does anyone else have an issue with not being able to make real connections/friendships while not knowing what theyre doing wrong :<im not confrontational, I ask questions, i engage with their interests, ill watch shows/play games they recommend im not the most interesting person but im not that boring i dont think, i have interests but when i bring them up to others they rarley get engaged withIt feels like trying to make friends with others has been a cycle of acting as a mirror for them to talk about themselves with until they get bored of it and stop messaging first and start messaging dryly once i stop messaging first the relationship endsit feels like im never really liked or trusted and it makes me sad :(
>>43242826samebut I know im genuinely boring
I know exactly how you feel. I tried tagmap recently and one person ghosted me because I said VR games get me sick. Like wtf I know other people don't have it this hard. I started just telling myself the other people was overwhelmed and had to bail to save myself from all the self hating I end up doing after...
I'm really bad at making friends. I post in /frengen/ and /soc/ but I don't have much to talk about with others. The only constant is me so I think I am the problem. People always stop talking after a week or two and then I schiz out and nuke my friends list after a few weeks of inactivity.
>>43242852i bet ur not as boring as u think nona >>43242859poor nona i know how you feel tagmap has made me feel miserable a lot i met a nice former 4tranner there and we shared a ton of intrests had fun in calls and were similar in some ways but then she just randomly stopped talking to me outside of one word replys when i tried to message i thought we were gonna end up being irls so it was really sad
this issue is even made even worse by the fact i have bpd, what am i supposed to do?
>>43242906mayb the issue is with meeting ppl from this board or adjacent spaces a lot of us are antisocial so some trannies just zone out and stop caring about talking to others but idk
>>43242912Yeah one local girl added me who seemed really cool, but I yapped at her too much right away and scared her away. She was poly with a gf which I'm not looking for but it would have been cool to have a local friend, especially a fellow tranner...
>>43242922i wish ppl with bpd were treated better its sad that mental instability will stop someone from being friends with u i dont have bpd but i feel for you i think friends should be more tolerate and understanding of that stuff
>>43242950is talking too much to someone scary if you give no indication of ulterior motives? i cant rly imagine someone having an issue with "yapping too much" on its face but i am an autist so idk
if anyone wants to try being friends you can add me on discordi am currently really sleepy and slowed down by a new antipsychotic but i like when people yap at me and i like hearing people talk about their interests even if i don't share themlainon
>>43242960i guess i dont make it easier for the other people by not having the best self control but before i even act out i always cut them off due to fear or insecurity that they dont really like me ive cut off hundreds of people because of this
>>43242984idk. I messaged her a day after she added me, and she responded later that night at midnight. In the morning I said hi and apologized for being asleep then. She said it was cool and acted fine. After that I asked her about the bar she had in her bio and another local bar and she stopped responding.
>>43242950>>43242984i never understood why people get scared off when others yap a lot, i always really liked it it just feels like they enjoy talking to me, i only get scared when they stop yapping consistently
>>43243001that sounds like itd be rough on your psyche the reaction isnt unfounded trying your hardest to be friend with someone than feeling dejected is sad and also embarrassing it makes you want to get away from them to avoid that feeling.. have u been able to make any good irls nona? >>43243017thats not nice of her idk whats up with people adding on tagmap then not putting in any effort to be friends her being a polyamory type tho you proabably dodged a huge bullet
i do struggle to make friends :/ i feel like i don’t fit in anywhere even with other trannys, i’m also mentally ill in other ways which sort of helps me bond with the other mentally ill girls but the girls that are like me, similarly to me, struggle to forge new connections that are longstanding because of so much unrest mentally and in physical circumstances. being a quiet person doesn’t help
>>43243038lots of troons experience avoidant attachment so maybe its that? im not sure what else the underlying feeling could be caused by>>43243080i understand you perfectly i think our experiences mirror each other its hard to relate to the vast swaths of trannys but the ones we do relate too because theyre mentally ill are much less likely to be able to form bonds because of it
>>43243066i have no irl friends ive had some in the past but i cut them all of for either being mean or because i didnt feel connected to themthe main reason why i dont really have friends is because of that latter reason, not feeling connected to anyone
>>43243108connecting to others is hard when u have the mental neurosis thats a prerequisite for active usage this board and not being able to connect with people makes living so lonely I miss the feeling of being appreciated and trusted rather than feeling like i have to constantly fight to prove to others that im worth talking to I hope you can find more people to connect to there are plenty that are like you it just takes awhile to find the ones that are who willing to put effort in on things other than themselves
>>43242826btw i live in eugene oregon if anyone happens to be nearby just throwing that out there ig
>>43243259>I miss the feeling of being appreciated and trusted rather than feeling like i have to constantly fight to prove to others that im worth talking toevery new person i talk to feels like this, i know i have to put in effort but everything i say feels like it needs to be perfect in order for the other person to like meits been years since ive found someone i can just talk to effortlessly and it just works out
>>43243288exactly yesh it dosnt only make talking to others less enjoyable and more stressful it also makes the inevitable let down of the other person not caring worse because if youre trying so much and its still not working then its hard to not think it says something about yourself rather than if u wernt putting effort in bwehhhhno pressure but feel free to add me on discord if u want nona maybe itd be better to talk to someone who feels the same way snail_of_arc is my discord
>>43242912nah multiple people have told me to my face that I am extremely boring
I've been on both sides of this stuff. I've tried for years to make friends with people, putting myself out there and getting rejected 99% of the time unless 1% of the time they're really nice people. But then I feel guilty for being a boring loser wasting an incredibly nice person's time, especially when they have actual/irl friends and hobbies they enjoy way more. I have nothing to offer anyone.If it weren't explicitly confirmed throughout my life, I wouldn't worry about this so much. But it seems like anytime I think I have a good connection with anyone, it turns out I'm completely forgettable to them or I'm clearly a net negative in their life and then I distance myself. It's mental illness and I hate "living" like this.
>>43242826I'll be your friend nona
Current internet is hostile as fuck. We need to pack all the evil in the world back into its rightful home./b/
>>43244191i'd go back willingly but it's still sunk beneath an ocean of pornpol too is just reddit now i hate it ._.
