being a transbian was so much easier but my dating pool as a transbian was dreary
>>43269576wdym? why is it more emotionally taxing than any other relationship? lesbian couples seem to argue a lot including transbians
They might be pretty but women are too awful to have to deal with regularly
most men are way more easygoing and grounded than emotional transbians prone to drama
>>43269690this but men instead of women
>>43269646it's just scarier
>>43269576i've dated both, men are way easier in almost everyway, doing even the most basic stuff for him will makes him extremely happy, a lot of women are far more complicated since emotions run high on both sides so even the smallest stuff can turn into drama if you don't have solid communication. I swore off woman a few years back but i fell for a woman a few months ago and i decided to try since it was my first time with a trans woman, at first it was great since she understood me better (i'm mtf) but after a short amount of time it quickly turned into the same drama filled bullshit it always is, but this time it was way worst, i couldn't even send her pics of me because even seeing the most bland picture would make her compare herself to me and feel bad for herself, i then got emotionally manipulated and i highly suspect she was doing sexual stuff with people online behind my back. This has literally never been the case with men, they will go above and beyond for you and all they ask in return is the most basic stuff, it's so peaceful not having to deal with stupid drama every 2 seconds, and if you think your being dumb you can just ask them and they'll tell you lol. You will regret trying men because going back to women after is shit, just my opinion (maybe i met the wrong trans woman idek).
>>43269576I hate that I'm attracted to other women as trans women, it feels like a curse. I'm not gonna hurt a man so I'll stay single but I really don't understand why I'm like this.
>>43269576i like men but i honestly dont know how i would date one. they always seem to not have a very good grasp on more subtle emotions which to me seems essential for a relationship
Men are way easier woman will literally psychologically torture you with secrets and lies and avoidency and pretend their telling you whats wrong so they get to feel like the victim while literally lying to your face anf getting mad at you for not understanding their games because they refuse to just say how they feel
Men are incredibly easy to date if you do 2 things;- Get good at picking out the actually evil ones.- Learn how to directly say what you want.A lot of people have issues with men seeming to be 'retarded', but it's usually just guys not wanting to overstep boundaries, being very pragmatic about stuff and thinking it's not that important to you, or being socially clueless. You can get guys to do a lot of specific behaviors just by saying you like when they do it. If you tell a guy you like when he plays with your hair and he isn't completely retarded he's probably going to do it every chance he gets.
>>43269576for me, dating men was easier because there were defined roles and i had to think subsequently less.im attracted to women more, but the pressure to perform and live up to the expectations are just so much more difficult, and the heartbreak is ten times worse. so i just date men now
>>43276651>Learn how to directly say what you wantthis
>>43276651this. we don't want to have to play mind reader with someone's needs because if you guess wrong it's far more socially damaging to be seen as controlling or paternalistic the as just retarded l.t.chaser
>>43280572*then just as retarded
>>43276651I am bissexual but this is exactly why I find it hard dating men. It sometimes feels like being someones mother or training a dog.
>>43274089men will use you as a practice gf and leave you for a cis woman at the earliest opportunityor they're gay and never saw you as a woman in the first place
>>43280642this is what i hate about women. someone tells you to just be direct and say what you want and you get the ick and say it's like training a dog. good lord. just fucking communicate.
>>43280677I do! In fact I really value that. I don't think direct communication needs to be like that post described though. For example if I said I like something and then ' he's probably going to do it every chance he gets.', it sort of devalues it for me.An example. I might directly communicate to a woman my favourite colour and that I love the spring because flowers start blooming and that my new place is getting me down. These are all direct communications of my inner world. She might take that and buy me some daffodils, because I love yellow and the spring and it would make my new place brighter. In my experience a man will not think that way. But if I said 'I like when you get me flowers', I can expect a bouquet at every significant event until I die. Both are examples of direct communication but the former will make me feel much more deeply understood. The later feels like training a dog to do a trick, and makes me feel like I'm expected to be some input-output half human robot. Flower goes in, happy comes out.
>>43280677I'll also add this >>43280737 is not always the case and my last boyfriend was really good at understanding me in the way I described so I appreciate I am generalising and if this doesn't reflect you then good for you king
>>43269576being madly in love is an emotional rollercoaster periodt. it has nothing to do with its a man or a woman or an alien.
>>43280661I disagree, my ex boyfriend was with me for 8 years on and off, i was the only trans woman he's dated and he knew very little about it before i met him, he's been with cis women and had woman show interest during our time together, he was always loyal to me and ultimately the relationship ending was completely my fault and my choice. He's definitely not gay either, outside of me he would only pursue cis women, honestly i hope he takes me back, we're talking rn, but i cheated and i know i deserve nothing, so i'm not expecting much.
>>43280894>get a non-gay loyal dedicated boyfriend as a tranny>cheat on himkek
>>43280922i wanted to experience intimacy with a woman, i will hate myself till the day i die, my only hope is that he can take me back and i'll just give him all my passwords etc
>>43269576how do I fall in love? Ive never been in love with anyone. how do I know when im in love? I wish I could fall in love. i tried tinder but I dont think thats falling in love, thats just "finding a mate". I dont know hwo I can put myself in a situation when i fall in love.
>>43269576Why was it easier?
>>43280737I think you just date retards who cant see hints
>>43281083Probably true ngl
>>43281030Have you ever had a crush on someone you know? You know that feeling of giddy elation when you’re around someone you’re really into? That’s part of it. There’s an added sense of safety and acceptance when the feeling is mutual and expressed though.Not sure what to say about putting yourself in a situation where you might fall in love. Part of it is just meeting people. School and work are good, since you have long sustained contact with lots of folks, and there are obvious common experiences and struggles to bond over.
>>43281144no i never had a crush in my life. seriously. i dont know what it feels like. ive had friend crushes where I wanna be someones bestfriend but never a romantic crush. I really want to get one, i really want to have a crush on a boy like in the movies but Ive never met a boy ive been able to crush on. it seems the boys I love only exist on tv and movies.
>>43281131when was the last time you gave a hint to a dude? was there a follow up? or like something nice they did was there a hint? girls feel less likely for me to be randomly nice idk men like to give gifts and be "performative" nice in my experiences
>>43281154I love john lennon and paul mccartney, if i could go back in time and date them . thats what I want. but cant.
>>43281170You love woman abusers?
>>43281180ur a retard. john hit cynthia once and apologised about it, yes its not perfect and its not good but hes not a woman abuser, he never layed a hand on yoko. he had some problems but he was overall a good man and did good things. pauls accuser was completely dismissed and had no evidence for her claims
>>43281154Huh… do you think that’s been an issue of not meeting any boys you liked, or it not feeling safe to do so? I feel like that’s why a lot of people end up forming crushes on stars/fictional characters.I’ve had crushes on plenty of men and women in my life. I’m honestly having a hard time imagining what life would be like without that experience
>>43281223I did have now i remember I did have a crush on one arab boy when i was in middle school. i remember, but it didnt work out because he wasnt gay. so I do have the capability. but I just dont encounter many cute boys, I think its an issue with my country maybe. we dont get the cute boys only the big scary muscle men.
>>43281246I’m sorry you have a shortage of cute boys around, that’s a real tragedy :(That’s good you know what a crush feels like anyway. You’ll know you’re on the right track with someone when you start feeling something similar in the future. Gl, hope you meet more cute boys at some point <3
