>>43280893
Forgive me father for I have sinned, it’s been two weeks since my last confession.

>>43280893
I just jerked off imagining getting my booty railed, and blew a big hot load into a dirty tee shirt. Now I’m going to do the laundry.

>>43280893
Im falling in love with my male best friend who ive known since i was 10, hes kinda supportive of my transition and we're FWB but i want to date him. I feel like he will never see me as a girl or ever really love me so i will never tell him how i feel

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing and I'm afraid to regret it.

File: shrimp.png (55 KB, 498x252)

55 KB PNG

It appears I've come to an impasse. I'm finally on the correct medication for my neurospicy brain, and my insecurities have somewhat diminished. However, I'm now a 28 year old virgin. I had a couple of opportunities to lose my virginity, but I turned them down because I was too insecure. I don't think I look bad, and I think people generally like me. But I've been a sexless blob for so long, I'm not sure I even want to have sex now. I mean, I think I belong in hornyjail but being a sexual creature is just not something that's even been part of my identity.

Every queer person in a 150 mile radius of me is a vile tech ghoul or blood drinking contractor freak (ive seen a faggot in his Raytheon workout wear) and I want to be able to experience love but I know these demons are incapable of it.

>>43281488
idk nona the way you put it it sounds like he's gay so yeah might need to drop those feelings, good way to do that is to stop having sex with him btw

>>43282382
The money, though..

>>43282382
Huntsville, AL?

>>43285315
All I'll say is its the DMV area and thats all you really need to know that I feel safe divulging.

>>43285296
I'll be fine dying a broke faggot who can occasionally pay to visit other faggots.

im probably just a fem gay boy despite me having dysphoria and being trans and allat considering the extent to which i like men

I dont think its normal for women to think so much about cock and its many beauties and the intricacies of the male form(thick sweaty curly chest hair and man ass sigh im a fag)

this contrasts the cis women i know who seem barely interested in men half the time

im an embarrassment :< better than being agp i guess

>>43285686
I'm pretty sure I've seen my cis woman friends post some horny stuff online in like private stories or whatever, I feel like it must be more common than you think

I'm also a trans girl that was previously a femboy and have had lots of thoughts about this, so I get where you're coming from
you're still a girl or whatever gender if it feels wrong or weird to say you're a boy

>>43285686
Plenty of cis women are horndogs who fetishize men’s bodies

I want to confess but i cant

>>43287139
its an anonymous forum??? safest place to confess

File: 1690492346743403.png (116 KB, 476x451)

116 KB PNG

I was happy to give trans girls as a whole a shot when it came to long term dating, but every single one I've been with has been mentally unstable or otherwise neurotic to the point it was impossible to ignore and look past. Even the girls who had their lives together, had good familial connections, support networks, etc.
It's all very disappointing, for I had all the love in the world to give them.
And it's just left me feeling like this is simply a universal rule for them all, and aren't worth investing my time, heart and mind into.

>>43280893
im a pretty girl with a good body so i'd rather use pretty privilege my advantage and 'deal' with my dysphoria until i kill myself at around age 28 due to it than transition into a gross 5'2 basedboy

File: 1772179901940142.jpg (1.54 MB, 1170x1731)

1.54 MB JPG

I masturbate to the sound of cis men talking
>t. ranny

>>43280893
I sleep with people to get them to like me.

It’s a winning strategy, of my best friends I’ve slept with both of them. And it genuinely is the best way to fast track intimacy. By the time you’ve seen eachother naked there’s not much you can keep secret from eachother. But it’s a bit whore-ish and it has done nothing but damage my broader reputation as ‘the person who you shouldn’t invite to parties as they’ll fuck your closest friends’

>>43287751
Trvth nvke

>>43287751
>>43289670
Y'all just don't interact with the mentally stable trannies because we already have friends and lives going on and I guess you're just not one of them for whatever reason..I can assure you we exist tyvm.

>>43280893
I make up really sad elaborate scenarios in my head to get myself to cry because otherwise i'd have to hear my moid-whimpers and that just feels pathetic. it's much nicer to have tears streaming down my face while i don't make a sound.

>>43280893
i always told everyone i was intersex (i naturally had very low T and high E before starting HRT, not diagnosed intersex), so that they’d leave me alone and not try to position me as the trans educator in the room. i feel bad for lying to hide that part of myself. stopped doing it as much now because using it as an excuse was bothering me too much.

