>started hrt at 15>had a giant mental breakdown and was hospitalized 3 times between ages of 16-19. >eventually stop being so erratic (it was probably caused by psych meds). im extremely calm and unemotional now.>now im 30>still live at home with my dad>I literally sleep in the same bedroom I slept in when I was 5 with the same stuffed animals I have had since I was 7. >own no girl cloths, only boymode after 15 years hrt>graduated college but never used my degree>a NEET at 30>0 irl friendsoddly enough my dad seems fine with this. Why did I just completely fail at life? It's hard to believe im 30 already. Ive literally been on hrt for most of my life.
Look for job, and figure out how to move out, you will never become a person if you don't
>>43237528You have or had mental health issues if you needed psych meds. It's cool your dad supports you
>>43237528>started hrt at 15>own no girl cloths, only boymode after 15 years hrtwow.
>>43240187I get fired from every job in like 6 months. ive had like 3 in the last 2 years. I don't even do anything bad I just make mistakes. ive never been late to work my whole life or missed a day. >>43240206the mental health issues were from the stupid pills. and then when things got worse from the pills they gave me more pills. >>43240410I don't pass at all. im 6'. even after ffs and srs
>>43240600Strangers misgender you?
>>43240600how do u have a pussy but no girl clothes and ur a boymoder what. that’s insane and tragic. u prob don’t pass cus ur not even trying and the stress of everything is making ur appearance worse than it would be if ur starla was properly treated
>>43240703dysphoria* wtf is autocorrect on
>>43240619yes. I never get ma'amed when I go out. My hair isnt that long tho. maybe a little less than shoulder length.>>43240703the pussy was free from my dads health insurance so I figured I might as well take it. how tf would I properly treat my dysphoria I already had surgery. I focus really hard on my posuture too and squeezing my shoulders together (they are wide)
>>43241014ummm social transition and integration??? the lack of social transition and integration is stressing u and making ur appearance worse trust. if u finally overcome that life hurdle and become able to do things that make u happy and urself and gets rid of that lasting dysphoria you’ll look better and be glowing bcus ur happier and less stressed and stuff. trust i’ve been in this situation since i transitioned at 16 and im now 20 where its like a loop that when i put more effort in socially i look better which causes me to be able to socially transition further. but then i go insane and isolate again and my body gets disgusting again and i feel unable to socially transition so then i keep getting worse and stuff and its harder to pull myself out. rlly u just have to do anything and absolutely what ever u can to pull urself out doesn’t matter how self destructive it is as long as it gets u out and u don’t lose urself and it helps bring u to where u need to be. imo at least
>>43237528same problem, i feel sad and jealous when people talk about their lives with their friends and their job and stuff. why is stuff happening to them and my options are. be a neet or be a depressed wageslave?
>>43241084lol so I can go out and be an optics nuke rapehon. No thanks. my dad believes im a woman that and that is 100% of my social life anyway
>>43241154omfg u literally transitioned at 15. idw be an opticnuke rapehon either which is why im not fully socially integrated. but like. seriously? u can’t find ANY potential future in going outside??? like not even if u were skinny and pretty? what i was trying to say is give urself an eating disorder or something and put like 5 hours of effort into ur appearance every day. no one will care if ur 6 foot tall if ur pretty and skinny and look respectable and cared for. how tf do u waste ur entire youth over ts. as a tranny ur mental illnesses are supposed to make u prettier. just get manic and high or something
>>43241260I have been losing weight. im 160# now. what is the point? I go outside to be some wagesslave? I move out and them im just alone all day? I used to have a bf but I broke up because it was more trouble than its worth. I look pretty good as a 30 year old guy, but nothing like a woman.
Sometimes I think I'm a loser. Thx OP for being so trash it made me feel better
>>43241436>what is the point?because life has much more to offer than rotting inside and things can be beautiful sometimes?>I go outside to be some wagesslave? literally who said u have to get a job. just go to someplace fun like a botanical garden or nature or a show or to go meet the plug or something or se a friend or get food. like are u retarded. just go out at night or something >I move out and them im just alone all day?no one said u have to move out. just do something more with urself and listen to ur intuition and what fucking ever. >>43241498literally fucking same. this post is inspiring me to stop spiraling like this is a wake up call i do not wanna end up like op
>>43237528Trannies are mentally insane and don’t belong in the same society as me.
>>43241566well lucky you im not part of society>>43241558that doesnt sound fun, it sounds stressful. I like being at home it feels safe. >>43241498you are welcome
>>43241558I had the wake-up call a year ago and started studying again at 30 (second masters lol), stopped weed, etc, but like I feel late af and shit I've never worked but daaaaamn I'm not doing that bad >>43241637Touch grass bruv
>>43241637>that doesnt sound fun, it sounds stressful. I like being at home it feels safe.so literally just get high or drunk before u go out. or go to a secluded place like a forest. going outside after not having done so in a while is very scary. but if u feel confident and pretty and skinny and high it can be manageable and then it gets easier after time. even just being alone walking around aimlessly at night with music in ur earbuds is such a vibe. i’ve been doing that since i was 14 and it works. like don’t u at least wanna go out in a cool fit and actually present urself in the smallest way to just smoke a cig and listen to music or something? like just go SOMEWHERE at night and do the smallest thing ever thats the absolute least u can do. go connect w nature or some shit. u can still isolate while going outside. like that’s not ideal but it’s better than isolating inside
>>43241637Clearly you DON’T like being at home and rotting all your life because you’re here and complaining about it and how you wasted your youth. You’re only 30, there is still life to be had, should you choose to embrace it. That requires some discomfort but for the love of god im asking you to go face that discomfort. Talk to someone besides your dad, doesnt have to be a long conversation. Wear a dress, walk outside. Doesn’t have to be a long walk. The problem is you are trapped inside a negative feedback loop of your own creation.You need to take small steps to do things differently. If you do it enough it will become routine. And one day you will wake up, with friends and life and realize you changed things and you are capable of it. The physical change moves faster than your brain does to realize you are different.Do something different please
>>43240187this, I haven't moved out of a student house while nearing 40, I have stopped being human a long time ago, and our gun laws are the thing that prevented me from putting a very fast stone through the base of my brain the last few weeks
>>43241789>going outside after not having done so in a while is very scary.I still go out, im not agorophobic, I just try to avoid it. I go to the grocery store and whatnot. I walk my dad's dog. >>43241999metal is not a stone.>>43241796what I don't like is being an ersatz woman. Every time I talk to someone I regret it. Im always kicking myself for telling people stuff or talking. I havent had friends my whole life, even in school.
