I WAS A RETARD AND LUBED A PINECONE HALF UP MY ASS AND I CAN'T PULL IT OUT IVE BEEN IN THE TUB FOR LIKE AN HOUR TRYING TO WIGGLE IT OUT AND IT HYRTS AND THERES BLOOD PLSS HELP I CAN'T GO TO THE HOSPITAL
>>43216299lmaooo
Go to the hospital retard
bruv wtf go to a hospital
>>43216299leave it there and then cut when it becomes a tree
hopital. what species of pine?
>>43216314>>43216320I feel like it's reasonable to accept your fate in thia situation.
>>43216299pics of pinecone in ass or it didnt happen
>>43216299go to the hospitalpost update btw>>43216332lol
>>43216314>>43216320I CANTTTT I CANT AFFORD IT AND MY PARENTS WOULD DISOWN ME>>43216332IDK
>>43216299hospital.also why??? why????
>>43216359you have no choice. it's not coming out without a doctor.
>no reverse image search
>>43216388>>43216314>>43216320Some of you aren’t American and it shows
>>43216359>>43216455Tell yourself that Bernie Sanders will win the next election and give out reparations for all hospitals fees and just go
>>43216455i mean there is really nothing anyone else but a doctor can do
GO THE THE FUCKING HOSPITAL OR YOU WILL DIE. YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA KNOW REGARDLESS. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, SILENTLY DIE OR BLEED ALL OVER THE PLACE, HOPING THEY WON'T FIGURE IT OUT? NAH, YOU'RE FUCKED EITHER WAY, DO THE SMART THING.
GO TO THE HOSPITAL LMAO IS THIS REAL???
>>43216359your family will buy you a dildo after, so you stop shoving spiky objects up your ass
>>43216455it's not my fault OP's dumb bleeding ass didn't consider his parents' lack of insurance
>>43216455what would you do in this situation my burger fren?
>>43216359OP MAKE A DECISION AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL
>>43216543Die, like you’re SUPPOSED TO
>>43216554of course...
>>43216543I would commit suicide with two guns at onceAt least two
>>43216299literally why would you do this like please share the thought process
>>43216575>damn that pinecone is hot af>yea fuck me mr pinecone
MY PARENTS WOULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY THE BATHROOM LOOKS LIKE A SLAUGHTERHOUSR AND THERE TRANNY DAUGHTER RACKED UP A 5000 DOLLAR HOAPITAL BILL OVER A FUCK IG PONECONE THEYD KICK ME OUT
>>43216573isnt it easier to go into debt with the jews?
>>43216299let your hand heal a little first. get gloves and lube and any other shit to make sure you dont hurt the inside any more than you have. then, start breaking the pinecone slowly and carefully, tearing off each scale individually. make sure to take the scale out before moving to the next. im going to assume you put it in "head" down (would be extremely painful to get in otherwise). try and make sure the spurs left when you remove the scales aren't sharp. take a nail file if you have to ig. repeat for all scales. wrap the axis that remains in something, like gauze. remove victorious over your piny opponent.
>>43216599why didn't you think about this before putting a pinecone in your ass bro
>>43216612oh and i forgot if theres seeds just leave em in there i think itd be funny.
>>43216599>PONECONE
>>43216620she probably did and was riding the high of ruining her life. oddly understandable human behaviour lmao
>>43216612have you done this before?>>43216299include me in the screenshot please
>>43216640>have you done this before?no, but maybe i will one day, to test myself.
>>43216609No, that’s worse than dying. Jews are evil and not human
If you dont go to the fucking hospital that seems like something that could potentially actually kill you please be safe
>>43216299You absolute madlad go to the hospital ples
even if you remove this thing you are gonna get a nasty infection. your only choice is hospital im sorry op but play stupid games win stupid prizes
>>43216731this too OP you might want to figure out some alternate explanation for your bleeding ass. on the other hand, doctors actually probably encounter this more often than you think. so maybe you'll be alright. up to you.
>>43216753They really do my sister in law has horror stories as an RN, lots of mysterious objects and blood in various holes. One dude even came in with his dick severed in a sandwich bag lol
>>43216753>on the other handok tevyehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWGtjqv19ZA
>>43216299>everything is a dildo if you're brave enough
>>43216299It was a million to one shot doc
I fell over when hiking
dont worry, your body will absorb it over time. I once lost a whole apple 3 years later I pooped out an entire apple core
Oh well if you don't want to go to the hospital I guess you'll just die. See ya.
>>43216882you've heard of comparing apples to oranges. now get ready...
>>43216822my friend was a paramedic, he once responded to a call and the guy was biking to the hospital with his severed dick in a ziplock bag, apperantly his gf cut it off while he was sleeping
>>43216899force feminization?? that guy is lucky
>>43216299>eheheheHEEHHE
>>43216899meanwhile last time i went into a hospital they cut my penis off
>>43216991Why did they do that?
>>43217095they said i didn't need it since i am a girl
>>43216599would you rather die of ass bleeding? go to the hospital
>>43216599>mom found the ass pinecone
>>43217179ponecone*
>>43216299are you a pooner by any chance?>pooncone
>>43216299Go to the hospital before you get sepsis and die
>>43216299go hospital>inb4 "no i am american"go anyway, you can always set up comical home alone esque traps for any debt collectors
Retards really acting like they have another body to go to after they ruin this oneGive me your life energy so I can put it to good use asshole!
>>43216899Like the astronaut lady did???
>>43216299you only have two options:go to hospitalor dying from most likely the bleeding and even if you would survive this you would 100% die from infection or sepsisyou probably even need a surgery to close the wound and survive thisit's really just hospital or die you really have no other choice
is OP kill?
>>43217669She's in the hospital hopefully
>>43217673ok
This is what the white race has come to.
>>43217673either that or unconscious from the blood looshopefully parents ops find them and bring op to hospital
>>43217689what no slavery does to a mf
>>43216612Congratulations for being the only helpful person on this thread! Maybe OP is doing this right now.
>>43217870>go to hospital>bad advice>diy>good advice
>>43216299this picture is so disgusting
>>43217673OP is kill
>>43216534im american, not 26 yet, and disowned by them
>>43217952so you went to the hospital?
>>43217952How did they get the pinecone out?
>>43216325underrated
>>43216918bunderbated
Can we get a hospital update??? I want to know what the doctor says
>>43216299why did you have to fucking post the poop finger
>>43218046doctor here, OP is diagnosed with fake. also it seems to be advanced so we’re classifying it FAKE AND GAY
>>43216509Seems easy to fake but also completely within the realm of possibility
put me in the screencap
No pic. Op is full of shit, not pinecone
>>43216359Just pretend you got assaulted
UPDATE OR LARP
>>43218140good call poonah!
>>43218147>they shoved me down and called me a sissy and put pinecones in my asshumm make sense
say that a massive cat cryptid held you down and penetrated your anus, that will explain the pine cone patterned cuts. then mention it disappeared into the forest saying “khajit has wares and HIV”
>>43218178>>43218147Then they said "THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY"
Pine is a word that can mean dick in French.
>>43218046yes hospital update please
>>43216299GO TO THE DOCTOR, BOTTOM!Say you were walking and fell, and then it went up your ass, it's the perfect plan.
Literally just cope and say you don't know what happened. Just deny. They can't force you to say. Just seem really distressed like wtf how did that get there, oh darn.
mf got raped by an affini
>>43218323That only works like once, if op is brazen enough to shove a pinecone up there I’m sure it’s not their first ER trip for something up their ass
>>43218346kill yourself
>>43218346Don't like this post
