>>43212709
can we know your situation

>>43212719
I'm a narcissistic, sociopathic, hate filled monster and there is no one I hate more than myself

>>43212860
im also a narcissist i get it. im not sure how to explain it but i had to get over it. the thing about narcissism at least in my experience is it often doesn't really matter. i don't see other people with a lot of interiority, esp if i only see their social positions. but like 99 percent of people im not gonna ever need to see them w interiority bc i dont effect many people. being able to talk with people and sympathize is a learned thing and you gotta learn it every time which fucking sucks. but it also means youre not doomed if it doesnt come to everybody.

my advice i geuss is to make sure you don't feel guilty about it. guilt is just an internal emotion it doesnt have real effects on the outside world it effects you and you have effects after that. this didn't make my npd go away but it did decrease it alot.

>>43212860
also this is gonna sound really corny but get some catharsis from time to time. blow something up in a simulator. rip up paper. hell, cut yourself if you need to, just make sure to treat the wound directly afterward.

>>43212709
u dont get to jerk off when youre dead. and contrary to popular belief jerking off rocks

>>43213019
Nothing offers any catharsis or makes me feel anything anymore

>>43213252
have you tried watching animation memes

>>43213252
you feel rage no. at least you feel rage right

>>43212709
Are you a jihadists

There is so much more pain and beauty to find

>>43212709
Food is good, can't enjoy that when you're dead

You know those moments when you're in bed but not asleep yet and you're really warm and comfy? Can't have that if you're dead

Surely there are still video games you want to play, can't play vidya if you're dead

Love is still an option so long as you're alive. It's worth going on just in case you might find someone who could love you.

Just off the top of my head.

>>43215248
I've lost my ability to taste

I only go to sleep with the hope of never waking up again

Vidya is a hollow timekill. Keeps me busy and makes it easier to dissociate. There's no fun

The thought of being loved is vile to me

>>43212709
the pain isn't worth it op, trust me. i'm offing myself this weekend, and even though i hate denying myself the ability to act in this world anymore, i know at least i wont have to feel bad from anything ever again; like the deep shame i get in being reminded of what i am. you should do it too.

>>43215307
Your suffering is the result of desire.

You believe in a version of yourself that is better that prevents you from enjoying sensory pleasures. You must either cease to desire this or make progress towards something to resolve this.

>>43215320
I hope I'll manage to join you nona

>>43215370
I don't know. My only steadfast desire in years has been to kill myself. Everything else has been fleeting and unfulfilling. It doesn't help that my mere existence is hurting everyone around me

>>43212709
you cant kill people if youre dead

By the time you kill yourself it's too late.

>>43217543
Too late for what?

>>43212709
spite