How are trannies able to exist and not constantly want to cut themselves and think about suicide daily. I really don’t understand. Every day I’m fighting the urge to cut myself again because it’s the only thing that gave me a moment of reprieve from my mental issues. I’m constantly anxious and on edge about everything, afraid to talk to anybody irl that isn’t my sister. It’s hell. I try to ignore it and play dumb games and focus on school to try to manage but then some mildly challenging event like moving recently happens and I’m a sobbing mess. When does this stop. Therapy is useless, confiding in friends does nothing to help. Cutting is a nice temporary relief but that’s hard to hide with what kind of work I do. I just wanna be a normal person. I can’t even look at myself without disgust. People irl say I pass but it’s pity passing at best. All I have to distract me is my oshi’s music and dumb games. I just want to stop feeling like this
>>43242379Hormones, transition, and passing helped a ton. It works. It doesn't fix everything, though. Any other mental health issues will still be there. But it definitely fixed the biggie.t. ~40yo troon who trooned in her teens
>>43242379i wish i had an answer for you other than "dissociate harder" but that's the only thing that works for me desu just avoid mirrors and the outdoors and if you're forced into a social situation anyway just keep singing how to disappear completely in your head>>43242588>Hormones, transitionoh cool maybe there's hope for m->and passing>trooned in her teensah there it is, back to self-desertionsorry i should be less bitter i don't mean to rain on your parade i am genuinely happy things worked out for you especially since, if you don't mind me asking, what was it like being a trans teen in the 90s? i mean that was back when normies literally didn't know trans people existed outside of ace ventura, right? how did you even swing that i'm impressed
>>43242379I honestly thought trannies would cope more by using drugs instead of cutting themselves because one gives you euphoria but one just gives you pain.>I’m fighting the urge to cut myself again because it’s the only thing that gave me a moment of reprieve from my mental issuesWhat does cutting feel like that you do it so much? does it give you a sense of relief? what about the pain?
>>43242379>How are trannies able to exist and not constantly want to cut themselves and think about suicide daily.transitioninglooking more like the gender they feel they are
>>43242379idk but it's getting worse while it gets better
>>43242661they do it's just so typical nobody talks about it because they're either ashamed or disinterested in talking about basic daily maintenance. it's like asking someone how they organize their socks, or what water drinking "techniques" they use. usually it's alcohol, getting anything stronger takes basic social skills that they tend to atrophy as rigorously as their genitals, n usually goes hand in hand with the drugs for hugs promiscuity you see in lots of baby gays/theys
>>43242648I, uhh, developed into a mild sociopath. Did sex work to afford smuggled HRT. Look, you can pass even if you start as late as your thirties. It is possible. Back then 34 was considered young. Me trooning in my teens was almost unheard of. I know some who started in their late twenties and early thirties, and you would never know seeing them in public. A bit of a luck shit, but you get what you put into it.It was a felony to be outside. It was considered "soliciting prostitution," and there was no legal defense for it as your physical body was evidence for the prosecution. "Why else would someone do this?"Be glad people even fake acceptance.Look, I am drunk.But like, I got to passing by dealing with a rough life, no legitimate job, unstable emotions, using men. I traded my sanity for beauty. Those who started later, they pass via effort, but kept their sanity.You can do the same.
>>43242661>>43242661The pain from it is the only form of anxiety relief that lasts for me. Drinking or drugs honestly just make it worse half the time. Even just a few cuts is enough usually, and when the anxiety wells up in the days after i can put pressure on my arm to make it hurt again.
