So HRT makes me sad/emotionally unstable, kills my personality, kills my libido and makes me sleep worse because of weaker pelvic floor. It also gives me tits which make me not want to socialize, get a job or get bitches. On the other hand, I dislike aging and it helps give me a more youthful appearance. I have bad bone structure so I can look real nasty now that I'm older. Another thing is that I'm AGP so it makes my looks more congruent with my fantasies; but my fantasies do almost die with HRT killing male type of obsessive sexuality. Finally I sometimes fetishize getting FFS and looking like a turbo sissy which would be hot. Another thing is I have lordosis which makes my butte stick out and I'm so self aware of it I'm afraid of walking with men behind me as it's embarrassing. So I wonder if I ever went through with more HRT or FFS I would live in a permanent state of embarrassment which could be hot in theory but obviously very emotionally damaging IRL. And that's about it, those are the main things going on for you to (if you want) help me calculate if it's worth continuing.
>>43268767if you want it, disregard current reality and frame all of your problems from the viewpoint of your ideal self.