot of energy and am really creative but I always fall into these periods where I'm just tired and can't seem to get motivated to do anything. I'm so tired of it.

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Im head over heels in love with my best friend. She knows. I know. We talk about it now and then. It will never be (she's married, for one). Im okay with that. I just want to see her smile. Her embrace makes my entire world right for a little bit.
But in my mind... I picture... holding her while I fall asleep. Raising kids together. Actually building a home and a life that is warm and loving. (Compared to my cold and stressful home life) And so, so much more.
She is so gentle and kind. Smart. Perceptive. Caring. Diligent. And bar none the single most beautiful woman Ive ever known. I cant get her out of my head most days. How could I?
Im fine. The yearning doesnt hurt. But I do feel just a little pathetic. I love her. She means the absolute world to me.

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Im a fag, but I absolutely hate what the lgbt community is becoming, whether its the obvious "rainbow capitalism" that we see each year when June comes around, or the guys dressed up in BDSM gear, or dildo suits at pride parades, none of it helps us in the slightest, all it does is make hetero people despise us even more than they did before (around 2016 maybe). It's all just superficial pandering that gets us nowhere. If most gays would just "keep it in the closet" things would be much better for society as a whole.

>>43212211
Pandering from the democratic party has been a disaster for the queer people
We have a fuck load of problems as a community but democrats do fucking nothing but support the very worst aspects of the community like drag queens while our suicide and substance abuse rates rise

I really wonder if the LGBT community in other countries like Italy are as fucked as we are

Haven't been around here in a long time, I see it's about the same.
Heard from a former mutual that you went and got married a while back. I said, "well how about that."
I'm pretty stoked for you. Heard he's a pretty good guy.
I know we ended rough, but, still was nice to know you're doing so good.
Figured I'd toss my well-wishes into the void.
Cheers to the two of you. Here's to many happy years head.
Later days, amigo.

i have feelings for you and i shouldn't
i can't be having feelings like this so i'll suppress it and hope it's just attachment this is so weird so i'll just pretend there's nothing there and i'll pretend you don't make me smile the most or laugh the hardest
even though i imagine scenarios of you and i holding hands and being intimate and falling into each other's embrace i can't do this

>>43213674
What are they like?

>>43213674
Why cant you have feelings like this? Kiss them. Let love triumph!

I choose to believe bestfriend-anon and her crush both type yearnfully to each other in these threads regularly. I really want them to kiss and I know nothing about them.

>>43213842
not telling
>>43213977
it's weird and i'd rather not make things weird

>>43214052
Are you worried they could read this thread? Whats so weird about it?

>>43214012
It sure would be something, huh? There's no kiss in my future, tho.

my dad survived an OD and I admit I felt disappointed that he did.

>>43212211
Why do you pay attention to shit you hate? You have to seek out cringe fag scenes. I never encounter them ever.

>>43211808
i achieved a sense of gender agnosticism a few years ago, but didn't have the will to follow through. i then fell into the social gravity of transbianism, which would have made me happy if it were not for my realization

>>43211808
IWABAW. but IWAB too scared. I will die alone

i cant be a woman because of the misogyny ive inherited. i cant get rid of the misogyny ive inherited because i cant be a woman

your only saving grace was that you taught me that i can still make friends and not be lonely
other than that, i wish i had never met you in the first place
-m

>>43214065
yeah she uses the board and i don't want to come off as pushy

every time i see a man in any way i go into fight or flight

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>>43214159
NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

It was all a silly misunderstanding.

>>43214150
Aha~ I have the same concerns for not divulging further details about my sweetheart - tho I surely already said too much. Its funny how these kinds of things can so easily de-anonymize us. Very fair, I suppose.

>>43211808
i wish i was a lesbian

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>>43212075
(Cont)
When she holds me, every single one of my worries melts away. I breath a deep sigh and feel the tension leave my entire body. When I hold her, I know she's safe with me. She is so delicate compared to me - Ive seen the horrors of the world firsthand and it makes me feel better knowing they can't touch he while I hold her close. Her voice makes my heart sing. Her gaze pierces right through me. Her hands fit perfect in mine.
What a cruel joke of a world. I am slow to trust and rarely-if-ever fully trust anyone and yet the only woman to actually gain that trust in decades is someone I can never show the true depths of my feelings.
I keep telling myself it doesnt hurt but on nights like tonight, I become viscerally aware of how empty the space in front of me is. A presence is missing that can't be filled by pillows or plushies or anything of the like. I pet the little doll she gave me and close my eyes try real hard to be somewhere else.
Goodnight

>>43214251
Gosh and hef smile... ive seen that truly peaceful content smile of hers a handful of times and gods... I would stand against the world for it. The way she smiles when she is *really* smiling just blows my whole world down,,,

I don't care what anyone thinks about me except for one person and she refuses to say any nice things about me. I wish she would just say something nice to make me feel like I'm wanted in her life.

>>43211808
Y'all is it just me or does anyone else really hate when people use the word "fem" as in "I look really fem in this" and stuff like that. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing but it's annoying and performative imo

>>43211808
I got a job as a cis man on estrogen and the new boss referred to me as "a member of the LGBT community" and my immediate supervisor asked me about pronouns and name. I'm fucked.