>>43242588I've been on hrt for 3 and mentally it doesn't do shit for me. Supposedly I pass to people but it really doesn't matter when I'm still unable to see myself as anything other than a disgusting moid in the mirror
I mean, you’re not going to feel like a normal person unless you see yourself in people you see as normal. Existing with people that don’t see you as an “other”, including yourself. Basically means you’ll feel like a human if you see other humans like you.. find your local queer community and drop your shame and pride and you will find yourself in them, real people, as opposed to the people that you’re a part of who hate you in your head. A lack of connection to your humanity is solved with connection to other humans. If your sister is the only person you can accept picturing your true self next to, then that’s the your only connection. If you can’t picture your girlself being perceived by another person you won’t be able to connect with them and that comes from your own perception of yourself mostly. It really is a breakthrough though, youll need to look at yourself in the mirror until the disgust fades and you cry until you can’t anymore and realize your body is your own and it’s worth loving even if it looks wrong. you’ll realize your body never was wrong in the first place, the wrong part was how you saw yourself in it. This doesn’t mean don’t do HRT or present feminine btw, just means accept your body as a canvas you can grow on and not as a defect to destroy. I guess it also helps that I grew up brown in a white neighborhood.. I was never going to be normal anyway so I was forced to confront and unlearn Epsteins ideals for beauty.Anyways sorry for essay tldr your perception of yourself as wrong and subsequent desire for self harm stems from your inherited ideals of aesthetics and gender from a society that doesn’t want you so unlearn that.Also learning fashion is probably the easiest way to unlearn gender norms imo.. once you understand the fundamentals of what fits and what works visually it becomes pretty trivial to present as indescribably feminine while having masculine features and not feeling like a costume.
>>43242905*3 years
>>43242905Then you are delusional. Leave tranny spaces. Go into the wild. Leave the LGBT community. It gives us nothing. Strangers are not so kind. Time heals all. Dress the part, but not over the top. Just casual. Get electrolysis/laser. That helps the most. With that, and post op, I never thought about it at all until Trump.>>43242661What? Cutting definitely gives euphoria. And it's free. Just be sure to do site cleaning and after care to it.
>>43242920It's a matter of anybody really, I always feel some level of disconnect with people, cis or trans. I really don't get why you're doing the "love your body lol" shit cuz that really doesn't work. I can't accept something that shouldn't exist to begin with. I present and live as a woman irl and that only kinda subsided some of it.
>>43242972>What? Cutting definitely gives euphoria. And it's free. Just be sure to do site cleaning and after care to it.what? I mean I've had cut injuries before and I thought of why would people do that since it hurts.Maybe by cuts you mean superficial cuts?
>>43243003Yeah, no shit. I only ever used my fingernails, or a ritual dagger to just scrape through just enough to draw blood. Literally just enough to get norepinephrine rushing. The goal isn't actually real harm. Just enough to get you either to check out of a situation or to force yourself back into yourself. It's hard to explain.
>>43242755fuck that sounds rough and i'm really sorry you had to go through that but uh it does simultaneously sound really badass if that's any consolation. i'm drunk too desu but you've inspired me, i've been repping hard telling myself i'm too old too tall etc to transition but if you were able to go through all that back then then i truly have no excuse in an era when i can just walk into a doctor's office. ty for sharing your story, might've been a rough road but at least you ended up a cool and hot girl
>>43242661pain can feel good. i used to cut as a kid because i hated my body and what it was doing and it felt good to hurt the thing that was hurting me. wish id just cut off my balls as a kid, would have saved me a lot of trouble
>>43242977Ya im saying the idea that you shouldn’t exist in the first place is downstream of a patriarchal society… there are many cultures where trans is a normal and expected way to be. Obviously we live in the society we live in yada yada but it’s your perogative to unlearn that societal system. Or atleast be aware of it. Otherwise you’ll never understand why you feel like you’re living lie. It’s torturing yourself out of ignorance of any other way to live. You seriously want to be accepted to by a system that doesn’t think you should exist? And it doesn’t matter if you’re too unlovable and above it all to connect with other people. You still have to live with yourself, you are a person that is susceptible to the same transphobia as everyone else.
>>43243208Unironically yes, I want nothing more than to just blend into society and live a plain normal life. Not be plagued with mental issues. What good is unlearning if I still have to live in the society that fostered that thought.
>>43243208>You seriously want to be accepted to by a system that doesn’t think you should exist?i would do literally anything for this, yes
>>43242379repping doesnt work trooning doesnt work substances dont work the only thing that makes life even slightly baerable to me is spending time with people that i care about but im an autistic freak on top of being a tranny so i have like 2 irl friends and i see them 4 times a year. that being said im too much of a pussy to kill myself so i might as well try to make things bearable until i can. maybe before that happens i wont want to die anymore.
>>43242379because cutting is retarded and i just go numb and use drugs instead.
Live in the moment and stop spending every moment inside your head.
>>43242379uhh I pass now and now instead of tranny shit I cut myself because I'm lonely and my boyfriend left me for a cis girl