>>43280893
I have a huge cock and a kink for deflowering boymoders and I feel a little guilty cause they always resist and tell me it hurts at first and I just ignore them and pin them down with my hand over their mouth but once I get it in all the way it’s like a switch flips, you can tell it still hurts but they like… short circuit and go into like a factory default state where you can program them to do anything you want. It feels like getting someone hooked on crack to control them. They always catch feelings too. We don’t even acknowledge the resistance after it’s like they don’t even care they just squirt or dribble their load out and tremble and moan like a fucking hentai then like immediately just wanna fall asleep huffing my armpit with their ass full of cum. Crazy you can do that to someone’s son. Just forcibly hit the girl switch.

>>43289895
hot

>>43288306
Crush ruined

>>43288260
holy based

loving big dick as much as i do while at the same time hating masc body shouldn't be possible, i got fucked up in character creation, this shit sucks

I'll never forget the love your family showed me.

>>43280893
tfw brainworms are starting to make me think I was partially in the wrong when at first I was 100% convinced my feelings about something were absolutely legitimate

>>43282146
>"neurospicy"
>28 year old virgin
trans women really are women

I’m in a poly relationship, I’ve never been poly before but fell madly in love with a girl who is. It’s a constant struggle because my feelings for her are so strong, and I can’t make myself pursue anyone else because I know I’ll never love anyone as much as I love her. Shes getting married later this year to her partner she lives with and it makes me wanna rope every time I think about having to stand there and watch her marry someone else when I know we would be so much better for each other and I love her so much more than her fiancée ever could.

>>43293069
>I’m in a poly relationship

stopped reading there
whatever issue you're having, you brought it upon yourself

>>43291374
Wdym lol

>>43296267
you know it I know it

>>43296615
Are you some chaser in my DMs or a mystery secret admirer?

>>43296621
neither, I was just taking the piss, you have a good one

>>43296666
Same to you pisstaker :D

Looking in the mirror all I can think is: "why have I ever let you live?"

>>43280893
My father used to threaten to leave the family whenever we didn't behave the way he wanted us to (then eventually did fuck off) at a young age and it really fucked me up.

>>43280893
i told my ex situatiuonship i was falling in love with him after knowing me for 5 years and he blocked me everywhere and is now talking to 17-18 year olds on the bpdsluts server i wanna kms... im just old and ugly and unlovable and undesirable

I'm so thin i think I can feel my (completely empty) dormant mammary glands between my skin and ribs. feels like a disc of flat tissue behind my nipples. It doesn't feel like ribs do, and I can certainly see and feel those. I think some loose skin is all that's keeping me from looking like those spooky gross anorexiac images, since I can't really feel any fat anywhere. I used to go out in a big jacket to hide how thin I'd gotten under the padding, but now i wear them all the time since I can't hold onto any body heat so my hips get really cold. I'm thinking of getting gloves too, since my hands could probably spook others. It's gonna be freezing soon as well and I couldn't feel my hands from it at the same time last year. Thankfully my face still looks completely normal so nobody can tell as long as I keep my hands stuffed in my pockets when around people.

my greatest fear has always been getting beaten to death by someone too stupid to understand what they're doing and it's looking a lot like we're making a lot more of that kind of retard these days

>>43299814
like a cop beating you too hard or a downie killing you accidentally?

Whores took over the sad thread. You're not supposed to have a trip here!!!

it's always emotion > fact with you

File: 1630893825014.jpg (752 KB, 1000x706)

752 KB JPG

Thank you for your kindness last night, I wish I had more to offer back

I do feel something pulling from the edge of my self. Something that resist signification, an insistence without presence. Like in a dream, we never see the sun, although we are always aware of some brighter light. Do you think that consciousness resides in the body? Because the things that feel like 'me' are these thoughts and memories, anticipations and narratives, that were all made between us. Even these emotions are named and legible. But there's something that pre-exists language and representation, a part of us that existed before we ever spoke or thought.

I feel haunted by this, every day, and it's terrible, to be haunted by something that has no form, and which cannot even be expressed. When you stand with the sun behind you, and it casts a shadow: a hole in the ground shaped just like you. And something inside of you wants to fall into it, just so it can be given shape. I think, we both feel this need for signification more than anything. And you would die, if it couldn't be done. A beautiful life, or, otherwise, a beautiful death.

You live a beautiful life; I seek that too, in other ways. But the wound is the same. I thought you must know what I mean, why sometimes this longing for life can turn into a desire to die.

>>43292798
I'm not a trans woman anon...

sometimes i wish my immediate family would die so i would stop caring about them not accepting me

>>43299802
start eating cheeseburgers

What I did to you was wrong T. (or M.). I can't make it up to you. You did mistreat me, badly, yet I can't get over the guilt. If I don't make it I hope you don't find out.

J.