Im so embarrassed and felt so ashamed to trust someone who swore I shouldn't trust them and said they were just using me and then be genuinely surprised when my trust was taken advantage of

>>43214251
oh my god tell us more now

A few months ago I started dating my closest friend. I know for a fact she won't read this, so no, this isn't you, nonas (sorry). I've never known anyone who feels as right to spend time with, you gets so many pieces of my worldview or philosophical ramblings. She's adorable in just about every way but hardened almost how I am but that so few people can be without giving in to malic. I could go on for ages but it's so hard for me to put these feelings into words when they're different from every relationship I've been in.
Despite all that, I regret asking her out. Staying just friends would never have worked since there's no way someone would tolerate a girlfriend having the kind of relationship we had with someone else. I would have been futilely jealous as she slowly drifted away, showing me how replaceable I am. She would say she'd never, but I know perfectly well that friends are disposable... until your next breakup. Now I'm stuck with the reality that she' only sticking around because we're a couple, because our friendship was fake and built as a ramp.
I care about her, I know she cares about me, but it will never be real. The alternate to being together wasn't staying friends, it was blocking her permanently and trying not to kill myself before I moved on. Whether I succeeded or not, that would've been the smarter option. I think about her too much and care far too much. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to let her go so I can finally be free of the distant past.
That said, I have someone truly wonderful who loves me even when I'm too broken to feel anything whatsoever. She's really annoying a lot of the time, but around her I feel less disgusting than around anyone else. I hate this.
But you know what? At least I'm not emotionally cheating on my spouse with "just a friend" I hold hands with and cuddle while professing love.

>>43211808
mtf
I'm crushing on this cool ftm guy who works at my local pharmacy and I dont know how to get him to ask me out and I cant just ask him out because I have a 100% failure rate in that area

>>43211808
I won't be able to transition if I don't stop being a neet and actually make some money. I know this and yet don't do anything about it

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It makes me sad that I'm 19 years old and have the life experience of a 12yo. Never been in a relationship, never had sex, never even tried to talk to anyone. In fact, I haven't talked to anyone outside of my immediate family in over a year. I post my butt and tummy online sometimes, and admittedly I do get a decent amount of attention from it, but nothing else. And if I ever do find someone, I don't know how I'm gonna explain that while I'm a virgin, I whored myself out online beginning only a week after I turned 18. I genuinely do not want to hurt anyone, and if I did it'd only be myself. Bleh.

I'm not true trans

I don't like drag and I will always blame homosexual men for it

>>43215273
Last line was oddly specific, lol

>>43215273
Okay yea I reread that and that last line was very oddly specific and pointed in a way that stands apart from the rest of the post. Could you expand on that?

>>43215114
Idk. What more would you like me to tell?
I just woke up. I feel kinda gross for feeling this way. I should put up a wall. I have so many other things to do in my life that I could simply never feel again. But it's only a matter of time til my mind drifts back. Always is.

i like women sexually

Chances are I'll end up dying alone. It's moreso a choice, rather than a fate that has befallen me, yet despite it being my choice I can't help but second guess myself as a part of me desires more.

This isn't to say I'm lonely. I have more than enough friends and family to fill the many hours of my life with comfort and joy. It isn't to say I can't find anyone to date either. I've had plenty of opportunities, and if I were to start looking again it wouldn't take me long to find someone. Yet, while finding people to date is a given, finding the right one seems forever out of reach. I'm already quite selective on who I enjoy being around, even moreso when it comes to a romantic interest. With the few I did end up having a sincere connection with, things ended up not working out for a variety of reasons from my end. There was always something that confirmed the person I was dating wasn't the right fit eventually. It seems I'm forever locked out of finding someone that truly works for me. To be good enough to have plenty of choice, but seemingly never quite good enough to find a partner I can confidently grow old with.

Of course, you could call me spoiled and that I should be glad I even have had choices. Good choices, at that. In that, you'd be right, but I can't help looking at the people around me and noticing the difference between those who actually found a fitting partner and those who found a partner that was good enough and settled. The latter may seem fine for them, but I'm unable to reside in blissful ignorance like them. I would be less satisfied in life with such a chain, than if I were to be alone.

Part of me wants to keep trying, but the chances are slim for success and great for tragedy. Not just my own, but the tragedy for others as well. If I could keep looking at only the cost of my own suffering it'd be fine, but I so do tire of seeing others suffer in my search for someone I can happily grow old with.

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She probably thinks im disgusting. Probably thinks im using her to fill the gap left in my heart and doesnt want to tell me because she knows Id probably kill myself if left without any light whatsoever. I should just do everyone a favor and wall her out right now. Itd be better than to use her as a tool - a crutch - in my emotional affair. What kind of fucked up """friend""" am I even.

i was abused as a kid through and because of this board and im worried about the pictures of me that are out there. my country publishes cropped pictures to help identify victims and i think one might be me. i really hope it isn't

Feeling kind of sick tonight
All I've had is coffee and leftover pie
It's no wonder why

Ooh, still you take up all my mind
I don't even think that you care like I do
I should stop, heaven knows I've tried

One day, I will stop falling in love with you

>>43212211
without the generations before us fighting for liberation, you would literally be in a mental asylum right now getting a metal rod jammed through your eyesocket making you permanently retarded.

being a gay male is literally lgbt NG+ Easy mode. grow a backbone faggot